I uh. Once took the back of a claw hammer from my wrist below the thumb to just behind my thumb once. It didn't bleed and the under-flesh was purple. It never really hurt but I think I was in shock after I first looked, heh. It was a good 1/4 inch deep at the deepest. I could see all the little perforations where the blood vessels should have been.
And I almost stabbed myself tonight while I was cutting a pomegranate. It took some conscious effort not to, and then I threw the knife across the counter.
I'm not going to give in! I won't!
On accident? Probably not. You're strong, Captain. That takes a lot of willpower. PM box is open. I might not be much more help than a place to put feelings, but I want to offer something.
Hallucinating.
I feel so alone.
I'm a little late here, mostly because I didn't know what to say. A lot of people around me, three as of you, are starting to have episodes of disassociation. I can PM you my cell number for texting or offer you my PM box or steam (I'm friended already, under RoadVirus, I think, from a giveaway). Reality is here, and we're here for you when you come down. You will make it through, Vector. You have before. You're strong, too. You've made it through a lot and it's done its damages, but you've carried on and you've done a lot of wonderful things, poor circumstances be damned.