Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Dutchling]

My mom threw coffee over her 1 year old

D:

...laptop

Phew...

[Yoink]

I dunno man, one year olds can be pretty cheap to replace if you can spare the time and effort... laptops, on the other hand?

[MaximumZero]

My mom threw coffee over her 1 year old

D:

...laptop

Phew...

That is exactly how I read that. Heart skipped a beat, there.

[Helgoland]

I dunno about it being unimportant. In my experience, most guys would have some pretty major complaints if they had to put on a dress for whatever reason. And it would be largely because of a mismatch between their gender identity and what wearing a dress signals socially.

Helgo's got it more on the mark, I think; they're pretty chill about it because they don't have problems with it often, and that's something that applies to every issue. It's important, but since it doesn't really come up often it's not important that it's important, if you see what I mean. It's pretty important that your booze not have dangerous amounts of methanol in it, but it comes up so rarely that most people aren't going to spend time fussing over making sure that what they buy in the supermarket will leave their powers of sight intact. But if somebody's making their own moonshine I can pretty well understand why they'd give a fuck.

Actually I meant that guys who have problems with wearing a dress usually have deeper problems explaining that one - either they fear being ridiculed or they are insecure in their masculinity. Usually it's the latter. However wearing a dress is not exactly something that touches your identity if you don't let it...

[hops]

I don't like wearing a dress because I really don't like the standard dress aesthetic. The only type of feminine clothing I like are the "boyish" ones.

I find it rather dumb that we have to assign genders to clothing, though. I mean, most dresses are pretty masculine in a way.

[Helgoland]

"My crotch cannot be contained by mere cotton garments! My balls need to swing free like the majestic eagle's wings! My schlong must dangle like the trunk of the mighty elephant!"

[Eric Blank]

We should bring back togas. Togas and tights.

Anyway, spambots. Spam to the spam gods! Movies for the movie orphanage!

[Bauglir]

I find it rather dumb that we have to assign genders to clothing, though. I mean, most dresses are pretty masculine in a way.

Oh, absolutely. Still, people do; it's one reason why many transgender people wear clothing belonging to the opposite physical sex. It's a way of outwardly affirming a gender identity, which can help fortify against internal doubts. Or at least that's how I understand it often to be, and by no means do all trans people do this or, if they do, do so for the same reasons. You'd probably know a lot better than I would, I suppose.

or they are insecure in their masculinity

That's literally what I meant; part of their identity involves externally signalling their gender by clothing choice (lots of trans people try to signal with pronouns in exactly the same way, again by my understanding). So there's a lot of discomfort with doing something that runs counter to that, and I think it's very similar in principle. The main difference is that for most people it's not something they would rate as an important part of their identity because it's not something they're confronted with on a regular basis. Just as you (probably) wouldn't bother to list "methanol-free" on your criteria for good booze.

However wearing a dress is not exactly something that touches your identity if you don't let it...

This is certainly the case! Same with most things. "If you don't let it" is kind of the key thing, there. Kind of makes it tautological. A lot of work sometimes has to go into making that part happen, for example if you're socialized to believe that dresses are inherently feminine.

[Tiruin]

Actually, forgive my macabre curiosity, but I've always wondered if trans people get a secret thrill from getting gender-biased derogoratives thrown at them.
Like grouping someone in with the 'all men are pigs' or 'all women are emotionally unstable' stereotypes. It's inclusion, but in a backhanded fashion.
Just curious. If I could make someone happy by being abrasive and generalist, frankly I'd marry them.

Nope
Research also backs this up if any curiosity is to be had. Any 'secret thrill' this way (...a very generalizing and demeaning thing in how its written here {?}) is not directly correlated with being trans, or to expound, it has no connection with innate gender identity.
...It is more of a social construct overall, encompassing one's exposure to ideas and current environment, that stereotyping.

[IcyTea31]

I'm pretty sure the question of dresses is indeed all about insecurity and fear of being ridiculed. As a non-transvestite amateur stage actor, I can tell that in the right context, nothing is taboo. "Yes, that man is wearing a dress, but for the purposes of the plot, he needs to be a woman right now, so let's imagine 'she' is one." Of course, in real life, you ought to not have to imagine anything, but it would be a start. We just need to spread the magic of theatre all over so people other than real men can wear pink.

Ninjaedit: I'm not completely happy with how the message comes through in this post. Please don't get me wrong.

[WillowLuman]

I've spent most of my weekend picking at a term paper which is already late. But damnit, I just have nothing to say that fits the prompt.

[IronTomato]

Went to grandfather's to do work again earlier today. I'm laying down and my legs still feel like they're being pulled apart.

[IcyTea31]

THE PAIN

Seems appropriate.

Just rest and stretch your legs around as much as you can without it hurting. You'll be less sore tomorrow.

[Truean]

Finally, county paying for therapist. Dealt with career crippling corruption, "won" by properly alerting authorities, was retaliated against. Led to anxiety, fear, hopeless feeling depression. Some of therapist's advice is helpful. Other parts seem conflicting.

Deal with anxiety by realizing "you can't make people behave," "it isn't your fault," "you take too much responsibility for others." In other words, don't worry yourself sick trying to figure out what you can do about it. She also says not to "let yourself be a victim...."

So don't worry about the bad things people do cause you can't make them behave, but don't let yourself be a victim? How do you do one while also doing the other? Aren't they mutually exclusive? Isn't someone "victimizing" you something you "can't make people behave?" Does not compute; conflicting order of operations; cannot execute protocol. Segfault; error.

[sigh].

[SalmonGod]

Probably telling you not to victimize yourself on behalf of others.