All I'll say is that anyone worried about being a Narcissist is almost by definition not a narcissist. I've had far more time and experience with narcissists than anyone should, and let me assure you that doubting your infinite perfection and unlimited right to everything under the sun is anti-narcissistic. In fact, it's as soon as you start taking for granted that you are sufficiently humble that you should start worrying.
Does that include thinking you're not a narcissist because you wonder about whether you're a narcissist
Let me explain: The very process of worrying about your own flaws is anti-narcissist. The act of questioning yourself is anti-narcissist. It's not that worrying makes you not a narcissist, but that a narcissist would never worry. Put another way: no one ever worries about narcissism rightly. Either you aren't a narcissist (and you are wasting your time worrying), or you are a narcissist (and thus you'd never worry to begin with). Hence worrying about it is silly. Most people are not narcissists even if they don't worry about it because narcissism is a unique and rare (of course) form of human garbage. A lot of people are selfish and proud and all those other things without indulging in narcissism. In fact even unhealthy pride isn't narcissistic in-and-of-itself, as long as it doesn't crowd out everything else. It's where you become convinced that you are the end-all-be-all, and that the rest of the world does not exist except to amuse you that it is narcissism.
I bet I sound like I'm describing some sort of shallow, poorly-written villain out of a cheap novel. Well partly right: narcissists are extremely shallow. But never for a second believe that they aren't real, that they aren't out there, or that you shouldn't fear meeting one.
Following this up (and many deeper details for later on if anyone would like a better gist of the idea), it comes off more like that those terms being used are...
learned, rather than actual. As in, you hear it from a credible source (of which in general are usually under themes of 'parents/people in authority within the community/older people/people you value or look up to or can depend upon'), you hear it
a lot over time, thus it begins sticking to you by repetition in thought. At times, rather than even being applicable,
especially in the youth or those in young adulthood. Though this is a general note. And a note to not 'fear' others' behaviors--usually people would say 'other people' but it's more the behavior rather than actual people that's being faced (like that thin film between two things)
And it causes conflict in mind whenever it comes out (usually in stressful situations that bring out the idea being applied) -- in general because it's untrue x_x but better words may not be available during the time of that moment. So either you're stuck with that kind of cardboard-cut-out of how you refer to your own behavior/personality, or it's how others reacted to you that reinforces that (eg they may be stressed too / may have lacked the exposure to other people being tolerant and forgiving hence the use of words or how they act being as if attacked, thus defensiveness or such), though there are many possibilities, the context you've got is important to note. Especially since thoughts occur
every moment, and this is extremely important to also add in whatever self-assessment you do; even outside of such events or in your resting periods, what and how you think about things may reflect when it is time for those thoughts to be applied.
You're a very articulate person, Caroline, able to detail events in a clear fashion. I wish I could do the same.
But in all these, you're not narcissistic. It may be my acute memory happening but in a brief recall of all the events leading up to what's going on now about you--it's others' perceptions of how you acted that term it narcissistic.
[And it's a common cognitive mechanism to be able to describe what is observed or seen by a person, into terms they know and understand, so that generally covers why you may get terms that may be really pointy but aren't really exact...I do really believe that additional help there can aid you and your whole family. Counseling and otherwise.]
You aren't narcissistic. Nor do you exhibit indicators of a personality disorder being observed in what/how you do, describe, or detail things. (Of course I'm not trying to even broach diagnosing online, this is just feedback
But in all seriousness--outside of the clinical setting, this seems more like 'informally described narcissism that isn't actually narcissism but it seems like this because of other things happening that may lead to reasoning it into 'someone doing things for themselves in how I describe it')
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9783490 times)