The thing about religion is, it's not a democracy.
If using condoms is wrong, it's wrong. no matter how unpopular or disease spreading the results.
Selecting a religion because they allow the behavior you like, and don't allow the ones you dislike is so ... dumb.
Truth is the Truth even if no one knows it, A religions popularity has NOTHING to do with it being correct or not.
Religion shouldn't ideally be a democracy, but that's always how it works out. If everyone in a religion decides that gay marriage is right, what's that religion going to do but change to accept it? Religions have changed with the times and they always will.
This is why Catholicism as a religion and Catholicism as an institution clash. The Vatican tries to uphold what the religion should ideally be (unchanging dogma), but the practicing Catholics all over the world show what a religion actually is. If all the Catholics think birth control is fine, the "official" rule against it is just going to get ignored until it gets changed. We're in the process of that happening now.
There are some who would argue, though, that a religion shouldn't be an unchanging dogma. I'm not a theologian so I don't really know much about this argument, but I think education in the eastern religions tends to result in this viewpoint. There's something weird about eastern religions.
The Catholic church repeatedly finds itself under pressure from its more progressive followers to do things like condone condom use to help prevent AIDS.
There are tons of Catholics who disagree with the Vatican, and it's silly to think that they don't have any influence. They might not vote, but there are other ways.
I'm sure it finds itself under pressure. What I'm not convinced of is that they feel any need to change when they still have so many apparent followers (or whether vague pressure is a suitable way of dealing with an organization prepared to sweep child abuse under the rug in order to protect its public image). But I guess we'll have to disagree there.
The way I see it, there are three kinds of issues:
1. Religious teachings that affect the real world, like gay marriage or birth control. The popular opinion on these gets changed, and the rules have to get changed soon afterwards or people will just start ignoring the church. It needs to change or its opinions get viewed as irrelevant.
2. Religious teachings that don't affect the real world, like transubstantiation. The popular opinion on these gets changed but nobody really cares because the truth is that it doesn't really matter what the bread and wine turn into. Nobody actually gets affected by that.
3. Church crimes, like child abuse. Catholics really see these as irrelevant to their faith because they just dismiss the perpetrators as "not real catholics". This is shitty, but it's really 100% Catholicism as an institution and not as a religion. If your priests molest little boys, that doesn't suddenly make their teachings wrong. It just means you need to get new priests.
I won't deny that there's a bit too much forgiveness towards abusive priests, as well as a bit of a persecution complex with Catholics who just think the whole thing is an attempt to smear their religion. This isn't entirely unfounded, though. Listen to some Southern Baptists talk about Catholics and you'll probably hear the dumbest arguments against a religion that anyone could make.