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[SalmonGod]

In the morning I am going to pick out an urn for my stillborn baby brother. I wasn't going to go, but several people have insisted that I should go so I don't regret anything when I am older. I don't know why, but I haven't really cried about it at all. I am always good in emergencies involving people with mental breakdowns and head wounds, but sometimes I worry. I am sad about it, I truly am, I just haven't been uncontrollably so. I feel like I should be breaking down and going insane, based on the number of people who have asked me if I am okay. But I really am at peace with it, despite it only happening a few days ago. I just don't know.

I'm kind of the same way.  I don't really mourn people like most seem to.  I don't get torn up about loss.  I will sort of dwell on honoring someone's memory for a while, but not in an intensely sad way.  Then again, I've never lost anyone that I was deeply attached to, and I have never been deeply attached to many people.

[Karlito]

In the morning I am going to pick out an urn for my stillborn baby brother. I wasn't going to go, but several people have insisted that I should go so I don't regret anything when I am older. I don't know why, but I haven't really cried about it at all. I am always good in emergencies involving people with mental breakdowns and head wounds, but sometimes I worry. I am sad about it, I truly am, I just haven't been uncontrollably so. I feel like I should be breaking down and going insane, based on the number of people who have asked me if I am okay. But I really am at peace with it, despite it only happening a few days ago. I just don't know.

I've probably lost a family member every 2 or three years since I was 10 and it didn't take long for me to stop crying about them. Like it or not, the death of people you know is something that everyone has to get used to, so it's probably healthier in the long run that you've learned to cope a bit.

[RedKing]

In the morning I am going to pick out an urn for my stillborn baby brother. I wasn't going to go, but several people have insisted that I should go so I don't regret anything when I am older. I don't know why, but I haven't really cried about it at all. I am always good in emergencies involving people with mental breakdowns and head wounds, but sometimes I worry. I am sad about it, I truly am, I just haven't been uncontrollably so. I feel like I should be breaking down and going insane, based on the number of people who have asked me if I am okay. But I really am at peace with it, despite it only happening a few days ago. I just don't know.

Well, there's also the fact that as a stillborn, you really never had any time to know or bond with him. Infant deaths are awkwards that way. Several of our friends have had miscarriages/stillbirths/infant mortality within 1st year, and I tend to catch some flak for not being particularly grieving about it. My view tends to be that these children simply were not fated for life. It would be different if it they had died through accident or some unexpected illness after they had been healthy. But these were children who were fated from the moment of conception to a short life. It's sad, but it's not the kind of thing to dwell on, IMHO.

But YMMV...I may in fact be an unempathetic bastard.

[Gamerlord]

In the morning I am going to pick out an urn for my stillborn baby brother. I wasn't going to go, but several people have insisted that I should go so I don't regret anything when I am older. I don't know why, but I haven't really cried about it at all. I am always good in emergencies involving people with mental breakdowns and head wounds, but sometimes I worry. I am sad about it, I truly am, I just haven't been uncontrollably so. I feel like I should be breaking down and going insane, based on the number of people who have asked me if I am okay. But I really am at peace with it, despite it only happening a few days ago. I just don't know.

I know what you mean.

[GlyphGryph]

I have that problem too - people expect all sorts of... emotions out of my when relatives die. Even close ones. But even then, I may grieve queitly to myself, for a while, if I was close... but I don't understand these American funerals. Wakes. Mementos.

I don't understand why I would want to dwell on it, and what purpose it would serve to focus on the fact that they are no longer there. Is that not the exact opposite of the kind of memories I would want, if ?

They are gone. Things go. That's how life is. Especially in situations like this, when they were never really there to begin with, I don't understand why people think I should be acting the way they expect.

Like, maybe if I was the mother, I could understand the issue there, but... ugh, I dunno.

[Darvi]

I have that problem too - people expect all sorts of... emotions out of my when relatives die. Even close ones. But even then, I may grieve queitly to myself, for a while, if I was close... but I don't understand these American funerals. Wakes. Mementos.

You know L' Étranger? That guy's me.

You seem to be this guy. EXACTLY like him.

[SalmonGod]

I have that problem too - people expect all sorts of... emotions out of my when relatives die. Even close ones. But even then, I may grieve queitly to myself, for a while, if I was close... but I don't understand these American funerals. Wakes. Mementos.

I don't understand why I would want to dwell on it, and what purpose it would serve to focus on the fact that they are no longer there. Is that not the exact opposite of the kind of memories I would want, if ?

I know what you mean.  I've always felt like people at funerals and grieving in general tend to be mostly focused on themselves, as if it's more about their "loss" than the person who actually died.  This has always seemed backwards to me.  I've never met anyone who was like "When I die, I want everyone to be fucking depressed and cry a lot."  I think the proper response to a person's death should be to celebrate their life.

I know that can't really apply to a stillborn situation, though... more a comment on the general discussion about grieving processes.

[Rose]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

[SalmonGod]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

How the fuck did I manage that..... fixed.

[Vattic]

I've only had one close relative die. When my Nan died I felt guilty that I wasn't sadder but hearing what people had to say about her life at the funeral and going back to the house I spent lots of summers in really phased me. Still it hurt less than I expected and we all knew it was coming and doubly so near the end. Not sure how I'd respond if it was more sudden.

[RedKing]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

And this is what is wrong with the world.
Plus, you've given me some great ideas for my will.

[Nadaka]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

And this is what is wrong with the world.
Plus, you've given me some great ideas for my will.

Don't forget to leave a little money to pay for the strippers at your wake.

[RedKing]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

And this is what is wrong with the world.
Plus, you've given me some great ideas for my will.

Don't forget to leave a little money to pay for the strippers at your wake.

I'll be like Oprah from beyond the grave.
"You get a hooker! YOU get a hooker! *YOU* get a hooker! EVERYBODY GETS A HOOKER!"

[bukitodinos]

EVERYBODY GETS A HOOKER!"

sigged

[Loud Whispers]

I dunno about you, but the few funerals I went to, nobody fucked at all.

Well....

It'd make a great funeral at least.