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[Truean]

Thank you....

Something that just occured to me: how would you react if you found that your date was a female-to-male transgender?

If you mean how would I personally react:

Depends. This is why I'm worried.

I'd be a little shocked at first, but I could probably get used to it. It would depend upon how far the person had transitioned. If they had fully transitioned and were pretty much a guy now, then no problem at all for me.

It's a question of lining up with someone's expectations and desires romantically.

A.) I could want a FtM transgendered person, after transition, because to me, they would be male.... I want a guy. If the person I'm dating is a guy (transitioned or natural), then fine. It would be a heck of a thing for me to date a FtM who had not transitioned, because that person would have the body of a female. I simply am not attracted to women in the slightest. Being honest, this is the same reason most straight men would not date me now, as I have not transitioned and appear to have the body of a male.

B.) Conversely, he wants a guy (what I appear to be PRE transition) and I don't want to be one.

In simple sum, he wants what I am currently. I don't want to be what I am currently. Whereas, with a FtM trans, I would want what them for what they wanted to be--male.

If you mean "put yourself in the other person's shoes:"

I can absolutely see and understand the shock. That thing I said about lining up with someone's expectations and desires romantically, it applies. I may not like that he could break up with me over this. It would make me rather sad. I'd be a bit depressed.

However, I would certainly understand it. I might try to explain it and persuade him not to. If my words failed to persuade him, which they might, I would accept it. He will make someone a wonderful boyfriend, and I do hope that someone is me. All the same, I would hope at worst, we end up as friends....

[Greiger]

Nothing compared to all the other posts I've been reading here, but my new boss (Somebody I very highly respect and is bordering on personal hero status) apparently got into a big fight with his partner over how little time he spends at the shop.

The partner has another job, but others have been able to make it in the same circumstances.  What he has been doing is putting a lot of money into the company to help out.  But my boss wants him physically there to help out.   The company really does need money (I'm working full time for about $200 a week as an 'independent contractor' for them since they can't currently afford to pay me as a regular employee.) and it sounds like he will just be leaving.

Sure he wasn't there very often, but when he does he was doing everything he could to help out.  He doesn't have time, but he has money, and expertise with money. 

I dunno, I think my boss is making a mistake, we need money, and the other guy is clearly pretty distraught over the whole thing.  Nothing is official, but if he leaves I'm worried about the future of the company.  Not just the money on my end, but this is pretty much my dream job, It would be pretty depressing to me for this company to go under.

Just needed to let some of that out I guess, and this seemed to be a good place for it.  Feel free to ignore my little problems.

[Truean]

Nothing compared to all the other posts I've been reading here, but my new boss (Somebody I very highly respect and is bordering on personal hero status) apparently got into a big fight with his partner over how little time he spends at the shop.

The partner has another job, but others have been able to make it in the same circumstances.  What he has been doing is putting a lot of money into the company to help out.  But my boss wants him physically there to help out.   The company really does need money (I'm working full time for about $200 a week as an 'independent contractor' for them since they can't currently afford to pay me as a regular employee.) and it sounds like he will just be leaving.

Sure he wasn't there very often, but when he does he was doing everything he could to help out.  He doesn't have time, but he has money, and expertise with money. 

I dunno, I think my boss is making a mistake, we need money, and the other guy is clearly pretty distraught over the whole thing.  Nothing is official, but if he leaves I'm worried about the future of the company.  Not just the money on my end, but this is pretty much my dream job, It would be pretty depressing to me for this company to go under.

Just needed to let some of that out I guess, and this seemed to be a good place for it.  Feel free to ignore my little problems.

Significant enough, especially given that your livelihood is tied up in it.

The boss who is there all the time sounds more like a "sweat equity" kind of guy. He's the one who physically works more. The other one is the money person, who is equally if not moreso on the hook.

Not a good thing to get in the middle of. This is where attorneys sometimes get called into the mix and it's rarely if ever fun.

