All these reoccurring crush shenanigans make me happy I've never had to deal with that shit >.<
I don't know. As much as I've felt heartache and loneliness and embarrassment as a result my crushes (especially when it lead me to accidentally ask out a married girl/lady), I don't think I'd ever want them to go away, even if I eventually end up alone. Maybe that's crazy and messed up, but I'd prefer to want and not have than to not want at all.
And since I'm sort of talking about the subject already, the girl I currently have a crush on (who I kinda sorta was already interested in when I asked out the married one, but there's no need to go into detail about that), hasn't been at work the same time as me for the past two weeks (and the last time she was the married young lady was around, so it felt kind of awkward so I pretty much just said hello to her and then remained elusive for the rest of my shift). I don't know when I'll see her again (it could be tomorrow for all I know), and the prospect of seeing her again has me both scared and excited at the same time.
I'm mostly scared because I want to ask her out, but the idea kinda frightens me because what if she says no or what if she says and we go out and I'm awkward and it doesn't work out or what if it does work out but then I'm horrible to her in some way or maybe it turns out I'm a good boyfriend but everything in our lives change but maybe that's okay but maybe we want to get married but we can't because we're too poor because I dropped out of college or maybe that's okay somehow but maybe we decide to have kids and it turns out I can't stand to spend time with them and they grow up to have emotional problems as a result or maybe...
But I'm excited because she's cute and seems rather smart and she just makes me feel happier when she's around. And holy shit, what if the things I'm worried about worked out?