I know I said I wouldn't, but I have a legitimate sad this time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pq-S557XQU I no longer see the purpose in my life.
Someone talk to me before I do something stupid. I've already stayed up all night and had to face the reality of a very bleak and painful future from the point of view of an already not-so-pleasant present. What is the point of persevering in the face of the futility that I face? As a human, I'm below average in my capabilities and old-fashioned in my reasoning. If even the best are being replaced, then what hope do I have? And without hope, I cannot function. I don't see how anyone could. It's not even as though I am liberated to do something else, it's more akin to being barred from what I want to do and then enslaved by those who won't do it but won't let me do it because they don't want to pay for me to eat. And even the arts aren't safe anymore, so I have reached an all-new level of purposelessness that makes me just wish I were dead. I... I guess I could hold on for my friends' sake, but what's the point in that? I'd spare them a lot of misery to just let them collapse in on themselves and die of their own accord and myself do the same. Someone, anyone, give me a reason why continuing my life on this wretched sphere is even remotely worth it? ( Don't say pleasure, because I have nearly none. And these were mainly rooted in hopes, dreams, and other meaningless escapisms. Now I am left with a life that has only misery, unless someone can find something to give me reason again. I suppose there's the afterlife and all that, but wouldn't I arrive there much more quickly if I took a shortcut? And even if I go to hell, then isn't that just the same as eternal hopelessness? So how would that be any different? )