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[Frelock]

Fantasy: Follow piratical instincts.

Why are you making someone walk the plank?

[monk12]

Fantasy: Follow piratical instincts.

Why are you making someone walk the plank?

Isn't that exactly what you are doing?

Besides, if I fail at this it is likely to have better more hilarious consequences than if I just said Get Drunk

[Gatleos]

Fantasy: Follow piratical instincts.

Why are you making someone walk the plank?

Isn't that exactly what you are doing?

Besides, if I fail at this it is likely to have better more hilarious consequences than if I just said Get Drunk

RTD Rule #1: Always choose that action which, upon failing, produces the most hilarious result while still achieving your goal upon success.

[monk12]

So... do we get an update? Pretty please?

[Gatleos]

My computer crapped out and I lost progress on it.

I'll have it soon.

[Gatleos]

Guess who rolled double sixes? Monk. Guess who used Tweak The Odds on the same turn? Frelock. Guess who was listening to loud techno music while writing Monk's turn and may have gotten overzealous with the result of his 6 + 1 action? ME.

**********~
Turn 32
**********~

META TURN:
The main deck is open for exploration!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Sanctuary

Actions

RW: Hit back, Open important looking ship record files, in chronological order. Open bitmap images.

(...) First, you decide to open the .bmp image.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You search for important-looking files, but they all have dates for names. So you open two random files, as well as the last one.

Code: [Select]

8-27-2204.txt

Ship Record for the S.S. Periclase, August 27, 2204
Enemy ship destroyed latest supply freighter in mid-flight,
requesting additional provisions from command.

#END OF DOCUMENT


Code: [Select]

12-07-2206.txt

Ship Record for the S.S. Periclase, December 07, 2206
Machine hive located in Lacaille system. This is the furthest machine hive
from earth discovered to date. Requesting backup to Lacaille System.

#END OF DOCUMENT


Code: [Select]

5-23-2206.txt

Ship Record for the S.S. Periclase, December 07, 2206
This may be the last record of the S.S. Periclase. We
have fled the machine horde back to the Sol System.
We have taken heavy damage and several sentinels have
come aboard the ship. This computer network may soon
be assimilated.

#END OF DOCUMENT


Meat: Find a suitable tool to wield as a weapon; Tweak the odds, just cause I can.

(...) You select a mean-looking blowtorch from the wall! Well, you think it's a blowtorch. You squeeze the trigger and a jet of shimmering plasma shoots about a foot out of the end of the pipe! Cool!

Meta: heal divide

(...) You pull out some gauze and clean up John's bleeding. Then you wrap his entire head in gauze to the point that he can't see. Good as new!

Meta: Sector II Storage Pods, take 2!

(...) Your eyes roll into the back of your head, you hold your temples with your hands and you begin violently convulsing!
Monk: STORAAAAGE POOOOODS!!!
The room goes eerily dim for a moment, then all of the storage pods simultaneously shatter! Thousands of shards of broken glass begin swirling around the room, and the floor and ceiling begin to creak and shudder as your apparent telekinesis powers push them outward!

Glass Storm!

• monk12: (...) The glass swirls around you, yet it doesn't come close due to your psychic interference.
• Frelock: (...) A few dozen shards perforate your usable arm and you drop the plasma cutter!

Meta: Observe for any signs on the wall/floor.

(...) You see bandages. And some bandages.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: PERICLASE\Main\Ship Records\2200\5-23-2206.txt
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Mecha-spider (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Bleeding. A lot.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Medical Scalpel
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...)
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Shattering glass with his MIND.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Leg x2
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Healing John.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Floor Buffer | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Broken Nose
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Blind as a bat.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding | Broken Hand
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

They will do as they are told.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Inside The Pirate Ship

Actions

FW: Swim to ship.

(...) You push off of the raft and grab hold of the rope, then scale the side of the ship onto the deck.

Fantasy: Inform the crew that they are, in fact, fishes, and need to get into the water before they suffocate to death!

(...) You tell the crew of their predicament and they begin wheezing and holding their throats! Then they all turn in tandem and leap over the ship railing, plummeting to the water below!

Fantasy: use my height to find a way onto the top of the volcano, than land either softly on the raft or gently into the water.

(...) It's still hundreds of yards away, but you think you can see a winding trail leading up the slope. (...) You slam down on the deck. Close enough.

Fantasy: Follow piratical instincts.

(...) Instinct takes over and you throw your grapple hook at the railing above! Swinging onto the deck, you grab a bottle of booze and chug the whole thing. Then you punch Derm in the face and push him overboard.

Fantasy:Ask everyone what's going on.

(...) You turn to HighEndNoob and ask him.
HighEndNoob: "Hesh buh blah-"
HighEndNoob spits out some blood and a tooth.
HighEndNoob: "We're gonna throw that fancy lookin' guy into that volcano."
He points to the nearby island.
Urist: "Sounds good teh' me!"

Snap out of it!
(...) Suddenly, the crew resurfaces and begins wheezing and struggling in the water! Looks like they snapped out of it.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Swimming.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Black Eye
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Ordering the navy.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Sack o' Gold | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Getting way too drunk just drunk enough.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Armor
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Spitting blood.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x20 | Sword
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Ankle
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soap Maker
Description
Currently: Laying on the Navy vessel's deck.
Inventory: Pig Tail Fiber Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe
Wounds: None
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor

[Dermonster]

RW: Back, back, Dir: Weapons Department.

FW: Climb back on board. Suck navy under the sea.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: try to heal divides's hand

Fantasy: if on ship find some more things to throw, if not get on ship.

[monk12]

Meta: Master control of newfound psychic abilities. Then float slightly.

Fantasy: ...

Is there any enemies left on the ship? How far off is the island?

Suck navy under the sea.

Oh this will end well.

[Dermonster]

 

[Gatleos]

Is there any enemies left on the ship? How far off is the island?

There could very well be a guy with a big knife getting ready to jump out and slash your throat as soon as you open the cabin door. And the island is exactly as far away as it was when the ship sank. You're 2/3 of the way there.

That reminds me:

[Dermonster]

MG: Recall general layout of castle in ASCII

[Frelock]

Meta: Carry plasma gun back to medibay, with my teeth if I have to.  Get arm healed.

Fantasy: Sail away with my friends, leave the navy boys behind.

[Gatleos]

Holy crap, we already have 4/5 actions!

[Dermonster]

Your thread is Just that good.