First, I know about the belt whippings, I got them too, up until I was... I think the last one I got was when I was 14.
When I was in grades k-3, I was quickly recognized as ahead of the rest of the class and given special classes (Apex, they called them) (this isn't particularly impressive for somebody playing dwarf fortress, I suppose, and I'm trying to use this to explain my story, so don't think I'm bragging
(my IQ is merely 135, nothing incredible)). After grade 3 my mom pulled me out of school to try to homeschool me herself, as she thought she would teach me "better" than the school was. She replaced the socialization I was getting at school with church - although with church, I was only getting three or four hours a week compared to the 30+ I'd been getting at school. Not only that, she proved to be a horrible teacher - from that point on, while I had the resources, I basically had to teach myself while she napped, watched TV, or did whatever. Everything I learned since I was eight, I've basically taught myself.
My family started breaking up (marital issues) around when I was 12. My mom and dad stopped going to church, I stopped seeing kids my age completely, and for a good deal of the time, was left at home alone with two younger brothers and two special-needs sisters we'd adopted from Bulgaria - and none of my siblings respected me or listened to a thing I said - but I got treated as if they did. I got in trouble for every mess they made (beaten a lot), and was totally stressed out for the next two years, without ever getting to talk to any friends outside the family. When my parents got divorced two years later, and my mom hated me from then on out: I look just like my dad, and for that reason, I remind her of him. She absolutely loathes him, and so she treats me close to the same way. She hasn't said a single encouraging thing since then to me, being overly critical of everything I've done, telling me I'm irresponsible and wouldn't last a day in a real job, saying my career choices (programming, then writing, then modeling) are ridiculous and I won't be able to earn a living with them ("especially with your skills, that looks like a program I would've seen in the 80's"), etc. You get the idea. My mom absolutely loves that I'm doing her job as the parent, though, and has done absolutely everything in her power to ensure I can't leave home, and has even said as much - "There's nothing wrong with going to college when you're 40."
So, I've been a "parent" to my siblings since I was 12, I haven't seen anyone my age in person since then, I've never even hugged a girl, and every relationship I've had has been purely online (which makes me losing my fiancée a few days ago look even more pathetic (she was going to visit me for the first time this summer, but now... yeah.)). I have no phone and I have a laptop with Internet capabilities only because I saved up for it myself from scrounging - and she wouldn't even let me out of the house buy it myself (I was 19). I can't get out of the house because the nearest town is 15 miles away, no money, no method of transportation (my mom won't let me learn to drive), no local friends, no formal education, and therefore no way to get a job and finally move out - and on top of all of it, my siblings need me to act as the parent. I'm 23, and I turn 24 on the 29th, and it's been at least half a year since I've been out of the house, 12 years since I saw anyone my age, and I've had to act as a parent and take the abuse of my mother for all that time.
So, yes. I get the abusive parent thing. It sucks. It seriously does, and all I can say is,
stay strong and keep hoping. That's all you can really do. Believe in yourself. Not just anyone could make it as far as you have, and that means you're awesome. I know it may not sound like much now, but the important thing is that you don't give up. Don't let her win. Be strong, man. It sucks like hell, but
you can get through this. Don't stop hoping.