Stay away from my lunch!Loki was throwing another party in the dining hall when in stomped Akigagak covered in blood and assorted bits and caring a roast. The festivities died down to watch her walk up to the table, trailing blood. Even Loki stopped in her dancing to stare at her. She looked back up at Loki standing on the tables, “You step in my food and I take your legs off.” she grumbled as she sat down.
“What happened to you?” asked Loki still starting down at her.
“Can't I just eat my food in peace?” Akigagak muttered. “I've already had to deal with one obstacle for this meal.”
Loki sat down on the table. “Come on, you can't just come in here interrupting my party with an entrance like that and not escape without providing some entertainment.”
“Yes, tell us what happened!” chimed in a few other dwarves in the room.
Akigagak groaned, “Fine, fine. Get someone to bring me a barrel of sunshine and I'll tell you.”
There was a cheer from the other dwarves and Akigagak soon found herself with a barrel of sunshine at her side and a room full of dwarves facing her eagerly.
“So there I was, on patrol looking for more slugmen or snailmen trying to sneak up on us when I started feeling a bit peckish.” she started off. “I headed back towards the fort, thinking of nothing more than what kind of roast I wanted, when I hear the tell tale glurbling of a snailman up ahead. Apparently the thing had sneaked in behind me to investigate, or possible eat, one of it's fellows I had dealt with earlier.”
(This is going to end badly for the snailman.)
“The snailman was between me and my lunch, so I grabbed my axe and charged the beast. It ran in terror of course, cowardly thing.” Akigagak paused in her story to dunk her head in the barrel at her side. “Ahhh.... As I was saying, I chased the thing through the woods. It tried dodging behind some trees but I kept on it. I caught up with it right before we reached the fort. It zigged when it should have zagged and I put my momentum to good use, sending it flying with a swipe of the broadside of my axe.”
(Akigagak punts the snailman.)
Akigagak paused again for another dunk in the barrel. “Oh yea.... Mmmm... Now where was I?”
“You had just punted the snailman.” prompted Loki.
“Right. It sailed through the air and hit a tree, stunning it. I charged up and took out my irritation at having my meal delayed with my axe. Limbs flew off and I knocked it's head clean over the tree it had hit. It was quite the mess, and you know what they say.”
“No what?” asked Loki.
“The bigger the mess the better the job.” supplied Akigagak. “Now if you don't mind, may I finish the rest of my roast?”
“Considering what you did to that snailman for getting in your way, I'm not going to be the one to tell you you can't.” said Loki grinning. “Thanks for the story.”
Akigagak mumbled something incoherent through a mouth full of roast as the rest of the party applauded her tale.
(Here in Dwarf Fortress you can tell how well done a job was by the number of body parts it results in.)
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Topic: Apexwhips - Convicts at large (Read 24006 times)