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Author Topic: Ex Cathedra [BMIX]: Sunrise  (Read 96500 times)

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Soon to be completed
« Reply #630 on: August 07, 2010, 12:49:46 pm »

ICs
Spoiler: Sir Dakarian of Pane (click to show/hide)

Villains
Spoiler: Halmie the Wanderer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Siquo the Priest (click to show/hide)

Innocents
Spoiler: Org the Leper (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: HFS the Guardian (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Jaaswb the Gardener (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: SirBayer the Child (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Quinnr the Prince (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Spitfire the Lover (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Rolan the Sage (click to show/hide)

Scum Chat
Dead Chat
« Last Edit: August 07, 2010, 11:42:11 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Soon to be completed
« Reply #631 on: August 07, 2010, 12:50:32 pm »

Day One Prod
Spoiler: Halmie the Wanderer (click to show/hide)

Night One
Spoiler: Rolan7 the Sage (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: HFS the Guardian (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Halmie the Wanderer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: JaaSWb the Gardener (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: SirBayer the Child (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Quinnr the Prince (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Spitfire the Lover (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Siquo the Priest (click to show/hide)

Day Two Prod
Spoiler: HFS the Guardian (click to show/hide)

Night Two
Spoiler: JaaSWb the Gardener (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Quinnr the Prince (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Halmie the Wanderer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Siquo the Priest (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Spitfire the Lover (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: HFS the Guardian (click to show/hide)

Night Three
Spoiler: Solifuge the Gardener (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Quinnr the Prince (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Webadict the Guardian (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 13, 2010, 06:28:23 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Soon to be completed
« Reply #632 on: August 07, 2010, 12:51:15 pm »

Character Notes

Spoiler: Aureliusz Vektor (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Sir Dakarian of Pane (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The Wanderer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Priest (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Leper (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Guardian (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Gardener (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Child (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Prince (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Lover (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: The Sage (click to show/hide)



References and Translations

Spoiler: "The first death" (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: "The wind shifts" (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: "Truth" (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: "Fairy tales" (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 14, 2010, 02:33:59 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Day 3 COMPLETE
« Reply #633 on: August 08, 2010, 12:07:09 am »

All right, guys: quick update before I get back to work.  I finished updating D3's flavor and lynch scene.  If you check the OP under "Links to Flavor," at the bottom of the screen, you can access them more easily.  The new sections are called "Fairy Tales" and "Man of faith."  They're both pretty long.

There's also links to the role PMs, night PMs, and prods.  The night PMs will be updated pretty soon, because I need to finish writing the four dreams from N3 before I can put them up.  I'm feeling inspired, though, so that shouldn't be long  ;D

Anyway, please enjoy.  I think the rest of the writing should be up by Monday at the latest, including picking through to explain all those references in little print at the bottom.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Solifuge

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX, Night Three: The Faithful
« Reply #634 on: August 08, 2010, 03:20:30 am »

My apologies to Jean-Paul Sartre and Nietzsche.  Love you, dudes.  More apologies to Victor Hugo =/  I mean, loads of them.  You must be seriously spinning in your grave right now.  Infinite apologies to the creators of LOST, for I am sure my viewing of that particular program influenced the theme of this conversation.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of the latest Dresden Codak arc:

"I've connected their remains to my Thanatropic Generator, which essentially converts posthumous indignity into clean energy! If sufficiently disgusted, an author's spinning corpse can produce over 400 megajoules per grievance."

Anywho, I think I caught the new flavor bits. The death of the priest was... disturbing, to say the least, but some excellent writing. I guess Mafia is a pretty horrible, horrible game when taken literally.
._.
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Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX, Night Three: The Faithful
« Reply #635 on: August 08, 2010, 11:13:49 am »

Suddenly, I'm reminded of the latest Dresden Codak arc:

"I've connected their remains to my Thanatropic Generator, which essentially converts posthumous indignity into clean energy! If sufficiently disgusted, an author's spinning corpse can produce over 400 megajoules per grievance."

Anywho, I think I caught the new flavor bits. The death of the priest was... disturbing, to say the least, but some excellent writing. I guess Mafia is a pretty horrible, horrible game when taken literally.
._.

Haha, I'm mostly reminded of this one joke I heard about either some mathematician or some author (Gertrude Stein, Newton, or Gauss) "spinning in his/her grave so hard that he/she struck oil."

