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[Truean]

[nods] If it helps, I know how that feels.

My mom has severe mental problems and its a wonder I don't have far more severe ones. For lack of any other term, she really just doesn't get it and is mentally not capable of getting it: interacting with people at all. She will say the exact wrong thing all the time and she is absolutely incapable of understanding why people react badly to her. It's like the dog who jumps on everyone and wants to lick their faces while sniffing everything and "playfully biting," so far as it is concerned, the dog is just saying hello. It cannot comprehend why you don't want it jumping on you,  while licking and sniffing every square inch of you and giving you little bites. Said dog is hurt that you don't want that and can't comprehend why you don't. She has told her boss to fuck off at his own wedding, told salesmen what they sell has no class in front of a very nice showroom full of people, called lots of women fat to their faces, called a bartender an unspeakable name for cutting off her booze and other things I can't even put in print. She will try to physically attack you if you mention a psychologist.

So I have recently been trying to have some relationship with my mother (and keep her from trying to go to that casino again before she loses any more money), and that consists of sitting there with her for some limited amount of time at her place watching whatever TV show she happens to have on while ignoring her complaining or smiling and nodding about it. She will often not even have TV on and will instead just start yelling at me while we I calmly sit down.

I have found a way to deal with this though. I take out a leather zip up binder and pretend to be taking god damn notes. In reality, my smartphone is streaming TV and she can't see it due to the binder. She truly doesn't know what's going on, because I don't think she realizes this technology exists. It's the only way I can sit through two hours of screaming abuse so that SOMEONE is there with my mom, because literally no other human being will voluntarily hang out with her due to said extreme social awkwardness/ total inappropriateness. It's both immensely sad and unimaginably infuriating. She's sick and I know that, but part of her sickness is being a completely caustic asshole to everyone, even and especially people trying to help her. 'The hell do you help someone who is intent on repaying your kindness with a figurative gun and insulting you as stupid for even trying? [shrugs]. If she ever figures out what a smartphone is, then it's all over.

Recently, after yet another sad hour day, I blew up at her again. I reach my limit about every 3 or 4 months. [shrugs] I dunno. I try.

Hang in there man, you'll figure out a way to deal eventually. (and so will I).

[kaijyuu]

So I went to the doctor today, mentioned some things offhand, and he gave me a sheet to fill out. He looked it over and said I might have depression.



Maybe I'm stuck with the hollywood version of depression where everything's bleak and hopeless, but I certainly don't think I'm depressed. Irregular sleep schedule, zero appetite and mood swings, sure. I might be wrong :X

[Burnt Pies]

About a month back my Mother came off her motorbike, either due to or causing pretty bad brain damage (Doctors are unsure; it looks like a stroke, but might not be). She's been in a Coma since then, and yesterday I was told she's going to be moved up to Queen's Medical Centre, the hospital nearest to home. Unfortunately, this is because they feel there's nothing else they can do for her, and that she may as well be closer to home if that's the case.

Prognosis has been bad since the start; it's not certain if she'll wake up, and if she does she's likely to be paralysed, maybe with memory loss.

Feeling pretty rubbish right now. Caught a cold, too, which makes me feel reluctant to go visit her.

[Pnx]

<snip>

That... actually does sound a lot like the way my mother is, although she's usually more polite and capable of tolerating other people out and about, it's just behind closed doors that she causes problems.

I sort of feel like ranting about it, but I'm not sure where to start, there's just so many complicated personal issues, I'm really not sure what's wrong with her, but I really just wish it was possible to have a serious conversation with her without her being aggressive and abusive. I'm not good at talking to people, it's a struggle under the best of circumstances for me, but if you respond to me trying to talk to you seriously by attacking me, I'm just not going to be able to talk to you. Ugh.

So I went to the doctor today, mentioned some things offhand, and he gave me a sheet to fill out. He looked it over and said I might have depression.



Maybe I'm stuck with the hollywood version of depression where everything's bleak and hopeless, but I certainly don't think I'm depressed. Irregular sleep schedule, zero appetite and mood swings, sure. I might be wrong :X

I didn't really think I was depressed for a long time before I really admitted it, it's possible you're mildly depressed, although from the sounds of things I think you sound more "restless" than depressed.

