I'm really beginning to dislike this whole having a crush thing.
The girl I'm interested has a number of orbiters and guyfriends that follow her around and such. Not that I'm any better, but it sure puts a damper on the hopes that you'll get closer to someone when there's a ton of people who are stronger, wealthier, better looking, and - More importantly - Who she's more comfortable around.
One of the dudes has been kind of playing wing man in a weird way. He's obviously Mr Alpha of the group, but he invites me over to chat or hang out when she's around, and I'm not sure how to take that. Even stranger, he (And others) frequently talk to her in a blunt, "I'm attracted to you" way. I'm not sure if this is an attempt at flattery by proclaiming admiration in front of a group, if he's just trying to show her that he's a friendly dude willing to accept even (apparently) shy geeks, or both.
So not only do I have to traverse the unknown territory of courtship with a girl who I can barely force myself to talk to because I'm so anxious, I have to figure out how to integrate myself into a strange jock culture that's mindbogglingly friendly on the surface.
To top it off, this whole deal is totally out of character for me. I never thought I'd meet a girl I'd instantly have a crush on, and am very comfortable talking with most women in a variety of settings. I always figured I'd meet a girl, become her friend, and eventually things would progress beyond that naturally. That's certainly what I want to happen, even here, but I can't seem to focus on anything other than the fact that I'm very attracted to this girl when I talk about her or think about her.
I'm starting to question whether or not being interested in her is even healthy or worth it. The people she hangs out with obviously have everything she could want, I can't even have a conversation with her for more than five minutes, and I don't even know her well enough to know if we're compatible.
But damn if I can't help myself.