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[TantrumTime]

I had one of my starting 7 (a near legendary miner!) digging around some warm stones, trying to find the magma sea. Of course she managed to get herself killed, but hey, now I can begin work on my pump stack.

After some looking around, I found a column that was solid rock all the way from the surface to the magma, I designate an area for mining and then start mass-producing iron corkscrews. After a while i look back at the miners and see THIS on every other channeled level:

Code: [Select]

??WXW?
WWWDWW
WU.+.W
WWWWWW(W is wall, D is door, U is UristMcTrappedAndHungry)

I was able to save all the trapped dorfs, and eventually I finished the pumpstack, But once all the magma smelters where working I quickly ran out of ores to smelt. I ordered my miners back into the pumpstack shaft, to dig out some gold. I didn't bother to forbid the doors, after all, why would anyone open a door in the first place?

I then started getting messages 'UristMcDumb has bled to death'. It seems I had gravely overestimated dwarven intelligence. They were opening doors and just standing there, which had a 50/50 chance of killing them, and everyone below them as the magma flooded into the stairway. One of the dorfs opened a safe door, and then just fell asleep there, and to make everything even worse there was a ghost flying around opening doors as well.

[sonerohi]

Building a small castle on a mountain spur. The plan is to fully build the walls and have it be sealed entirely, and then dig the access tunnel, so that way no critters can rush into the fortress from the unfinished castle. Well, the masonry team of twelve dwarves is working very hard, when an ambush pops up and three of them die. I've got four soldiers stationed near the build site, and promptly move them inside the walls, to take what defensive advantage they can. The goblins, chasing my soldiers, kill all of the masonry dwarves save one, and then head inside. My masonry dwarf, the lone survivor of his crew, is bleeding from everywhere. His son, himself a mason inside the fortress, comes herp-derping across the hills to pick up the jobs that are freed up from the dead. While the soldiers are dying to the goblins inside, my dying dwarf looks at his last work, still unfinished, and dies as his son completes the exterior wall, sealing the goblins inside the ruins of his fathers dreams. Then, two weeks later, the whole fort died due to FB disease.

[Kay12]

Basically, a goblin siege that ends with 15 or so goblins getting caught is funny. Putting them in the drowning pit is funny. Pulling the lever that causes water to rush in is extremely funny, especially when they try to escape the area but fail nonetheless.

The disturbing part here is that this compares all too well to a certain historical event where the people dumped into death chambers weren't even soldiers...

[Flaede]

Adventure mode. I bit a gobbos foot off and killed him. After leaving the site, I traveled quite a bit. The next time I went in for a bite, I got the message that I had dropped the foot and attacked. It turns out that I carried the foot in my mouth half way across the continent.

Now thats pretty funny.. I cant imagine what goblin foot would taste like.. never mind half month old goblin foot! XD

And just think what people must have been whispering as he walked by.... "Is that a goblin foot in his mouth? Disgusting!"  "Someone give him a sandwich for Armok's sake!"  "Run children!  Its crazed dwarf nibbling on filthy disgusting *rotted goblin foot*!!!"

If you put bogeymen parts in your mouth, your adventurer ends up smoking them.

[Karnewarrior]

Adventure mode. I bit a gobbos foot off and killed him. After leaving the site, I traveled quite a bit. The next time I went in for a bite, I got the message that I had dropped the foot and attacked. It turns out that I carried the foot in my mouth half way across the continent.

Now thats pretty funny.. I cant imagine what goblin foot would taste like.. never mind half month old goblin foot! XD

And just think what people must have been whispering as he walked by.... "Is that a goblin foot in his mouth? Disgusting!"  "Someone give him a sandwich for Armok's sake!"  "Run children!  Its crazed dwarf nibbling on filthy disgusting *rotted goblin foot*!!!"

If you put bogeymen parts in your mouth, your adventurer ends up smoking them.

"Urist, whaddya be smokin' there?"
"Ach, this be a bogeyman finger, took 'er off some bogey I 'met' down in da marsh area."
"Bah! Yer weak; this 'ere be a month old bogey tongue. Getcha high in 'bout twelve seconds, dead in 'bout twelve more!"
"But Monom, what be this Twelve ye speak of?!"
"Damned if I know."

[Deus Machina]

Catten McPregnant has given birth to a boy!
Catten McNewmom cancels eat: seeking infant.
Catten McNewmom falls asleep in the dining hall, kid crawls toward half-finished well.
Urist McBabby has died after colliding with an object!

[Spork The Slightly Insane]

Asmel Nomalenseb, dwarven child has gone beserk!
Asmel Nomalenseb, dwarven child has entered a martial trance!
Asmel Nomalenseb, dwarven child has bled to death.

All in the span of ~2 seconds.

[Kay12]

Finished my wall, finished the bridge that allows connections to the outside world. Remarkably, of all the injuries that happened during the building of this structure and the spiked pit beneath, the worst was a broken arm... until dwarven dwarfishness caused the scaffolding being removed to collapse, killing six dwarves, and I still don't know what exactly they did to cause the cave-in, why there were six dwarves caught and killed in the impact while there should've been nothing interesting to do below the collapsed scaffolding, and what the heck is that levitating goat doing 5 z-levels above the ground...

