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[Great Order]

I'm really upset at myself. I put so much effort into trying to maintain a sleep schedule, but I just keep fucking it up over and over and over again. It's like, I'll wake up (hopefully) before noon, then the entire day is over in the blink of an eye, and it feels so unfair to just go to bed, so I'll do something and then before I know it like five or six hours have passed and the sun is coming up, and I'm reduced to being a sleep deprived piece of shit again. It really does feel like my perception of time is fucked up or something.

I just can't be trusted to govern myself. Goddamnit.

Revenge bedtime procrastination, it's a thing. I've got it too, apparently it's fairly common among neurodivergent people (Although there's no actual studies as far as I'm aware, so it could be wrong), don't know if you fall under that umbrella but if you do then it could be related to that.
Afraid I can't give any advice, I don't know how to deal with it myself but then I've never looked up tactics.

[Frumple]

I've had some luck in the past with really aggressive alarms, set to when I need to either get up or shut down. Like, "If I had neighbors, I'd be getting noise complaints" level aggressive. It helped me break out of sleeping patterns that so bad they were literally causing memory loss, heh.

When you can't trust your sense of time, sometimes setting up something else to stay on top of it can help.

[JoshuaFH]

@JoshuaFH
1) Find that "it feels so unfair to just go to bed" thought.
2) Review and assess the series of thoughts and feelings you have before and after that moment.
3) You will find the thought is linked to some "good-times memory" that is important to you and is very emotional, and the "follow-up thought" after that is where you make the emotional decision to stay up later. That "follow-up thought" is the one you need to modify... into something that recognizes the emotional content of the "good-times" memory but makes the decision to "relax and sleep this time", because while it was "unfair to just go to bed" back when you were kids and playing, it is not unfair now to allow your body to work on some maintenance.

A key thing here is that the "follow-up thought" to the "it feels so unfair to just go to bed" thought, includes triggering the release of your body's reserves which include body-grown-stimulants. So, these attempts to keep a sleep schedule are failing after the stimulants were dumped into your bloodstream. You need to change the thought cycle before the stimulant release.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Your body always holds back reserves of energy for emergencies that involve great gain or great loss, and it holds back multiple layers of those reserves. That moment an athlete chooses to dig in and finds more energy reserves, those emotional decisions to push themselves trigger stimulant releases. You are doing that each night you decide to stay up, and this is putting your body into a daily crisis, not because of a predator or a food-less environment, but because you are trying to repeat the joy of staying up late some night when you were young.

Critically review that moment because it will surely drive your health to ruin.

For me, it was playing an immersive video game at a friend's house and choosing to stay up all night because I couldn't play the same game at home. And I did similar all-nighters with other games over the years even though I could play the game at home.

I appreciate the insight here, makes sense man.

[martinuzz]

39 police officers and 3 police dogs were wounded. 8 Police officers are in critical condition with broken bones and cut wounds.

Why? Because extreme right nazi party English Defence League thought it was a good idea to attack the police for the children that were stabbed and killed by a 17 year old, a few days ago. The boy who did it had not a white colour of skin, so ofcourse, the nazis had to go and trash the police.

Sad that British police don't carry firearms. They should have shot dead all the nazi fucks.

[dragdeler]

Police dogs are a fundamentally bad thing, and i will never feel bad for one of these anxious domineering shit shepards to have bricks thrown at them. Nobody got killed and you want to shoot these people? ok then

Im noy even that anti police, i am anti judge, policemen in europe are still somewhat normal grunts only doing thrir job.

But I can enjoy the shit out of them clashing with hooligans. Sadly no policehorses were butchered on the spot.



This is a societal choice, panem et circenses. Ever looked up the police budget of football games? Yeah sure fifa wants to wash their hands of them, sure fifa are the good guys in the room whatever. Volker Pispers had a great sketch where he  compared how much a prisoner, an east german, and a person employed in a mining business cost the state, and basically broke down how much cheaper it would have been to emprison all east germans, but even that pales to the kind of subsidies ground extraction businesses are getting.

[martinuzz]

It is so horrible to abuse the tragic death of young children to just go out and attack the police because it was a coloured kid who did it and they hate foreigners.

But okay. Don't shoot them unless in self defence but do lock them up for a very long time.

[Great Order]

Gah, I think I'm going to need to get an allergy panel. Something keeps on making me sneeze, my nose run and my eyes get bloodshot and itchy, and antihistamines aren't doing much for it. It's not hayfever, though I think I have that, since it goes off on days with low pollen counts. Maybe it's dust, maybe it's the detergent I'm using, maybe it's something else I've spontaneously developed an allergy to, I don't know.

EDIT: OK, maybe not an allergy panel, but I need something to deal with this. Also need to find out the cause, that'd be great.

[anewaname]

Do a sweep of your living area, send all fabrics through the laundry, throw out all corrugated cardboard that isn't crispy dry, and vacuum all the rugs twice. This will clear out most dust and mildew/mold spores.

