So, a while back, I set a soft intention to come out to my parents as trans/genderqueer on my next birthday. I'm officially a year older today, and I made some plans to spend time with my Mom and Step-Dad this afternoon. We don't get a lot of time together, let alone without the rest of the family around, so it could be the best opportunity I get for a while. I have a few ideas for ways to explain my whole situation to them, but I'm still nervous about the conversation and whether it's the time for it, to the point that I can't sleep.
Ever since I was a kid, they got the sense I was queer somehow, but apart from asking if I was gay many times over the years, we never talked about it. I didn't really get what was going with me until fairly recently, either. Out of my 3 parents, and among all the older generations of my family, my Mom and Step-Dad are probably two of the most likely to understand, or at least to try. Still, they have just about zero familiarity with LGBT stuff, and still don't really get the differences between Gender and Sex. Also, I've been working hard to rebuild the strained relationship I have with my pretty traditional and conservative Step-Dad; I love him, and I'm terrified this is going to mess up our current relationship, such as it is. There's also the fact that, as soon as I tell my Mom, it's likely to make it around to the rest of the family pretty soon; that's just how she is. That means possibly having to explain my situation to the fundies and way more conservative parts of the family at my cousin's wedding next week, if not soon thereafter.
I'm having second thoughts, but having that talk is still really important to me. I don't want to wait too long either; my Mom's health hasn't been great lately, and I've already lost several of the other ladies in my family who were important in shaping who I am today. It's important to me that we have that conversation while we can. As anxious as I am to have that talk, I really want to help her understand that part of who her kid is... I just wish it was easier, or I didn't feel so terrified of this complicating our relationship, or making me more of the black sheep of our family than I already am.
THE KRAKEN!
Don't tease the Octopus, kids.