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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1557144 times)

nightdagger

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2445 on: November 05, 2011, 04:14:23 am »
Dear Urist McScaredypants,

While I understand that it can be quite terrifying to have one swoop down on you from the sky unexpectedly, I assure you that geese are completely harmless and will not hurt you while you're trying to construct the water wheel needed to ensure that our dining room doesn't get flooded by the mist generator.

Get back to work.

Regards,
-Nightdagger
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Iton Ibrukrithzam

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2446 on: November 05, 2011, 05:23:55 am »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 04, 2011, 07:14:13 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on November 04, 2011, 05:30:10 pm
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 04, 2011, 05:07:03 pm
Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Thank you.

With Magma,
Necro910

Dear Necro,


Magma only goes so far.


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

It is true that magma only goes so far.  Luckily for us, how far it goes is ALL THE WAY, plus several tiles, usually.

Signed,
Iton



Dear Urist McPicky,

Eat the buzzard.  I know it's probably not the best meat ever, but we're out of elf meat until the next elf christmas.  No, you may not eat the crops, those are for booze.

Signed,
Your Wicked Overseer.
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Iton Ibrukrithzam enjoys mahogany, diorite, jade, and native gold.  He enjoys giant tigers for their predatory nature, foxes for their many tails, and boobs for their fine shape.  He is absolutely disgusted by spiders.  When possible, he prefers to consume pizza, soda, and goldschlager.

Deus Machina

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2447 on: November 05, 2011, 11:20:44 am »
Dear resident gremlin of Dashbooks,
  I was going to try to capture you for my own financial gain, but the announcement of your arrival came in the form of a shout as one of our armorers saw you just in time for you to shove him down the 58 z-level ore delivery chute.
  Now I'm going to attempt to capture you so I can figure out the slowest way to kill you.

-The overseer, handing out weapons himself.
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Beneath the slade, there is sheep. By all that his holy, there are so many sheep down there. I don't know why it's sheep.

Theifofdreams

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2448 on: November 05, 2011, 10:06:31 pm »
Dear Urist McUnintentionalSacrifice.
Yes, all glory to Grandfather Nurgle, but there's a reason that noone is allowed in that room except the normal sacrifices.
It hasn't even been a year, yet.
Oh well, the FBS is still incredibly potent, and Nurgle will have a pleasant surprise.

Your chaos-worshipping overseer.
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zehive

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2449 on: November 05, 2011, 11:56:59 pm »
i always burned my math homework when i got it back. magma could do that also.
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2450 on: November 06, 2011, 04:35:09 pm »
Dear everybody;

How did you manage to get one attack from a black demon directed at a single military dwarf infect 80 of you, resulting in 100% covering of bruises and suffocation.

Special mention to: The Baron; You have everything turned off. How did your 18 children who accompany you around become part of the casualty number?

Yours, laughing overseer.
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Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2451 on: November 06, 2011, 04:54:12 pm »
Dear Urist McPeoples,

You see that horse right there that sets everything on fire? DON'T GO NEAR IT.

The overseer.
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Quote from: Wannazzaki on December 23, 2011, 07:39:30 pm
Ho Ho Ho! I'm going to be sticking economic stone so far up your stockings, you'll be coughing up gemstone windows!
Quote
You see, when the devil comes on to your forums and begins dropping F bombs and shouts 'GIVE ALL YOUR WOMEN!', he's in a happy mood.
Quote
if there's lots of g's and z's, it's gobbo. If you don't really recognize it, it's human. if it's called Urist, it's dwarf.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2452 on: November 06, 2011, 07:06:23 pm »
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 04:54:12 pm
Dear Urist McPeoples,

You see that horse right there that sets everything on fire? DON'T GO NEAR IT.

The overseer.

Dear Urist McPeoples

Here are some strawberries. You see that horse that sets everything on fire? Feed it.

~Sincerely, kind noble.
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Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2453 on: November 06, 2011, 07:25:09 pm »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:06:23 pm
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 04:54:12 pm
Dear Urist McPeoples,

You see that horse right there that sets everything on fire? DON'T GO NEAR IT.

The overseer.

Dear Urist McPeoples

Here are some strawberries. You see that horse that sets everything on fire? Feed it.

~Sincerely, kind noble.

Dear Kind Noble,

The horse is ON. FUCKING. FIRE. There's way in Armok I'm going near it.