In the summer, often there is condensation in certain rooms. Do a 15 minute inspection of all bathrooms, laundry rooms, and basement areas; you are looking for water condensate dripping off the toilet's reservoir tank or dripping off water/sewer pipes in the basement, or slow leaks in water pipes. Anywhere that water can collect and soak into wood or sheetrock, the black mold lives and spores, effecting people who don't have pollen allergies.

[Great Order]

Getting a bit dissociative. I think it might be my SSRI, I'm past the point of use where the usual unpleasantness comes in so I'm overdue something. Usually it's emotional blunting, this time it's like I'm viewing my life through a screen.

On the bright side, there's a common buzzard flying around the field out the back of my house. Nice to see that.

[zhijinghaofromchina]

My maternal grandmother is in hospital due to her late-stage Parkinsonism . A minimally invasive craniotomy would perform on her, which would almost completely alleviate her symptons .Unluckily ,these days she was infected by the coronal virus and the sugery was postponed .
I hoped that she can become better from the horribly shaking disease ,  she is one of my dearest family member .

[nenjin]

I got some news that hurt.

For about a year and a half, I've been talking to someone in another state. It never materialized into a relationship due to mostly her never making the time for it or treating it seriously. If you've read my posts on this before you're probably familiar with it.

I just got informed by her boss that he let her go.

Turns out, she's had a drinking problem for a while and it finally escalated to the point he needed to fire her.

It explains a lot about how we interacted. How I felt like she always had a secret life she wasn't telling me about. I charitably assumed it was just single mother life, while fearing it was something else.

I texted her offering support but also alluding to the fact that maybe we don't truly mean anything to each other. And she took that about as expected. My bad I guess, I was really trying to say it wasn't truly my business.

I feel sad. I really care about her even though she almost never returned that in meaningful ways. And I have no illusions left about being involved in her life. But she's still my friend and someone I care about. I just got through the hell that was my mother's alcoholism. And she knew all about how that affected me. Which probably explains why she never opened up to me about her own struggles, because she was going down the same path.

Still, it feels bad. I'm thankful this happened once I'd learn to emotionally distance myself from her, or I'd be a real fucking basket case right now. I'll get over her problems since they're not mine and she's not keen on sharing them with me anyways. But for right now, I feel like I've been punched in the heart.

[Truean]

[Please do not quote]

For what it's worth, that sucks and it sounds like there wasn't anything you could do. In my experience with ... somewhat similar instances of people with severe substance abuse,  you can't save them unless they want to save themselves. In the event they really, really want to change, that's one thing, and it can happen.... However, I think you know if they just don't / won't ... that's something else. I think it's important to say it wasn't your fault, even if it sounds odd, because you know it's not your fault. The issue may be if you feel it's not your fault rather than if you know it isn't. Feeling and knowing can be different. At least, I find that's common.

If it helps, I've had 2 (3 if you count online) friends come back totally from addiction, but a ... large number that have not. So, I can relate, and it is hard. Point being, you aren't alone in feeling this way.

It sounds like you gave this person a chance, which is nice of you. It's a shame she has her issues impacting her to the point it hits her job into fired territory. If someone is day drinking, or hung over that bad, then at that point, professional help time.... If they won't, and they don't want to, well ... that's a choice they make with bad odds of a good outcome: refusing help.

Entirely understandable to feel as you do.

[Great Order]

I swear the world's become disorganised the past month. Everything I do can't be done without inordinate amounts of faff.

Latest is trying to get my hormones sorted at a new GP. There was a mess trying to move GP which meant I ran out of hormones (After my previous GP or the chemist lost my repeat prescription), now I'd sent off the shared care form to the new GP, got told it had arrived and they'd send off the prescription. Wednesday I go to get it and whaddya know, it's not arrived. Then I get a text, apparently I never signed the shared care document. I ring them yesterday, and they're shut early for some unexplained reason. Ring them today and guess fucking what, I fucking signed it and some dolt there just hadn't noticed that. NOW they have to get the GP to sign it too. Except it's moving into the weekend so that's not going to be done soon assuming that they don't cock up *again*.

[Grim Portent]

Gran's mental health seems to have taken another step down after her last UTI. We haven't had a proper lucid day in weeks, she's always subject to several delusions, she can't remember who's who in the family anymore, and she can't understand the concept that people go to work for a sizable chunk of the day. She's almost always convinced people are stealing from her and that her houses (she only has one) have been moved into by other relatives.

This in turn is giving my mental health a hammering. Interacting with her is extremely draining, I feel tired all the time, and I'm finding it increasingly hard to maintain composure when she just keeps rambling about everyone else being part of some sort of conspiracy against her.

[nenjin]

My gran is starting to get there at 92. The dementia is setting in. She also thinks there's conspiracies against her but they're fairly minor so far. She's still happy to see us so we're counting that as a blessing.