It's one of those days where it just comes across as kind of dumb for me to try to be anything. I suppose people who matter still support me, but it kind of stings that nobody else seem to care the slightest about my self-improvements. And I suppose it's not their fault. Marginally better garbage is still garbage.
Obviously I wrote this to ask for sympathy... but some advice on coping with mediocrity would be nice, or at least advice on how to tell mediocrity to get stuffed.
Heyo. Quick soapbox; best cure for this is to learn to genuinely appreciate yourself and your successes, even if they aren't all the way to where you want to be yet. Honest external appreciation or praise can be really nice to hear, I know, but it's possible to develop your ability to be proud of yourself too. Try it! Just tell yourself what's good about your progress, and give yourself a little space in your mind to honestly celebrate the good, or write about it in a journal or something. Insofar as being worried about "mediocrity", you can choose to look at it that way, or to look at it as successfully developing a moderate proficiency level, yeah? There's no rule that says you can't be proud of yourself while you're still trying to improve.
Also, though I don't really know your sitch, I'm proud of you in the abstract sense. Keep at it, hon! Take it one step at a time; you'll get where you want to be.
P.S. Dignity is for scrubs who put more weight on the feelings of others than on their own. Be the best you you can be, and everyone else can just deal.