All these reoccurring crush shenanigans make me happy I've never had to deal with that shit >.<
Well, I'm glad that I don't
anymore...
But I had two awkward crushes as a kid. Before I went, "Meh, screw it I'll just never screw anyone because that shit's gross".
My first one, I was in first grade (everyone, say 'aw'). It was valentines day (Everyone, brace yourselves). I brought a hand-picked gift for her, and junk cards for everyone else (Everyone, hold onto your seats). I remember it was an expensive Hasbro product (And here's where you should really start going uh-oh). I look around the classroom, she's not there (Uh-oh x2 combo). I look under the giant climbing fort, in the phonics closet, under everyone's desks, she's not anywhere (Uh-oh x3 combo!). My heart is crushed, and I ask the teacher if the girl is sick. Nope. She's in the school, and not-even aware I exist. She's been moved to the second grade, because she's smarter than I am. I do the dumbest thing ever: Throw out the hand-picked gift (I'm told the teacher took it and took it to my crush in the second grade classroom later).
My second crush, I was in second grade, different school. I refused to go to a school where such an evil heartbreaker went (and my parents say that they had been worried about the bullies there, who apparently teased me for my Aspurger's Syndrome (Ass-burgers, real creative, eh?), though I don't remember the bullies). So different school. I fall in love with someone in the eighth grade. Yeah. My parents still have photos of me sitting on her lap from the valentines dance (with her real boyfriend standing behind/beside her). Two years later, she graduates, and the result on my psyche is predictable: Wah.
So eventually I realized that it's not females I'm attracted to, it's intelligence. Which is why I spend so much time on these forums. Where I'll never bother anyone with my yucky DNA fluid. Because of all the creative, smart, wonderful people who make my life fulfilled.
All these reoccurring crush shenanigans make me happy I've never had to deal with that shit >.<
Someday I'll transcend these meatbag emotions like attraction and love. Obviously I just need to be alone another twenty two years. Then I'll become a wizard.
But then you're saddled with the wizardly emotions and the responsibilities of saving the world and training the next batch of wizards. Stay alone for another 50 years after becoming a wizard, be a Lich. Even less emotional baggage and shit, no responsibilities whatsoever. No need to even hold a job, since you don't need to eat or drink anymore, and don't need shelter or sleep either.
And once you're a lich, I urge you to go a step further and experiment with enough magic to rise to the level of Demilich.