FANTASY TURN:The quest for
The Keystone has begun.
Goals"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed MiserablyBrave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.
Current SoundtrackBattleActionsFantasy: BLOOD FOR THE DEATH GOD!!!
(...) Charging wildly forward with your claymore held over your head, you chop downwardly at the Lizard Man!
(...) The Lizard Man again evades your attack, then counters with a bite at your neck!
(...) The Lizard Man catches you by surprise, but your armor deflects his powerful jaws! However, the force of the Lizard Man's attack sends you to the ground. He pins you down!
FW: Heal legs!
Mutie: Assimilate the constrictor!
Rats: Mess up some damned snakes!
(...) Unable to simply heal missing limbs with your limited healing magic, you attempt to summon yourself some new legs! Two new human legs sprout from your abdomen in place of the old ones! ...Both of them are left legs, but you can deal with that later.
"Ahhhhh, much better. My legs are- AAAAGGGGHHH MY FACE"
A snake jumps on your face and clamps down on your nose!
(...) Mutie absorbs the constrictor snake, growing a pair of
fangs in the process!
(...) The other constrictor snake, devastated by the loss of his best friend, releases your legs and lunges through the air! It lands on and devours one of the rats! The other runs away in fear and hides in Mutie. The constrictor snake slithers onto your chest and prepares to strike while you struggle with the snake on your nose, and several other snakes continue to surround you!
FW: Spin around in rage slicing anything around me in half after fatally bludgeoning it.
(...) Howling with pure DWARVEN RAGE, you spin around and eviscerate every last one of the Crundles! You then toss your battleaxe, decapitating the remaining Lizard Man and Frelock! Frelock's head rolls across the floor, underneath a nearby table. You pick up the mostly-intact pelt of one of the Crundles, for later crafting. Meanwhile your battleaxe continues to spit in the face of the laws of physics.
Fantasy:Get-up, and take shots at the crundles around Urist to distract them until the rest of the team arrives.
(...) Just when you're about to take a shot at one of the Crundles, Urist obliterates them all with his axe. Just then, yet another Bat Man comes around the corner into the dining room and swoops toward you! You attempt to take a shot at it, but fumble and drop your gun! Just as it descends upon you, Urist's axe comes hurtling into view and decapitates it cleanly! The battleaxe clatters to the floor next to you, followed by the Bat Man's twitching corpse.
Fantasy: Kill the Batman
(...) Unfortunately, you are not
The Man Who Killed Batman. The Bat Man descends on you, wildly swinging its claws!
(...) The Bat Man's claws sink into your chest, tearing apart your flesh and sending you hurtling over the edge! He follows you downward, advancing on you in midair as you plummet toward the dining room below!
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derm Hell-binderOccupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Continuing to clean up after himself.
Inventory:
Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring|
Mutie (Commanding) |
Sword |
Armor |
Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds:
Heavy Burns |
Brittle Skull |
Missing Right Arm |
Missing Leg x2 |
Light Bleeding x2 |
FaintAbilities:
Gift of the Magi (...) |
Squishy Wizard |
Summoner (...) |
Tentacle Arm |
Water Blast |
Superheat |
Tectonic Shift |
Lightning Rod |
Bonesalve The Savior of Mending |
Two Left Feet
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frelock Von-HeisenbergOccupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: TEAM-KILLING FAGTARD n00b DWARF
Inventory:
Gold Coin |
Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch |
Map of Westport |
Long Sword |
Armor |
Spring Shoes | Derm's Leg
Wounds:
No Liver |
Missing Arm |
Missing HeadAbilities:
Smooth Criminal |
Accident Waiting to Happen |
Befuddlement |
Legsplosion |
Greater Legsplosion |
Armsplosion |
Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name:
EdgarOccupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Falling, bleeding, etc.
Inventory:
Sleeveless Long Coat |
Grappling Hook |
Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow |
Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Scrying Orb |
Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding) |
Living Peg-Leg (Parasitically Leeching Life Force From)Wounds:
Right Forearm Missing |
Left Arm Missing |
Missing Leg x2 |
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Booze Power |
Terraphobia |
Side-quest Radar |
Possessed
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
HighEndNoobOccupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Kind of freaked out by Urist.
Inventory: Robe |
Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x9 |
Sword |
Tattered Shirt |
Leaf Barrel |
Map of BistökmafolWounds:
Missing Tooth |
Twisted AnkleAbilities:
Immaculate Aim |
Clumsy Fighter |
'Splode On Impact |
Best Death EVAR |
Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
Urist AnvilsmasherOccupation: Soapmaker
DescriptionLocation: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Stowing carcass bits.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 |
Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap |
Bamboo Pegarm |
Stone Arm |
Ozurlidod | Crundle Pelt
Wounds:
Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe |
Heavy Bruising |
Missing Tooth x2 |
Black Eye |
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Dabbling Surgeon (...) |
Meager Social Ability |
Martial Trance |
Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name:
MutieDescription: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities:
Venomous Bite
Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The BorealisCondition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress