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[Brainee1]

Alright, managed to make it through the archive binge in just under 12 hours... although I kinda ignored the meta world after the first 3/4 >_>
I'd like to sign up for a position, although by the looks of things these positions aren't opening up any time soon...

I'd also like to put out the general suggestion that, at the rate you guys succeed, you really ought to be performing the exact opposite of what you want, and hoping for a 1.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meta name: Brainee1
Meta profession: USA Civil War Re-enactor

Hover over

Fantasy name: NONEXITIALIS
Fantasy profession: Unlucky

There's gotta be a rule against using so many acronym tags. I guess I should go look that up.


Copy/Paste-Friendly version below:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meta name: Brainee1
Meta profession: USA Civil War Re-enactor

Fantasy name: NONEXITIALIS
Fantasy profession: Unlucky

EDIT: Well I'll be. I'm the first post on page 100. Aren't I special?

[monk12]

Whoo 100 pages!

[Dermonster]

Woooot

[RedWarrior0]

Whoo 100 pages!

I have no idea what you're talking about. Yes, this thread still has seventy pages to go before it reaches the one hundred milestone.

Also note that the past few pages have been interspersed with prodding Gat to HURRY UP *cough*

<.<
>.>

[Beardless]

Page 100?!? ...so it is. Damn, I'm never going to catch up at this rate. The Index is only up to turn 45.

[Dermonster]

The index?

[EmeraldWind]

I think he's talking about the:
"Pages: 1 ... 41 42 43 44 45 ... 100" thing.

He's basically saying, "Man, I'll never catch up I'm not even halfway through yet."

Edit: Actually, maybe not... he said turn 45, not page 45. I was mistaken here. Hmmm. I too am curious as to what "The Index" is. But my new theory is it is ANOTHER GAME! Dun dun dun...
Clue 1: "The Index" is capitalized.
Clue 2: Catch up and turn count imply a competition.
My powers of deduction are never wrong... sometimes.

BTW:
When MC shot at the future party members, could you imagine what would have happened if it successfully(?) hit one of your future selves?
It would suck for whoever gets hit, because it would be predetermined that they are hit by an earlier dodge roll. But then again, you guys are resourceful enough to be able to turn such an inconvenience into a boon somehow.

[RedWarrior0]

At risk of explaining the joke: post per page settings.

[Gatleos]

Does Derm have any wounds that aren't self-inflicted in some way?

**********~
Turn 121
**********~

META TURN:

Well... uh... okay then.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Elevator Room

Actions

RW: Throw mini-mecha spider at mechanical enemies.
Mini MS: Start tearing up their insides and upgrade yourself.
MC: Drag other guy back through the portal.

(...) You toss the micro mecha-spider at one of the spacesuit-wearing combatants, causing him/her to stumble backward through the future portal!
(...) Arriving in the future, MMS jumps off the human and onto the robot at the other end of the portal! (...) The robot fails to deflect MMS and he burrows inside of it, tearing apart its circuitry! Space-time interference causes your helmet to lose contact with MMS shortly after this.
(...) Your garbled message fails to reach MC, and he fails to carry out your command.

Meta: Get out of the stuff pile.
Cleanzor: Continue his mission

(...) You crawl out from underneath the heavy shelf and collapse on the floor.
(...) Cleanz0r finds some disinfectant and a few brushes. He stores them in his cargo chamber.

RW: Watch.

(...) You watch the fight SO INTENSELY that you begin to see beyond it. You spontaneously gain X-Ray vision!

Meta: Head to the main deck again.

(...) You consider failing to push the button due to your failed roll, but decide that's retarded and head to the main deck. As the elevator doors open, you hear the pedestal in the lobby beeping.

Meta: Fire my plasma rifle in the opposite direction, in order to propel myself back to the ship

(...) You fire your rifle, propelling yourself at high speed through the closing portal! You fly out the other end, slamming into one of the spacesuit-wearing combatants and knocking them through the portal!

The remaining mechanoid looks around, shrugs, and jumps through the portal after the others. The past portal closes forever!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Inadvertently attacking someone from the future. Again.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Keen Helmet | Pencil x4 | Coffee Mug | Sonic Cannon | Marshall C. Coburn (commanding) | Micro Mecha Spider (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Elevator
Currently: Entering the main deck.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm | Thermometer
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Catching his breath.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal | Mirror Suit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis | Legendary Record Keeper
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Laying on the floor.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask | Bucket | Cleanz0r (commanding)
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: What do you mean, it's not awesome?
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit | Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | X-Ray Vision
Name: Cleanz0r
Description: A bulky cleaning robot who takes orders from Kyle.
Inventory: Disinfectant | Cleaning Brush x3
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Marsh Land

Actions

FW: Leg summon X2 combo!
Mutie: Bring me my still-in-existence-leg.

(...) Using your advanced summoning abilities, you create a portal to the life plane centered at the base of your former leg. Instead of the intended replacement leg, several dozen snakes spew forth from the portal! Several of the larger ones wrap themselves around you to hold you in place, and the rest start slithering toward you and Frelock! (...) One of the venomous snakes bites at your neck, but you twist out of the way just enough to only catch a grazing blow from the fangs! The snake hisses and continues to slither toward you, several others following it! The constrictors squeeze tightly around you!
(...) Mutie rolls around looking for your leg, but can't seem to find it.

Fantasy: Jump down, musket in hand, and shoot anything that attacks our party members.

(...) You leap over the edge of the walkway and elbow drop a reptile man's head through a table! His skull shatters like an egg! Unfortunately, you twist your ankle upon landing. The other reptile man backs up, stunned for a moment.

"*Hissssssss* Attack!"
"SKRRRRRREEEEEEEEK"

A half dozen Crundles leap out from the darkness and start charging toward you!

FW: Attempt to reason "Shoot them, HEN! Stay up there and shoot them!"

Become enraged at the memory of losing my cat, and annihilate the reptile men.

(...) You raise your axe above your head, ready to strike, but HEN leaps off the walkway and knocks you out of the way! You fall on your back, and a Crundle leaps on top of you!

Fantasy: Get up and go to the dining room.  Proceed with righteous fury.

(...) You get up and look into the dining room. No way, it's dangerous in there!

Fantasy: Out the window!

(...) The door suddenly bursts inward as the hinges snap off and clatter to the floor! You evade the intruders by leaping head-first through the narrow window in front of you! You plummet toward the courtyard below, and - you are laying on the floor in the hallway outside the dining room.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Struggling to breathe.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor | Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Brittle Skull | Missing Right Arm | Missing Leg x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding | Light Bleeding | Faint
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Wussing out.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Derm's Leg
Wounds: No Liver | Missing Arm
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Re-materializing.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Scrying Orb | Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding) | Living Peg-Leg (Parasitically Leeching Life Force From)
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Missing Leg x2
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar | Possessed | Faint
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Leaping first.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x13 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel | Key x1 | Map of Bistökmafol
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Twisted Ankle
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR | Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Facing the Crundle swarm.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe | Heavy Bruising | Missing Tooth x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name: Mutie
Description: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

Wait... Wait... Wait... MC is gone now?

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

RW: Gain new ability.
MC (+MMC): plz come back ;.;

FW: Tame snakes.
Mutie: Grab snakes off me.
Rats: Attack snakes if still hostile. Otherwise bring me my leg.

Also: GUYS I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE.

[Frelock]

Meta: Investigate beeping

Fantasy: Check: are snakes guilty?  If so, prepare them for the grill (fillets).  If not, then go on to the lizardmen and crundles and prepare them for HELL!

[EmeraldWind]

 
Well, I guess we now know why MC wasn't with the future yous.
He quite apparently disappeared from their party and ended up with their(your?) future selves in much the same way.

Don't worry, he'll be back when you catch up to yourselves. You're taking the long path, MC just took a shortcut. Hey, maybe if you are lucky future Derrick might be able to upgrade him. Just be sure to continue collecting supplies for that. Now all you have to do is wait until  you guys time travel back to 5 minutes ago (though it will most likely be more than 5 minutes ago by then).

Edit: You know for a cute and cuddly Abomination, Mutie lacks the typical things you'd expect. You should teach him to use a "you can't grasp the form of this attack" attack. Or better yet, teach him to do the Puss in Boots thing were he either wins you over with his cuteness or breaks your mind with his Eldritch nature Abominable appearance cuteness.

[Theifofdreams]

Should really post a character sheet, just in case...

Meta:
Name: Alexander
Occupation: Bookworm
Description/Personality: Introverted, insane, and probably smarter then you. (And pretty goddamn smug about it.)

RTD:
Name: Alistair
Occupation: Natchian cultist
Description/Personality: A Natchian with a goatee. After that, what else do you want to ask?

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Stand around, testing my x-ray vision.
FW: Crundle... will it blend?

[monk12]

Meta: Beeping ahoy!

Fantasy: Enter dining room