Thank you....
Something that just occured to me: how would you react if you found that your date was a female-to-male transgender?
If you mean how would I personally react:Depends. This is why I'm worried.
I'd be a little shocked at first, but I could probably get used to it. It would depend upon how far the person had transitioned. If they had fully transitioned and were pretty much a guy now, then no problem at all for me.
It's a question of lining up with someone's expectations and desires romantically.
A.) I could want a FtM transgendered person, after transition, because to me, they would be male.... I want a guy. If the person I'm dating is a guy (transitioned or natural), then fine. It would be a heck of a thing for me to date a FtM who had not transitioned, because that person would have the body of a female. I simply am not attracted to women in the slightest.
Being honest, this is the same reason most straight men would not date me now, as I have not transitioned and appear to have the body of a male. B.) Conversely, he wants a guy (what I appear to be PRE transition) and I don't want to be one.
In simple sum, he wants what I am currently. I don't want to be what I am currently. Whereas, with a FtM trans, I would want what them for what they wanted to be--male. If you mean "put yourself in the other person's shoes:"I can absolutely see and understand the shock. That thing I said about lining up with someone's expectations and desires romantically, it applies. I may not like that he could break up with me over this. It would make me rather sad. I'd be a bit depressed.
However, I would certainly understand it. I might try to explain it and persuade him not to. If my words failed to persuade him, which they might, I would accept it. He will make someone a wonderful boyfriend, and I do hope that someone is me. All the same, I would hope at worst, we end up as friends....