Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Wimdit]

Barricade any entrances, and wait until your mind is less screwed up. Preferably while eating apple pie. You should probably turn the ovens off as well.

[Cheddarius]

> shoot self with gun in a fit of despair

[Lidhuin]

Why god sir, it would appear we have some water. I do believe it would be a wise course of action to drink it, but before we can do that, we must...

...sing the national anthem!

Then drink some water. Clean that wound too.

[Criptfeind]

Abusing drugs is Unamerican!

Turn off the stove first thing.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

> Turn off oven(s)
> Drink water
> Clean wound. Use cleanest available cloth to bandage arm, such that two fingers fit comfortably between bandage and arm (just like they teach in Boy Scouts!)
> Get food and eat food (preferably a nice juicy hamburger)
> Search backpack
> Refill water bottle with tap water

[NUKE9.13]

tap water

TAP WATER
what are you, a COMNUQUAT?
Tap water is inferior to proper capitalist bottled water!
Tap water! The very idea!

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Is bottled water in the 50s a thing?

Also, good clean American industry leaves our tap water sparkling-fresh. Why, the very thought that anything could be wrong with our delicious AMERICAN tap water is ludicrous!

[Pandarsenic]

Everything said above except for suicide, please.

[IronyOwl]

Name baseball bat Babe Ruthless.

I laughed out loud, loudly, at four in the morning.

Damn you.

[Jackrabbit]

You stumble around and manage to switch off all the ovens. It's simply negligent, what some people do. Having averted a possible UNAMERICAN disaster, you take a quick swig of water, which goes a little way to making you feel better. You then proceed to look around for something to bandage your arm with... nothing apart from what you're wearing, so you tear off a long strip from your apron. Ahhh, damn it, the apron is now unwearable and must be discarded. What would Mr. Johnson say?

Oh wait, that's right. You wash the wound a bit, half emptying your bottle in the process and bandage the wound. It still hurts like anything but at least the thought of infection can be pushed from your mind. Now... pie. Good American apple pie, like your momma used to make. Presumably she still does. A quick search turns up... oh my God! Yes! PIE! YOU'VE FOUND PIE! You set about to cooking it. Looks like it'll take around five minutes before it's piping hot like any proper apple pie. You busy yourself by searching through your backpack. You find some rations (unAmerican rations) and a about five more sticks of ammunition. Also, a small book, but you can't make head or tails of the tight packed writing. Ah well. You empty the water bottle and fill it from the tap. Now it's fit for an American to drink.

The pie is almost done. In a sudden fit of despair, you pull out the Colt 45, place it under your chin and pull the trigger, before holstering it again.

Wounded:
Left arm (deep scratch) (bandaged) (healing)

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (9:09)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican) (book - gibberish)
Water bottle (full)

Wielding - Thompson (both hands) (average)

Mental State:
Oh man I am really hungry right now. Pie.

[Pandarsenic]

Look for a way to AMERICANIZE the rations.

[Criptfeind]

Burn the book, we must keep AMERICA safe from the comyquat propaganda.

[Squeegy]

Look for a way to AMERICANIZE the rations.

Cover rations in apple pie.

[Pandarsenic]

That might just taint the apple pie though, and we can't risk that, plus... well, golly, we sure are hungry, so we should eat the apple pie RIGHT THE HELL NOW.

[Jackrabbit]

Is the apple pie do - OH DEAR GOD HALF THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE. In your drug addled attempts at making a pie you've managed to spill a huge carton of cooking oil all over the stove! The heat is intense and the apple pie unsalvigable. You win this round, Crommunists. You win this round. You take the book from your pocket and throw it into the flames as a means of payback! Ha ha! But it's not enough to dull the sting from your loss. And, damn it, you're really hungry right now. The fire is getting extremely hot, too and the entire situation is made worse by the fact that the door to the alley just dented from the force of whatever the hell is trying to batter its way inside. This is not turning out to be a good day but at least you're not feeling so down anymore.

Wounded:
Left arm (deep scratch) (bandaged) (healing)

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (9:13)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican) (book - gibberish)
Water bottle (full)

Wielding - Thompson (both hands) (average)

Mental State:
Ooooh Jesuuuuuuusssssss