Urist McPerson
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Quote from: Wannazzaki on December 23, 2011, 07:39:30 pm
Ho Ho Ho! I'm going to be sticking economic stone so far up your stockings, you'll be coughing up gemstone windows!
Quote
You see, when the devil comes on to your forums and begins dropping F bombs and shouts 'GIVE ALL YOUR WOMEN!', he's in a happy mood.
Quote
if there's lots of g's and z's, it's gobbo. If you don't really recognize it, it's human. if it's called Urist, it's dwarf.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2454 on: November 06, 2011, 07:29:25 pm »
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 07:25:09 pm
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:06:23 pm
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 04:54:12 pm
Dear Urist McPeoples,

You see that horse right there that sets everything on fire? DON'T GO NEAR IT.

The overseer.

Dear Urist McPeoples

Here are some strawberries. You see that horse that sets everything on fire? Feed it.

~Sincerely, kind noble.

Dear Kind Noble,

The horse is ON. FUCKING. FIRE. There's way in Armok I'm going near it.

Urist McPerson

Dear Urist McPerson,

I mandate you make me 9001 adamantine socks engraved with slade by yesterday.

YO MAD?
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Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2455 on: November 06, 2011, 07:36:49 pm »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:29:25 pm
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 07:25:09 pm
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 06, 2011, 07:06:23 pm
Quote from: Hitty40 on November 06, 2011, 04:54:12 pm
Dear Urist McPeoples,

You see that horse right there that sets everything on fire? DON'T GO NEAR IT.

The overseer.

Dear Urist McPeoples

Here are some strawberries. You see that horse that sets everything on fire? Feed it.

~Sincerely, kind noble.

Dear Kind Noble,

The horse is ON. FUCKING. FIRE. There's way in Armok I'm going near it.

Urist McPerson

Dear Urist McPerson,

I mandate you make me 9001 adamantine socks engraved with slade by yesterday.

YO MAD?

Dear YO MAD?,

Your 9001 adamantine socks were finished last month...

Urist McPerson
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Quote from: Wannazzaki on December 23, 2011, 07:39:30 pm
Ho Ho Ho! I'm going to be sticking economic stone so far up your stockings, you'll be coughing up gemstone windows!
Quote
You see, when the devil comes on to your forums and begins dropping F bombs and shouts 'GIVE ALL YOUR WOMEN!', he's in a happy mood.
Quote
if there's lots of g's and z's, it's gobbo. If you don't really recognize it, it's human. if it's called Urist, it's dwarf.

Monk321654

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2456 on: November 06, 2011, 07:39:03 pm »
Dear Mountain Home:

Send me some bloody forge workers, I have Iron Ore EVERYWHERE!

Sincerely, this random little fortress.
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Quote from: GoombaGeek on August 07, 2012, 11:46:09 pm
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Tiruin

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2457 on: November 06, 2011, 08:28:17 pm »
Quote from: Monk321654 on November 06, 2011, 07:39:03 pm
Dear Mountain Home:

Send me some bloody forge workers, I have Iron Ore EVERYWHERE!

Sincerely, this random little fortress.

Dear Overseer,

We're using them all. Use the other soap workers we send.

Sincerely, Urist McUrist
Merchant & Migration services
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Gizogin

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2458 on: November 06, 2011, 08:58:04 pm »
Dear Urist McGeneralPopulace,

When a roaming group of dragonling merchants decide to set a significant portion of the land surrounding the fortress on fire, it would probably be a good idea to NOT WALK THROUGH IT.  Nor would it be anything resembling intelligent to haul all the cloth from our trading with said merchants THROUGH SAID FIRE, and then take the flaming cloth DIRECTLY INTO THE FOOD STOCKPILES.  THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.  THE CLOTH STOCKPILES ARE IN THE OPPOSITE END OF THE FORTRESS.

YOUR OVERSEER,
GIZOGIN McMYRAGEISSUCHTHATONLYCAPSCANADEQUATELYEXPRESSIT
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"Let's expose our military to zombie-dust so they can't feel pain. They don't NEED skin."
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One FB post. Many dick jokes. Pokemon. !!VOLCANO!!. Dwarven mood thingee. Derailment itself. Girlinhat's hat. Cuba. Karl Marx. This is why i love Bay12 forums.
The rest of my sig.
Fear the fluffballs

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2459 on: November 06, 2011, 09:00:49 pm »
Dear Dwarf Fortress.

I JUST RAGE QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

AND IT FELT SO shit.
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