About a month back my Mother came off her motorbike, either due to or causing pretty bad brain damage (Doctors are unsure; it looks like a stroke, but might not be). She's been in a Coma since then, and yesterday I was told she's going to be moved up to Queen's Medical Centre, the hospital nearest to home. Unfortunately, this is because they feel there's nothing else they can do for her, and that she may as well be closer to home if that's the case.

Prognosis has been bad since the start; it's not certain if she'll wake up, and if she does she's likely to be paralysed, maybe with memory loss.

Feeling pretty rubbish right now. Caught a cold, too, which makes me feel reluctant to go visit her.

Yeesh, kind of a bad way to follow up an exchange between two people over how troublesome their mother's are. I hope she'll be alright.

[Burnt Pies]

Yeesh, kind of a bad way to follow up an exchange between two people over how troublesome their mother's are. I hope she'll be alright.

I really didn't mean it in that way. Just terrible timing and I wanted to be able to tell someone about it.

[Pnx]

Yeesh, kind of a bad way to follow up an exchange between two people over how troublesome their mother's are. I hope she'll be alright.

I really didn't mean it in that way. Just terrible timing and I wanted to be able to tell someone about it.

Err I think that came out kind of wrong, what I was saying is I was talking about how my mother's troublesome, then someone else talks about how they understand how that feels, then someone else says their mother is in a coma, and it made me feel kinda bad.

[abculatter_2]

I wake up.
I have a shitty breakfast of a few chunks of sweet potato baked with brown sugar (I don't like added sugar in my food) and  slightly burnt, too salty little baby potatos, feel shitty because of that... Then get yelled at by my mom when I try to tell her that blending canned tomatos, then mixing them with brown sugar, molasses, and garlic powder is not barbeque sauce, making me feel even more like shit.

And because of my messed up sleeping schedule, I woke up at 9PM, so I know I'll be spending hours and hours bored, alone, and unable to sleep in the dark.
Fuck today...

[penguinofhonor]

Our landlord is kind of an asshole. That's annoying but not unbearable.

But I was made aware today that if this apartment doesn't work out, I'm basically screwed. Everyone else has already made plans with someone about what to do. I'll be homeless. I've pretty much always been the person fighting to not get thrown under the bus and I'm just tired of it now. I don't want to have to do this anymore but I don't have any other options.

[Scelly9]

Damn. Damn. Damn.

My K7 account was deleted for inactivity.

[Pnx]

So I got into an argument with my mother... sort of. I decided to chance getting some toast to eat and she apparently took the fact that I was in the kitchen eating something as provocation and came along and started shouting at me and shoving me, I eventually just snapped and screamed at her... primordial style. I may have also dumped a glass of water on her head and shouted some junk at her, not the most mature reaction I'll admit. This of course did nothing to stop her, very little does. So right in the middle of her explaining how I didn't deserve to eat on account of being a wretched parasite I just plain asked her if she'd prefer if I went and killed myself, she said that would be wonderful and that I'd be doing the world a huge favour by doing so, so I stormed off to the garage with no real plan in mind and after a brief search I found... a bottle of antifreeze... not the best suicide plan in the world I'll admit, I understand it takes a lot to kill you and it would probably just make me go permanently blind instead.

So after sitting outside with the bottle basically wussing out for a while my father came along and talked to me and gave me a speech that kind of helped but really showed he doesn't know half the issues I have, but it kinda helped and it convinced me to give up on killing myself... he then said something about how early tomorrow he'd get me up and we'd do something about my life... I have no clue what he intends to do or even if anything will happen.

[Gamerlord]

Just started anti-anxiety medication. I feel dizzy. 

[Gunner-Chan]

I had JUST changed my mind about going to bed. Since I felt spending some extra time before sleep would help me likely more than sleeping early.

And he's gone already. Gaahhh.

[Skyrunner]

Writing essay... this is so hard.. .T_T

[Tellemurius]

Writing essay... this is so hard.. .T_T

hey we don't wanna be a accessory to your slacking off

is the deadline tomorrow?

[Skyrunner]

No, but my mom is threatening me to finish it by tomorrow morning D:
For applying to highschool.