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[SalmonGod]

If you're alright with playing online and just want D&D, this subreddit will find you a group in no time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/lfg/

[Grim Portent]

There's online DnD!?

There's two main ways people play D&D online, play-by-post and voicechat/roll20 type games.

Play-by-post is basically how a lot of forum games here work but with actual character sheets set up, you all have your characters set up and available online for the GM to check and the game takes place in a forum thread with everything being described and resolved in posts. They tend to be very slow just by nature of the medium.

Roll20 (and similar sites) have maps, character tokens and voicechat so you can play in real time without being in the same location. My current group plays 5e D&D with our GM skyping us from Canada while the players are all sat around a table.

A lot of gaming forums have areas you can post to try and arrange or join an online game.

[Reelya]

Well, 5e released a free player's guide with all the basic classes and an archetype (specialisation) for each class. Pretty sure most if not everything you need to run a game can be found in srds online legally.

As for friends, can't help you there really. If you're looking to play in the flesh, try a gaming hobby store or something. Online is a lot easier.

meetup.com is also really good for finding local game groups.

[EnigmaticHat]

I would add a caveat to online D&D: everyone is online or no one is online.  Every now and again a group will have at least one person skype* in via a laptop to an otherwise in-person meeting.  It never works well.  The person who's a laptop face can have a hard time telling what's going on.  The people who are in the in-person group will often unintentionally exclude the online people.  I tried it a couple times and found it vaguely distressing.

The one thing that can work is to have to have ONLY the DM skype in.  Cause they can't be ignored, and they can tell everyone to make their rolls in front of the camera.  Still not ideal however.

*and by skype I mean discord, because skype always has some kind of technical problem and discord Just Works^tm.

[martinuzz]

Finally, I am feeling that this flu is retreating from my body. That took a while. Five full days, crazy, never been sick that long my entire life.

Tip of the day:
If your nose is completely raw from blowing it too much, and you don't have purol, nivea, vaseline or somesuch.. Olive oil will help pretty well too. It won't really remoisturize it, but it will stop the burning.

[Fniff]

Spoiler: This book belongs in Fallout (click to show/hide)

[Sirus]

...what? BECOME AN WHAT?!

[Fniff]

...what? BECOME AN WHAT?!

Well, an atomic bomb, presumably.

[Dunamisdeos]

...what? BECOME AN WHAT?!

Well, an atomic bomb, presumably.

How to perform basic fission inside your own body.

[birdy51]

...what? BECOME AN WHAT?!

Well, an atomic bomb, presumably.

How to perform basic fission inside your own body.

I've always wanted to be called the bomb.

[TD1]

It's really just the Karma Sutra.

How to be a sex bomb, sex bomb.

[Sirus]

Shootin' up the aliens with our shiny laser guns.

...wait, wrong song.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

5e. +1 shortsword, level four sneak attack, critical hit, savage attack and great rolling.

The shambling mound that had swallowed me was bisected. I fucking hate nature, man.

How did you get a sneak attack on something that swallowed you?

If I recall correctly in 5e Rogues get sneak attack damage anytime they have Advantage (a reroll to hit) on their attack roll. Being inside something probably counts as a reason to get a bonus to stab it's innards.

Advantage or within five feet of an allied combatant. Suffice it to say Sneak Attack has little to actually do with sneaking, but there isn't really a good rename. Surprise attack is taken, as is critical attack. There's quite a few misnomers of this kind in 5th.

[Grim Portent]

Precise Attack or Dirty Fighting would fit better imo.

I think they kept calling it Sneak Attack purely for legacy reasons, same as a bunch of bad parts of the game.

[Frumple]

Advantage or within five feet of an allied combatant.

Yes, yes. Excuse me while I find a source of summon monster and hide a lizard in my jacket for all the sneak attacks forever. My eternal thirst for extra d4s is in fact a literal monkey on my back, thank you.