And, erm... thank you.  I do try so hard to write an interesting story.  The only problem, really, is that I shifted the balance between Pandarsenic and Dakarian based on the scum/town relationship, so by necessity things ended up getting darker and darker in general.  I felt like the priest ended up with a somewhat better ending than the others, though, in that his emotional and physical destruction at the hands of the others was incomplete.  He, at the least, had something left--or, at the very least, Dakarian thought he did  :-\

Hm.  Well, anyway.  The next piece should be interesting.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #636 on: August 14, 2010, 03:11:49 pm »

Thank god, it's done :D
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Siquo

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #637 on: August 14, 2010, 04:41:52 pm »

And How!

Just read it all, and was reminded of how dirty this game made me feel.

Criticisms:

The theme of "Man like other men". Two possibilities:
1. As the men who say this are usually evil, hell, almost every man in the story is evil, and the author is NOT a man, this is obviously feminist propaganda.
2. Gay.

That's all I could think of, for now :)
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

Solifuge

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #638 on: August 14, 2010, 05:47:36 pm »

Good on you for finishing this up, and thanks for sharing your talent with us. It was highly entertaining, and had a surprising level of depth, from what I've come to expect from a forum game. Here are some thoughts:

I'd actually figured Pandar's character was a sort of "Devil" stand in... a tempter and corrupter, in the traditions of Faust/other European Folklore (I could see a Horseman too). I really dug Aureliusz's character as well... he ended up being a nice Foil for the Dakarian/Pandarsenic duo, while they each played off one another's traits as well. I did think his emotional moment felt a bit out of character to me... but I think I'd just come to expect more lightheartedness from him. they were a great way to set up and maintain the "Story within a Story" feel though, which works surprisingly well for Mafia. I do think that the story could have used a more sympathetic scoundrel, though. It was tough to relate to Dakarian and Pandar's characters, since they were basically Paragons of Bipolar Allignment.

Spoiler: Quinnr the Prince (click to show/hide)
The Prince as a Shakespeare reference made me quite happy... I loved how you presented him, too. The phrase "Terminal Logorrhea" is ridiculously full of win, but the whole package is just a great piece of irreverent satire. Highest Kudos. Voltaire would be proud.

I loved the dynamic between the Gardiner and the Priest, and I have to second that I felt... honestly bad about his death, and the deaths of other characters in this game. Some of the scenes were rather unsettling, but definitely in a compelling way. You have succeeded in evoking an emotional response in me, and through a forum game no less. And I pride myself on my stoicism!



Anyway, I'm only now getting a real sense for how much time and craft went into this. You've created a branching, multi-perspective narrative, using the actions of a series of players to drive the story along. Your writing is rife with literary allusions both silly and serious, parody and satire, life philosophy, and generally skillful storytelling. It's like Dave Arneson, Socrates, and Geoffrey Chaucer got together in a coffee shop, and wrote a collaborative story-telling game meant to explore the nature of ethics, knowledge, and human behavior through a group of colorful medieval characters stuck in a European monastery. It's just the sort of mix that I look for in some of my favorite authors.

This isn't just flippant praise either; you have an honest-to-goodness talent for this, especially given that you work within the constraints of a narrative driven by other people, and yet are able to craft a compelling story. You'd make a world-class Game Master, I wager... moreover a damned fine author, given the right story ideas. So, what's your Major again? :P

I can tell that this must have taken a good investment of time and effort to make, in its entirety, but it was highly enjoyable. Thanks very much for running this, Vector, and please keep writing... and if you ever run a Tabletop RPG or something, please let me know!
« Last Edit: August 14, 2010, 05:49:22 pm by Solifuge »
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Pandarsenic

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #639 on: August 14, 2010, 06:38:50 pm »

*Claps for epic flavor*

I absolutely agree with everything Solifuge said.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #640 on: August 14, 2010, 09:21:31 pm »

And How!

Just read it all, and was reminded of how dirty this game made me feel.

Heh!  I guess I did my job, then >:3

The theme of "Man like other men". Two possibilities:
1. As the men who say this are usually evil, hell, almost every man in the story is evil, and the author is NOT a man, this is obviously feminist propaganda.
2. Gay.

... Hahaha.  To address your first point, I actually thought a bit about the distinct lack of women in this mess.  Then I ended up with a mental image of a bunch of guys and a couple of women starving to death in a cathedral and trying to kill each other (+ goodness knows what else), and I said "Hmm, that might be a bit too intense for the first time I try this.  I'd better get back to torturing this little kid."

I also wanted to make sure that the characters were all at least marginally relatable to whoever would be playing them.  Given the demographic and what happened last time we had guys playing female characters around here, I figured I'd just stick with the dudes this time around and say "to hell with feminism.  Next time."




