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[Nighthawk]

Threw myself off a cliff trying to reach a secret area. Four times.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

On a side note, I find it hilarious that after you kill yourself via fall damage you happily warp back to the latest waypoint and receive a light scolding from one of your party members. Because "Ow! Watch where you're going next time!" is surely a logical response to the main character hurling himself and his party members to their painful end.

[Greiger]

While gathering up bits of parts and exploring space I came across an abandoned arcade.  It had one game in it.  I played it and was transported to a world of Fish and air hockey.

I want back in time to meet a squidheaded shrine maiden fish girl.  Clearly it's one of the harem games.  After sneaking up on her, criticizing her art and teaching her a song about a bear with a house foreclosed, I was sent back to present day.   Clearly I failed since I didn't get to do anything involving fishy naughty bits.

Beautiful Attempt! Sakura Shrine Maiden Hearts+
Starbound

[EnigmaticHat]

You should have rolled with her.  Fish can roll.

[IronTomato]

You have been paralyzed.

You feel somewhat irritated.

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

And this is why Altmer are the best race.

I've never heard of them.

[Culise]

You have been paralyzed.

You feel somewhat irritated.

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

And this is why Altmer are the best race.

I've never heard of them.

Not sure if it's sarcasm or serious given their prominence in the most recent main-line game in the series, but I'll err on the latter.  "Altmer" is the endonym for the race the game calls High Elves, and they happen to be immune to paralysis. 

[Draignean]

Fish can roll.

I see what you did there.

[Akura]

My engines were shot to hell, pretty much all my control surfaces were gone, nearly all my gunners dead, I had at least three fighters spraying bullets at me, I was going down. My only hope of not exploding into hard ground was maybe gliding into water and maybe not exploding there, but that was big maybe.

So what does one of the jackasses shooting at me do? Rams me. Killing himself in the process.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

War Thunder. And I don't think ram kills count as a kill, just mutual suicide.

[IronTomato]

You have been paralyzed.

You feel somewhat irritated.

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

And this is why Altmer are the best race.

I've never heard of them.

Not sure if it's sarcasm or serious given their prominence in the most recent main-line game in the series, but I'll err on the latter.  "Altmer" is the endonym for the race the game calls High Elves, and they happen to be immune to paralysis.

Twas inteded as a reference to the "Have you heard of the high elves?" which is one of the many Oblivion dialogue maymays.

[SOLDIER First]

Hacck. Broooom. hurgh

[Akura]

Shot in the face by a Marder III.

I should note that the Marder is a Tier-2 tank, and I was using only Tier-1 tanks. However, Arcade Battle uses equipped tanks' Battle Rating for matchmaking, not tier. My lineup was all 1.3's and the Marder is 2.7, but I had a damaged M8(BR is 2.0) in repair queue, so... shot in the face by a Marder III.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

War Thunder

[Man of Paper]

Started a game, got married, had sex, and died.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Crusader Kings 2

[Jopax]

My ping decided to become uncooperative in the final Izaro stage in Merciless lab. It's a die and you're out kind of instanced dungeon, so far I've gotten to the final stage three times this evening, every time my ping spikes to over 1k only in that last fucking fight and I inevitably die to one of his many abilities :V

(Path of Exile)

[Greiger]

Learned a valuable lesson.  You may basically be a technological god compared to everyone in the galaxy, with everyone but the fallen empire's tech level being listed as inferior, and some pathetic.  It does not mean shit if you don't have fleet capacity.

I learned this lesson hard when I decided to prevent an opponent's fleet from taking one of my planets by blockading the hyperlane leading to it before the transports could get there.  Only to encounter my opponent's ally's fleet that was 4x my fleet's strength.  Gamma lazers, ion disruptors, zero point power, advanced shields and battleships won't save you from about a million corvettes and destroyers with blue lazers and deflectors it seems.

P.S. I had an ally too, but their fleet strength was even lower than mine, technologically inferior to me, and had to fly through all of my space before even reaching the front line.

Stellaris.

[StagnantSoul]

Ignored Greece after the french came to fight me, leaving just a small group of pure artillery and mechanized infantry at the grecian border...

Hearts of Iron 4, playing communist Italia.

[Imic]

I was going to a brigand camp to tesque someone's kids that had been kidnapped to make him work for said bandits, but I was severely under level for the area, so I died three times before I even reached the place they were being kept in. So, I went off to do a heap of quests in the villages east of Bree, went off hubting in the midgewater marshes, killed enough boars to piss of PETA forever, andfinally, finally got an extra level, and good enough equipment to show it. I went back to the Bandit encampment, ready to kill some nasties, and my helmet, shield, and axe all broke halfway through the quest.
R.I.P

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lotro