And How!
Just read it all, and was reminded of how dirty this game made me feel.
Heh! I guess I did my job, then >:3
The theme of "Man like other men". Two possibilities:
1. As the men who say this are usually evil, hell, almost every man in the story is evil, and the author is NOT a man, this is obviously feminist propaganda.
2. Gay.
... Hahaha. To address your first point, I actually thought a bit about the distinct lack of women in this mess. Then I ended up with a mental image of a bunch of guys and a couple of women starving to death in a cathedral and trying to kill each other (+ goodness knows what else), and I said "Hmm, that might be a bit too intense for the first time I try this. I'd better get back to torturing this little kid."
I also wanted to make sure that the characters were all at least marginally relatable to whoever would be playing them. Given the demographic and what happened
last time we had guys playing female characters around here, I figured I'd just stick with the dudes this time around and say "to hell with feminism. Next time."
I'd actually figured Pandar's character was a sort of "Devil" stand in... a tempter and corrupter, in the traditions of Faust/other European Folklore (I could see a Horseman too). I really dug Aureliusz's character as well... he ended up being a nice Foil for the Dakarian/Pandarsenic duo, while they each played off one another's traits as well. I did think his emotional moment felt a bit out of character to me... but I think I'd just come to expect more lightheartedness from him. they were a great way to set up and maintain the "Story within a Story" feel though, which works surprisingly well for Mafia. I do think that the story could have used a more sympathetic scoundrel, though. It was tough to relate to Dakarian and Pandar's characters, since they were basically Paragons of Bipolar Alignment.
Yeah, I kind of worried about the end flowing--mostly because I wrote the very last section before working on the two before it. I'm actually really surprised by the way the finale ended up tying itself together, with its "introductions" and explanations that turned into three men playing a sort of verbal mafia game. The echo of "I am a man, like other men" and its different implications also ended up being fun, as well as Aureliusz Vektor's passes over different rooms in the halls of memory.
For the record, I think they were all good men, like other men--men of faith and men of science, old men and young, curious and down to earth, angry and sarcastic, gentle and wise.
In the beginning, I ended up with the framed narrative in hopes of distancing the players from the action a bit and providing a vehicle for commentary. It turned into an odd and sprawling thing, particularly because originally there was very little tie-in between the frame story and the mafia game. Then I noticed how nearly everyone had ended up with some sort of guiding/protecting relationship, and that I was spending a lot of time exploring the different ramifications of that--so I figured I might as well change things up a bit, and give Vektor a more visceral emotional response to SirBayer's death.
I think I agree with you on the rather rocky descent from humor to pathos, though I lucked out in this case with a clean divide between "before Bayer" and "after Bayer." I definitely agree on the Knights of Bipolar Alignment being difficult to relate to--though in reality, that was part of the point. I hoped that the reader would start out thinking "Hm, that's an interesting way to see things," move on to "Wow, they really have some interesting things to say," and finish with "STOP SQUABBLING YOU MORONS, IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T MATTER." Dakarian's interruptions as a mediator ended up easily maneuverable to that end, especially in the second-to-last section.
You can definitely expect some sympathetic scoundrels in the next one I run. It's going to be
spectacular, and the tone should be far more vibrant.
-Compliments-
-More compliments-
Thanks so much, you guys. You really made my month--and this is not flippant thanks, because it's been a pretty good month already
Thanks also for the criticism. I'd like to publish a novel someday, and every little bit helps.
I hope to see you in the next round, if not as players, then as spectators. You guys were all absolutely fantastic. I looked forward to your adventures, sat on the edge of my chair wondering if town or scum would win, and steeled myself to spend yet another night writing what felt like a billion PMs. I loved the flavor you wrote yourselves, that twinge of pleasure that announced: "Yes, they're into it,
they understand these people." Most of all, your rising to the occasion inspired me to do a better job and put in more effort than I might have otherwise, and I feel the work was vastly improved for it.
See you in another story, brothers =)