I'd actually figured Pandar's character was a sort of "Devil" stand in... a tempter and corrupter, in the traditions of Faust/other European Folklore (I could see a Horseman too). I really dug Aureliusz's character as well... he ended up being a nice Foil for the Dakarian/Pandarsenic duo, while they each played off one another's traits as well. I did think his emotional moment felt a bit out of character to me... but I think I'd just come to expect more lightheartedness from him. they were a great way to set up and maintain the "Story within a Story" feel though, which works surprisingly well for Mafia. I do think that the story could have used a more sympathetic scoundrel, though. It was tough to relate to Dakarian and Pandar's characters, since they were basically Paragons of Bipolar Alignment.

Yeah, I kind of worried about the end flowing--mostly because I wrote the very last section before working on the two before it.  I'm actually really surprised by the way the finale ended up tying itself together, with its "introductions" and explanations that turned into three men playing a sort of verbal mafia game.  The echo of "I am a man, like other men" and its different implications also ended up being fun, as well as Aureliusz Vektor's passes over different rooms in the halls of memory.

For the record, I think they were all good men, like other men--men of faith and men of science, old men and young, curious and down to earth, angry and sarcastic, gentle and wise.


In the beginning, I ended up with the framed narrative in hopes of distancing the players from the action a bit and providing a vehicle for commentary.  It turned into an odd and sprawling thing, particularly because originally there was very little tie-in between the frame story and the mafia game.  Then I noticed how nearly everyone had ended up with some sort of guiding/protecting relationship, and that I was spending a lot of time exploring the different ramifications of that--so I figured I might as well change things up a bit, and give Vektor a more visceral emotional response to SirBayer's death.

I think I agree with you on the rather rocky descent from humor to pathos, though I lucked out in this case with a clean divide between "before Bayer" and "after Bayer."  I definitely agree on the Knights of Bipolar Alignment being difficult to relate to--though in reality, that was part of the point.  I hoped that the reader would start out thinking "Hm, that's an interesting way to see things," move on to "Wow, they really have some interesting things to say," and finish with "STOP SQUABBLING YOU MORONS, IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T MATTER."  Dakarian's interruptions as a mediator ended up easily maneuverable to that end, especially in the second-to-last section.

You can definitely expect some sympathetic scoundrels in the next one I run.  It's going to be spectacular, and the tone should be far more vibrant.




-Compliments-

-More compliments-

Thanks so much, you guys.  You really made my month--and this is not flippant thanks, because it's been a pretty good month already :D  Thanks also for the criticism.  I'd like to publish a novel someday, and every little bit helps.

I hope to see you in the next round, if not as players, then as spectators.  You guys were all absolutely fantastic.  I looked forward to your adventures, sat on the edge of my chair wondering if town or scum would win, and steeled myself to spend yet another night writing what felt like a billion PMs.  I loved the flavor you wrote yourselves, that twinge of pleasure that announced: "Yes, they're into it, they understand these people."  Most of all, your rising to the occasion inspired me to do a better job and put in more effort than I might have otherwise, and I feel the work was vastly improved for it.

See you in another story, brothers =)
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Pandarsenic

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #641 on: August 14, 2010, 09:29:10 pm »

men of science

You just gave me a brilliant idea for a flavor-heavy themed mafia to run after BYOT.

So expect it around this time next year.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Vector

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #642 on: August 14, 2010, 09:43:13 pm »

men of science

You just gave me a brilliant idea for a flavor-heavy themed mafia to run after BYOT.

So expect it around this time next year.

Well, I know what I'm going to get in on :D  I'm looking forward to it.

And come on... BYOT can't possibly take more than a year.  Only 9 months or so.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Pandarsenic

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #643 on: August 15, 2010, 12:25:52 am »

9 months or so.

I'm pregnant with tropes.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Nolor

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Re: Beginner's Mafia IX: Sunrise
« Reply #644 on: August 15, 2010, 04:20:12 am »

I don't usually read mafia games; I much prefer meta-discussion about the games themselves. The analysis of how and why people acted the way they did fascinates me.

This game, however, I read with the intention of familiarizing myself with the participants of Pandarsenic's Trope Mafia, though soon I found myself utterly enrapt in the flavor you've written. The characters and their backstories were of such quality that I read the entire thread in a single sitting. I suspect it's due to the procedural nature of the tale -- from the outset, neither the players nor the writer knew the outcome; the descriptions of the lynchings in particular, while gruesome at times (and necessarily so!) crawled beneath my skin and the imagery they evoke is truly haunting. I rather hope I'll be able to write as well as you do someday, and I eagerly await your next venture.
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