[Werdna]

Funniest/most disturbing thing that comes to mind was a fort where I had a fort built in a caldera around a lava vent.  Skeletal elephants had trashed 5 of the first 7 dwarves on embark but the remaining two survived and the fort had grown to 100+ despite regular Skelephant asshattery.  So I'm building lovely obsidian walkways over the lava, and generally beautifying the main floor at the surface of the vent, when out of nowhere...

... a puppy head appears.  No body - just a head.  Smack dab on the floor of one of my nice new obsidian walkways over the lava vent, missing some kid by like 5 squares.  Just a head! 

I had that game paused for at least a minute or two, laughing in total horror and confusion, scrolling around and trying to figure out what the hell had happened.  Well it turns out when I finally thought to z up, I finally found the body, lying on a noble's balcony (which jut out one tile into the caldera).  And of course, about 20 z's up from there, I find the smug Skelephant that had chucked the pup down. 

[Iapetus]

Old 40d fortress.

Dug too deep and unleashed the nameless terrors.

One of my champion, artefact-equipped swordsdwarves mananged to kill multiple demons before being crippled.  The surviving demons left him alone and went up into the fortress where they fought and killed his wife (who was also a champion solider and who killed several before she died).

The one surviving demon went on a rampage, killing or crippling most of my dwarves (with most of the rest dying to tantrum spirals or madness). 

Eventually, the fortress was reduced to a living population of a few bed-ridden casulties, a tax collector who was too stuck-up to tend to them, and my crippled champion lying in the mines deep below the earth.

He gradually starved to death over a period of several months; a particularly unfair death for such a worthy hero, made all the more senseless because it was ultimately the result of a noble's aversion to manual labour.

[kaenneth]

I had built a huge pressurised water tank, 40x40x10, over a grid a of fortifications, over a spiral wall to the main entry of the fort.

Goblins arrive, Dwarves sent inside, goblins enter the death spiral, inner water lock sealed level pulled, prepare to flush the goblins...

...

why is there a baby on top of a wall between fortifications? there was no path to it, solid floor above, so couldn't have been dropped...

...

(projectile birthing?)

...

Nirvana album cover successfully replicated.

[Aiyon]

Sorry if this is Necro-ing the thread. I'm not really used to forums.
What happened with mine isn't disturbing as such, it's just pretty impressive.

So I had a migrant metalworker who was attacked by a badger boar on his way to the fortress.
His upper left leg ends up with a bruised muscle, but he kills the badger boar.
So much later, deep underground I'm walling off a cavern to set up a base when somehow a giant toad makes it to the stairs.
Now for some reason I'd forgotten to make a militia. My metalworker is on the stairs the frog is coming up.
Just a reminder, this is an unarmed metalworker with no training except a fight against a badger boar, and no armour or weapons.
The giant toad attacks, but no matter how many head injuries he sustains, my metalworker refuses to stay down. Eventually he's knocked out, but the Toad is wounded to such an extent that it runs off, leaving him lying unconscious on the stairwell.
Later, he gets up.
I made him lead my militia. He has never worn armor or used weapons... he just beats things up.

Across his career he has survived having his left eye ripped off, an artery in his head opened, his leg gashed, and being gored in the upper back, stomach, lower left leg and right shoulder.
Not even a cave-in could kill him. He just finds a way back every time.

[Twitch]

I lost a mason from my first migrant waves to Badger Boars. Without a free hand to build a coffin, I let him rot on the surface.
Shortly after he began to haunt my fort, I opened up a coffin for his skeleton. My dwarves proceeded to bury his severed left foot and put him to rest, satisfied with his burial, as the rest of his body continued to decay by the brook.

TL;DR: A Dwarf's soul is contained in his left foot.

[Aiyon]

"FistFacer latchs on to caravan guards left arm"
"Elf Caravan guard falls to the ground"
"FistFacer screws Elf Caravan Guard in the head and crushes the brain" <-- WTF!!

I have to say I had a good laugh at that one! Never thought he would use a screw pump as a weapon and at the time had no idea e was even carrying one!  XD

That's amazing, btw. Siggied.

[Table Turning]

One of my first forts, have a mediocre bridge system where I can drop invaders into a multi z level fall into a nice pit of spikes.

Had 2 guard dogs near it to get any that didn't die to it.

Pulled the lever to stop a kobald thief, and the kobald thief falls and dies.

Look back, oh shit, one of the guard dogs is missing.

War dog has been impaled on spikes.  FUCK.  Dig entrance to the pit of spikes, and a dwarf simply hauls the dog off of the spikes and drags it back to its chain.

The dog is very injured at this time, a broken lung, multiple broken legs, ribs, etc.

Once the dog is put back on the chain, it gives birth to a litter of puppies.

The mother dog survived until the entire fortress fell.