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[Vector]

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[Gentlefish]

Hallucinating.

I feel so alone.

I'm a little late here, mostly because I didn't know what to say. A lot of people around me, three as of you, are starting to have episodes of disassociation. I can PM you my cell number for texting or offer you my PM box or steam (I'm friended already, under RoadVirus, I think, from a giveaway). Reality is here, and we're here for you when you come down. You will make it through, Vector. You have before. You're strong, too. You've made it through a lot and it's done its damages, but you've carried on and you've done a lot of wonderful things, poor circumstances be damned.

Thank you. I've been dissociating since I was very little, actually; it has grown more frightening as I've gotten older, simply because there's more and more I'm cut off from (since there's more and more stuff inside). Usually it does not get to the point where I see and feel things that are not there, though. That I find very bothersome. Last time I thought I had wounds in my mouth for months.

This time I drew a picture of myself waking up and I feel a lot better. Kind of funny, I guess? Maybe I'll try drawing more pictures. Got kind of into it.

I might actually ask you for your cell number, though I warn you that it is highly likely that a. you will never receive anything and also that b. anything you receive will be a bucket full of crazy, namely "communicating" snippets of theorems and poetry quotations (followed by complaints about everyone having their heads up their asses too far to be able to figure out what I'm trying to say) if the typical habits reign.

I'll be sure to reply with complaints about computer science things and my feelings about robots (they are very positive ones). Glad you're feeling better

[Dutchling]

I am terrible at handling money.
The month isn't even halfway over and I'm already overdrawn D:

I know I shouldn't be complaining because I don't have actual money problems but it still kinda sucks...

[hops]

Talking about money, I've probably lost about $1500.

[Dutchling]

I'm still regretting my holiday to Spain :/

Other than being there with friends it wasn't even fun.

[Neonivek]

HOLY freeken super cow!

I just had someone attempt to post all my private messages on this chat I go to publically...

and WOOSH are there some embarrassing secrets on there.

I am soo thankful they were bad at keeping logs.

[Bauglir]

Glad you're doin' better, Vector. I hope an eternity passes before it gets that bad again.

[Iceblaster]

Sigh.

I hate teenage moodiness. I hate sounding like an angsty bitch when I'm in those moods. I hate it not being in a definite 'this is when it'll happen' schedule. I just generally hate the moodiness that accompanies growing up.

Doesn't help that I remember the stupid things I've done on here. Neither does remembering stupid stuff from real life.

[Spehss _]

Oh god had a test this morning that I could've studied for the night before if I wasn't still basically hungover from the anti-depressants.

Don't know what to do now. The whole medication thing was pretty much my last hope of "fixing" myself. Assuming there's even anything to fix and I'm not just naturally unhappy 90% of the time. If the medication makes me feel this messed up then I'll have to do something about it. Get a different medication, ask the doctor about it, something.

Either option seems shitty; take the meds and feel awful now, or don't take the meds and probably feel awful in the future when I'm utterly miserable for no clear reason.

I don't know anymore. I want to give up and sleep. Good thing it's Monday and I have no free time for sleep.

[Helgoland]

How long have you been taking this medication? Stick with it for at least two weeks. If the side effects persist, go see your doctor, but for the love of all that is holy, don't just stop taking the stuff. It does more damage than just continuing.

[Rose]

Blugh, feeling sickly.

[TamerVirus]

Have you ever had crushing apathy toward your responsibilities? It's one of those days...

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Well, I told my dad I almost stabbed myself last night and he laughed, then told me my aunt has Seasonal Affective Disorder.
And then he walked away... Was that supposed to help? I don't even understand.

[smjjames]

Well, I told my dad I almost stabbed myself last night and he laughed, then told me my aunt has Seasonal Affective Disorder.
And then he walked away... Was that supposed to help? I don't even understand.

O.o

that is all.......................

Maybe talk to your aunt instead? or talk to someone who will take you seriously.

[Vector]

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