[Greiger]

Yea that seems to be the description of it.  Today is the only day in 2 months that my boss hasn't been at work counting weekends.  And only because his wife told him to stay home to cool off while I watch the shop.  Which is about all I'm doing because we have no computers to fix right now and it is currently pouring outside so we aren't getting any walk ins.  Really the only thing I'm doing tech related is defragging the in-house computers right now.

Another thing is that I like working with the partner.  He doesn't know a thing about computers, but he is much better with clients than I am.  I always get nervous and jittery.  He was helping me work with clients better, I was teaching him some of the more common things we help the walk-in clients with.

[Truean]

Yea that seems to be the description of it.  Today is the only day in 2 months that my boss hasn't been at work counting weekends.  And only because his wife told him to stay home to cool off while I watch the shop.  Which is about all I'm doing because we have no computers to fix right now and it is currently pouring outside so we aren't getting any walk ins.  Really the only thing I'm doing tech related is defragging the in-house computers right now.

Another thing is that I like working with the partner.  He doesn't know a thing about computers, but he is much better with clients than I am.  I always get nervous and jittery.  He was helping me work with clients better, I was teaching him some of the more common things we help the walk-in clients with.

Yeah, wrangling (especially paying) clients is big. The marketing of that alone is huge. It's a major thing thinking where the fish would be in that one (where people who would potentially need computer repairs would be). I never used to think that the social aspect of stuff would matter too terribly much. Then I realized that you've got to be a social son of a bitch to cast a large, wide net in the insane hope that somehow you'll reel in a client that needs and can pay for your services. [sigh].

Edit: In other news:

Unreasonable client is unreasonable, is business owner who screwed up. There's a thing called the UCC. It is big; it sucks; and it varies by state. It even matters which law of which state applies.

Client wants simple "Yes"/"No" answer to "can they do that?" Sounds simple: is not.

First, big UCC and complex facts I mentioned can lead to major court case. Second, Bullshit. There is no simple, ever, especially not here. I can read your mind and see the future. Yes I can. If I say, "yes," then you'll pout because you're losing money and then demand "WHY?" This will lead into a massive discussion and how to minimize the damage to you. If I say, "No," then you'll want to know how to stop them and what that would take/cost. There absolutely and completely is no "yes"/"no." No matter how much you want one. It is more complex than that.

I have 11 pages of report (and counting) and without exaggeration 291 cases (and counting) on my desk. Does client care? No.

[MaximumZero]

@Truean: Regarding dates, you could find a bisexual or a pansexual. Being bi myself, it's not so much the physical attraction as it is a generic need for intimacy (although being physically attractive doesn't hurt.) You seem to be a very pleasant person to be around (sometimes too much so, especially with clients ) and I hope things turn out for the best for you.

[Truean]

[hugs] Thanks Max. Honestly, someone who doesn't care about gender or is attracted to either sounds like a reasonable solution if possible.

[MaximumZero]

[hugs] Bonus for them, they get the best of both worlds.

[Pnx]

Would you set two friends of yours up on a date knowing one of them was transgender without telling the other...?

A little late to answer, but I would say it would be so that they could get to know you without judging you based on that... maybe?

[Truean]

Would you set two friends of yours up on a date knowing one of them was transgender without telling the other...?

A little late to answer, but I would say it would be so that they could get to know you without judging you based on that... maybe?

Also possible.

[Vector]

Don't think I can date this guy.  Expecting cuddling after 4 dates is a huge no-go.

I'm tired of this.

[Nadaka]

Don't think I can date this guy.  Expecting cuddling after 4 dates is a huge no-go.

I'm tired of this.

Sorry to hear that. But welcome back anyway.

[kaijyuu]

A wild Vector appears!

/throw pokeball

[Mephansteras]

Don't think I can date this guy.  Expecting cuddling after 4 dates is a huge no-go.

I'm tired of this.

Is it him that's rejecting the cuddling or you?

Either way, I agree that it sounds like a mismatch in intimacy needs.

[Duke 2.0]

Don't think I can date this guy.  Expecting cuddling after 4 dates is a huge no-go.

I'm tired of this.

Good to see you again Vector. Although this feels like something you could talk over with him? Unless I'm not reading into the word 'expecting' enough.