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[Knit tie]

I fucked up.

You want to talk about it?

If what I know about people here is right Toady One would come over and ban my ass for talking about it faster than I can say "But it's not real."

Is it somehow related to sex and/or violence?

And my PM is always open.

She didn't talk to an expert, but based on my stories my own counselor said that, if I was correctly representing her, she seemed pretty fucking sick.

And yeah, I'm humoring her now, since fighting with her over her rampant whites-only racism, or her constantly going back on her word, or things like offering to sous-chef and then deciding that ~getting the oyster sauce out of the fridge isn't her job and getting snippy because I dared to ask her~... well, it's not worth it.

Hopefully your mom will get better. I can tell you from personal experience, these things can go away. Mine sure did.

I don't want to talk about it any more. I'm disgusted with myself.

This is getting really ominous, Objective. You should tell us, perhaps we can help.

[Graknorke]

If it's not real then you haven't fucked up.
Thoughtcrime isn't a thing yet.

[TD1]

If it is a thought thing, then there is a huge difference between thought and act as well.

[Knit tie]

If it isn't real, then there is no fuck up whatsoever. Sometimes our minds come up with horrifying ideas, but we almost never follow up on them because we recognize how stupid and dangerous they are.

[Tiruin]

If it isn't real, then there is no fuck up whatsoever. Sometimes our minds come up with horrifying ideas, but we almost never follow up on them because we recognize how stupid and dangerous they are.

AKA: Intrusive thoughts~

Those aren't you thinking that :v

[Knit tie]

If it isn't real, then there is no fuck up whatsoever. Sometimes our minds come up with horrifying ideas, but we almost never follow up on them because we recognize how stupid and dangerous they are.

AKA: Intrusive thoughts~

Those aren't you thinking that :v

Believe me, I've had plenty of those in my time, and talking really helps. So please, don't keep silent. We are worried about you.

[Vector]

Hopefully your mom will get better. I can tell you from personal experience, these things can go away. Mine sure did.

Thanks, but I think that at this point continuing to hope is pretty pointless/counter-productive. It'll be nice if she changes, but...

Just, fuck.

[mastahcheese]

If it isn't real, then there is no fuck up whatsoever. Sometimes our minds come up with horrifying ideas, but we almost never follow up on them because we recognize how stupid and dangerous they are.

AKA: Intrusive thoughts~

Those aren't you thinking that :v

Believe me, I've had plenty of those in my time, and talking really helps. So please, don't keep silent. We are worried about you.

^This. What you think isn't something to be ashamed of, or upset about. And like Tiruin said, it's not really you "thinking" those things, it's those things coming into your mind. It happens.

And like others have said, you can PM me if you'd like. Talking about it would likely help.

[Tiruin]

Hopefully your mom will get better. I can tell you from personal experience, these things can go away. Mine sure did.

Thanks, but I think that at this point continuing to hope is pretty pointless/counter-productive. It'll be nice if she changes, but...

Just, fuck.

Well, hoping never done anyone wrong--and it isn't pointless given that you're in the best position to help her being her daughter.

Talk to her. I believe its best not to...well, not to avoid her despite all that has been done in the past. While she does have the final choice to change her attitude or such, there also needs to be something to externally influence her for the better.

Though...judging from what I've seen since last time you've spoken on that matter...maybe she has a feeling that respect for her has gone down and is acting...defensively(?) regarding it? (ie ...wait, let me just format that one part I'm guessing on)

She didn't talk to an expert, but based on my stories my own counselor said that, if I was correctly representing her, she seemed pretty fucking sick.

And yeah, I'm humoring her now, since fighting with her over her rampant whites-only racism, or her constantly going back on her word, or things like offering to sous-chef and then deciding that ~getting the oyster sauce out of the fridge isn't her job and getting snippy because I dared to ask her~... well, it's not worth it.

...Also random thought. Do you guys tell each other you love each other, directly in words? Pretty random, yeah, but... >_<

[Vector]

My mom has been treating me like this my entire life. There is nothing new here.  It doesn't matter what I do, and it doesn't matter what I say.

Unless you really think that I should live in a bedroom on their property for the rest of my life as a live-in caregiver and never marry?  Because that's what she wants.

[Tiruin]

Would it be too much if I said that there's always a way. :/
Ask her to treat you differently, like saying what attitude you think she could change 'Could you please not be [attitude]?' and possibly, ask her what bad things she sees in you too?

Unless you really think that I should live in a bedroom on their property for the rest of my life as a live-in caregiver and never marry?  Because that's what she wants.

She wants you to not marry and stay with them or...something like that?
Mm..well, here in the Phil, its muchly able to give care to whoever your elders are even if you're married and living miles away from them.

Maybe she's feeling neglected or...alone-like?

[Knit tie]

My mom has been treating me like this my entire life. There is nothing new here.  It doesn't matter what I do, and it doesn't matter what I say.

Unless you really think that I should live in a bedroom on their property for the rest of my life as a live-in caregiver and never marry?  Because that's what she wants.

I feel like a horrible, horrible person saying this, but the more I remember your posts about all the pain your mother put you through and think about how you do not appear to have any sympathy for her anymore, the more I believe you should just put her in a nuthouse and move on with your life.

I am a very compassionate person, but even I have my limits. Especially when dealing with rape apologists.

[Descan]

Tir, pretty sure she's tried all that already.

[Tiruin]

Tir, pretty sure she's tried all that already.

Yes ;_;
...
...
I've a feeling of doubt on the matter and I've no idea why its there despite seeing everything Vector said, is all. >_<; Like there's something missing between them and such.

[Knit tie]

Tir, pretty sure she's tried all that already.

Yes ;_;
...
...
I've a feeling of doubt on the matter and I've no idea why its there despite seeing everything Vector said, is all. >_<; Like there's something missing between them and such.

Some compassion and sanity is definitely absent from theeir relationship, yes.