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[Xantalos]

A friend of mine seems to have a guilt complex so severe that if he screws up he will avoid any mention of it happening. The worst part is I'm starting to suspect him of lying about things he Has done, if he thinks he can get away with it.
I am the complete opposite of this, and beginning to become infuriated.


Edit: Plus he's been on this forum before, and I fear that he'll make like mastahcheese's wife.

Oh jeez, I can sympathize.
As someone who does that too :/

[Arx]

I just found out about the Charleston shooting.

[Shook]

Tenosynovitis confirmed in my left wrist, so i gotta keep it at rest as much as possible, preferrably while wearing a brace for rigidity. Back to one-handed typing. This could take a while, and will probably overlap with two exams. :I4

[Tack]

A guilt complex so severe that if he screws up he will avoid any mention of it happening.

Oh jeez, I can sympathize.

Bad Xan. Bad.
If you own up straight away with contrition people have a hard time giving you a hard time. It's actually made for a pretty good survival tactic

[penguinofhonor]

.

[redwallzyl]

I just found out about the Charleston shooting.

its quite bad.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/06/18/415345850/reports-eight-dead-in-shooting-at-charleston-s-c-church

"state House Minority leader Todd Rutherford told The Associated Press that the church's pastor, state Sen. Clementa Pinckney, was among those killed. Pinckney 41, was a married father of two who was elected to the state house at age 23, making him the youngest member of the House at the time."

[Dutchling]

theres all kinds of black people drama on my twitter feed now

thanks america

[Xantalos]

A guilt complex so severe that if he screws up he will avoid any mention of it happening.

Oh jeez, I can sympathize.

Bad Xan. Bad.
If you own up straight away with contrition people have a hard time giving you a hard time. It's actually made for a pretty good survival tactic

I've learned to utilize this, before I wasn't smart enough to and defaulted to hide the evidence. Nowadays it varies between how likely my deceptions are to be found out.

[hops]

I'm trying extremely hard to bottle up my negative emotions instead of venting it to people, and while it's doing wonders to my productivity and people's opinion of me, it's still kind of painful and doesn't magically make me any less ugly.

[Spehss _]

I'm trying extremely hard to bottle up my negative emotions instead of venting it to people, and while it's doing wonders to my productivity and people's opinion of me, it's still kind of painful and doesn't magically make me any less ugly.

My first reaction is to say that bottling up your emotions can be a bad thing, buuuut you said it makes you productive, so...

I guess just as long as you have some way of working the emotions out, then that's ok? I guess? Just make sure you don't go and become a crazed serial killer from the pent up emotions, mkay.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

I'm trying extremely hard to bottle up my negative emotions instead of venting it to people, and while it's doing wonders to my productivity and people's opinion of me, it's still kind of painful and doesn't magically make me any less ugly.

Mate, let me be level with ya for a sec, m'kay?
First of all, bottling up emotions like that is a fucking terrible idea, productivity or no. Eventually they're gonna explode out, and, well... It's probably not gonna end well.
Second of all, unless you've been feeding us pictures of someone else, you really aren't ugly. Seriously.

[Graknorke]

Emotions aren't a fluid. They're not going to burst Cinder's metaphorical bottle. Venting and feeling good about it just reinforces having and expressing those negative feelings. Learning to keep your emotions under control is both going to be ultimately better for your own well-being and crucial for being part of a decent society.

Keep it up Cinder, you're doing good.

[WillowLuman]

I'm trying extremely hard to bottle up my negative emotions instead of venting it to people, and while it's doing wonders to my productivity and people's opinion of me, it's still kind of painful and doesn't magically make me any less ugly.

Vent to people you trust and who are willing to listen, or put those emotions into art. You will need some way of working them out, after all. However, it's good to get productivity and opinion up, since those might help with the underlying anxieties that cause your negative emotions.

[Niccolo]

Emotions aren't a fluid. They're not going to burst Cinder's metaphorical bottle. Venting and feeling good about it just reinforces having and expressing those negative feelings. Learning to keep your emotions under control is both going to be ultimately better for your own well-being and crucial for being part of a decent society.

Keep it up Cinder, you're doing good.

Bottling up emotion and keeping them under control are two totally different things, though. Take this from someone who's made that exact same mistake and is currently on wonderful antidepressants to fix said mistake. Emotions aren't a fluid, but if you do just bottle them up they absolutely do get too much to handle.

Keeping emotion under control is, resisting the impulsive actions that result from emotion but still deal with the issues. Whether its jerky coworkers, condescending bosses, bullying, sexual harassment, you absolutely must fix the issue. Yes, those are all personal examples. Yes, I reacted badly to most of them. Fixing it may mean talking it out, it may mean seeing a shrink, it means whatever helps get rid of the problem in a healthy manner.

Bottling it up is when you simply push the emotions down and don't let them show. I'm seriously resisting the urge to quote Frozen here, but they were seriously right on the money - hiding emotion is baaaaad. Internalising everything ends with problems just going around and around in your head. For me, I did it for so long that I'd just kick everything inwards. Little thoughts would just sit inside and fester, going around and around until they became way too big and it ended with me punching someone anyway.

Look, sometimes you've gotta vent. And venting does help, if you do it to the right person. Perspective changes absolutely everything, trust me. I've had problems that built up in my head because I just bottled everything up - and when my girlfriend did finally drag it out of me, she helped me put everything into focus. It's not about reinforcing negative feelings, it's about getting them out of your system and putting yourself back into the right frame of mind to actually look at them clearly.

[hops]

"Bottling" in my case just mean venting less. I don't think it's physically possible for me to not be whiny.