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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1500738 times)

Sutremaine

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2430 on: November 03, 2011, 09:49:40 am »

Thanks! I even started preparing similar tool!
Hmm, how were you getting the dwarf info? DGC is nice, but having to export through Runesmith each time is a minor annoyance.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2431 on: November 03, 2011, 05:33:23 pm »

Dear Urist McSoapMaker, leader of SoapTreasures,

I know, I know: you are out of tallow even after the most recent Elf slaughter. Why can't you just order the guards to kill the 3 nearby elephants already?!

The voice in the sky.
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Ho Ho Ho! I'm going to be sticking economic stone so far up your stockings, you'll be coughing up gemstone windows!
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You see, when the devil comes on to your forums and begins dropping F bombs and shouts 'GIVE ALL YOUR WOMEN!', he's in a happy mood.
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if there's lots of g's and z's, it's gobbo. If you don't really recognize it, it's human. if it's called Urist, it's dwarf.

UristMcHuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2432 on: November 03, 2011, 05:43:20 pm »

Dear Urist McWoodWorker,

Just 'cause I turned off your woodcutting labor DOES NOT mean that you can go and do nothing with your carpentry labour STILL ON when I need WOODEN floors built. GET TO WORK OR I'LL DROWN YOU IN THE AQUIFER.

Sincerely, The Overseer.
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2433 on: November 03, 2011, 05:48:57 pm »

Dear Fortress

I will not panic and save your arses with liberal application of military when you swarm out to claim goblinite when the first of a rather large siege steps on a trap and become a fine mist, i will let you all die one by one and i will laugh at your pathetic screams.

Yours, a very frustrated Overseer.
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Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

Tevish Szat

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2434 on: November 03, 2011, 07:57:12 pm »

Dear Urist McPicky
You are thirsty.  Thankfully for you, I installed a drink stockpile right next to the dining hall.  Unfortunatley, you instead decided to take the psychotic walk to the Brewery & Food Prep Area, at the farms several embark tiles away.
If you die thanks to your insistence on going for whatever particular drink is over there, I will laugh at your corpse.
Sincerely,
Your Overseer

Dear Urist McInteresting
You're a legendary miner and a skilled brewer.  I understand that after hewing most of these mountain halls yourself, you may feel entitled to a little rest, kicking back and training your brewing.
But really, I need a legendary miner right now to help dig out the multi-z-level grand hall, or the chasm to the depths.  I'd like it if you attended to the mining tasks of your own free will, but If I have to bar you from brewing, I will
Signed,
Your Overseer
PS: Your weapon training will start eventually.  Right now, it's low priority.
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2435 on: November 04, 2011, 05:07:03 pm »

Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.

MehMuffin

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2437 on: November 04, 2011, 07:10:37 pm »

Dear 7 odd masons,
4 of you have taken a break in the last month twice. 3 of you are working. But somehow, not one of you has the time to construct my brand new alchemy laboratory. You may notice a few of the workers installing a grate and pipe or two in your rooms. Please let them go about their business. And stay in your rooms.
Sincerely,
The Overseer.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2438 on: November 04, 2011, 07:14:13 pm »

Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Thank you.

With Magma,
Necro910

Dear Necro,


Magma only goes so far.


That is all.

Necro910

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2439 on: November 04, 2011, 07:14:59 pm »

Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Thank you.

With Magma,
Necro910

Dear Necro,


Magma only goes so far.


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Magma. Solves. Everything.

With magma,
Necro910

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2440 on: November 04, 2011, 07:18:40 pm »

Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Thank you.

With Magma,
Necro910

Dear Necro,


Magma only goes so far.


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Magma. Solves. Everything.

With magma,
Necro910

Not math. At least not all of it.

Teneb

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2441 on: November 04, 2011, 07:21:32 pm »

Dear Urist McMiner and friends:

WHY did you think it's a good idea to jump into a waterfall in order to get to the other side?

As a result, once the reclaiming party arrives, your slabs will be placed in the middle of the refuse pile.


- The Management.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
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What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Necro910

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2442 on: November 04, 2011, 07:23:13 pm »

Dear Dwarf Forum.

WTF.


...


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Thank you.

With Magma,
Necro910

Dear Necro,


Magma only goes so far.


That is all.
Dear Loud Whispers,

Magma. Solves. Everything.

With magma,
Necro910

Not math. At least not all of it.
Magma the paper, the thing said paper was supposed to achieve, and magma the assigner of said paper for good measure.

Congratulations, no more math to do  :P

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2443 on: November 04, 2011, 07:25:39 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is math learned, or is it discovered?

Quote from: Bay12
Magma.

Sincerely, Loud Whispers.

krenshala

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2444 on: November 05, 2011, 02:17:56 am »

Meng Zasitled ...

... he was only with us for nine months, and during that time he worked in our small farm and trained with the other recruits in our fledgling militia.  He had a long future ahead of him, assuming he didn't die gloriously in combat sooner rather than later, here in Sakrithalath (Blazedbolts).  However, despite his rapid progress in weapons training, he apparently chose not to learn from the mistake of Zefon Sarveshuzol, your fellow recruit and immigrant from that same early autumn last year, who has just returned to duty after her nose, arm and leg were broken in her 3 z-level fall.

To the rest of you recruits, I have asked your commander, Kogsak Desissigun, to reduce the size of the sparring area in the hopes that we won't have a third militia member take it into their heads to dodge away from a training spear and into the well.  Mind you, since we are installing a drainage tank in order to retrieve the valuable equipment Meng is no longer using -- oh, and his corpse, yes -- I am tempted to leave the area at its current designation to see if you can swim long enough for one of your lazy compatriots to reach the appropriate lever if any of you decide to be the third person to dodge into the well.

Squadron; dismissed!

... I should have stayed in the mountainhome.
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"
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