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[Libash_Thunderhead]

Wait, but can they freeze to death actually?

[Eric Blank]

Hang on. Went to sleep? Don't vampires never, ever sleep? Are you sure you don't have a perfectly normal hammerlord locked up in a box?

Presumably he meant resting in the hospital bed. Technically asleep, being unconscious.


And yeah, creatures can freeze to death. Eventually. Or very quickly, if exposed to something extremely cold.

[Silverfox]

One of my military dwarfs got punched real bad by a bronze colossus, resulting in broken ankles and a broken hand, plus some internal wounds, broken ribs and other stuff. By chance, my inexperienced medic got him to survive and fixed much of it. Except, and I have no clue why, the ankles and the hand. Said dwarf got up, decided to no longer stay in the hospital and returned to civilian duties, crawling through the corridors on his knees while hauling heavy stuff with his healthy hand.

The mental image of it made me laugh and cry at the same time.

The bloody and broken badass actually recovered over time, being able to stand after half a year, and being whole and healthy now.

[steel jackal]

One of my military dwarfs got punched real bad by a bronze colossus, resulting in broken ankles and a broken hand, plus some internal wounds, broken ribs and other stuff. By chance, my inexperienced medic got him to survive and fixed much of it. Except, and I have no clue why, the ankles and the hand. Said dwarf got up, decided to no longer stay in the hospital and returned to civilian duties, crawling through the corridors on his knees while hauling heavy stuff with his healthy hand.

The mental image of it made me laugh and cry at the same time.

The bloody and broken badass actually recovered over time, being able to stand after half a year, and being whole and healthy now.

if the part is listed as blue in their wounds screen (v-w) it has lost partial function and there is nothing doctors can do but take away the pain and stop any bleeding. but depending on the dwarves ability to heal, it can heal to the point where it is usable again. they were probably crawling because of a lack of crutches.

[Vorox]

A gelded migrant walked into my fortress once. Something he saw must have caused an existential crisis because he just stood there until he died.

[Atarlost]

In 261 the weresomethingorother (the records don't say and it happened a while ago) Kon Dwelledstraps came to Squarebridge.  I sealed up my surface access hatches leading down from my raised battlements and set the civilian alert.  The marksdwarves on station shot at him until he got below the surface.  With the surface hatches sealed it's nearly 500 paces down the spiral access ramp to the start of the fort.  He dragged his bleeding, ruined legs down until the full moon set and I canceled the civilian alert. 

Udib Anilingish, a glassmaker who "tends to avoid physical confrontations" decided he had to have some piece of goblin tat still laying around from the last siege and started up the ramp.  Even healed by his transformation Kon Dwelledstraps couldn't get to the surface fast enough.  Udib, in spite of being a civilian who dislikes fighting, beat poor Kon slowly to death with a -large green glass gem-.  He still has it three years later. 

[Bumber]

We never were able to reclaim the back entrance. It was basically air locked with a couple of new draw bridges that were never to be opened again since the dragon would cook friend and foe alike and there was no easy way to recapture it. All that work and planning basically turned the elaborate back entrance to my fort into a no man's land that no one but the berserk dragon ever stepped foot in again. It was truly hilarious, pathetic and epic at all the same time.

Cage trap near one of the draw bridges?

[azrael4h]

I have a child currently playing with a rotting elf's arm in the corpse pile in the upper keep grounds. Not only that, he feels nothing about death. He didn't care when the elves died. He didn't care when the troll died. He didn't care when the dwarven soldier from the fort died. He doesn't care about what others think of him, nor is he swayed by emotional appeals. He only forms fleeting and rare emotional attachments.

He's obviously a sociopath. He'll make a good doctor.

[ReynTheLord]

This fits under the funny but disturbing section.

NOTE, I'm using masterwork dwarf fortress.


So, My fort has cage traps at every possible entrance, AKA "Nothing gets in or out if they're an enemy." And All the cage traps are loaded. Now, I just go to look at my animal stockpile. Ok, A few giant roaches, some troglodyles... a plaguebearer.... WAIT WHAT?!?

This nurgle follower wannabe Was apparently captured by one of my cage traps, instead of getting in a fight, so I decided to seal it away... The disturbing part is that I avoided a FUN WELCOMING PARTY from a hateful plague creature by using traps. Meanwhile, if I used weapons, We'd have to deal with rot and undead.

[Melting Sky]

Hang on. Went to sleep? Don't vampires never, ever sleep? Are you sure you don't have a perfectly normal hammerlord locked up in a box?

No, she was most certainly a vampire. The reason she rested was she was injured and went to the hospital to recuperate. She had never slept up to this point nor eaten anything but other dwarves. She spent years locked up without food or water and just her pet dogs and masterwork possessions to keep her company. This was an old fort, but I distinctly remember thinking how strange it was to see her resting in a bed. I thought it was kind of poetic that she got to dream for the first time in decades after saving her people from the burning troll scourge.

That fortress's greatest hero was a vampire pariah shunned by her own kind. Even after years of imprisonment without feeding she did her duty and went forth and fought off the fortress's enemies instead of succumbing to the her lust for dwarven blood. I figured letting her out was going to result in at least one dwarf getting drained, but despite not feeding for years she opted instead to brave the dragon fire to do her duty and single-handedly fought off a horde of the fortress's enemies.

Before the day of the dragon, back when she was the leader of the military, she had acquired quite a long list of victims before I had caught on to her so it was surprising that once free she didn't opt to add to that list. I thought for sure after the fighting was done she was making a B line into the fortress to feed on the closest legendary dwarf she could find, but instead she just went to the hospital and laid down for some well earned rest. She didn't even tantrum after losing her only friends in the fight, the pack of pet war dogs I had given her to keep her company in her prison. Truly a great dwarf, despite her cursed existence.

[Fleeting Frames]

Hm. Wonder if there would be a clever way to ensure that she could still lead some drills for military. Could she run one from a chain, or from behind a wall grate?

Alternatively, an isolated system with dormitory bait with pressure plate to capture.

[Lozzymandias]

Back in 40.24 I embarked on a desert with terrifying deserts on 3 sides. Things got off to a...rocky start. During the first season I began the tedious "moving everything underground" business when a Giant undead Wolverine appeared over the horizon. He killed 6 of the 7, and then he disappeared as quickly as he came. The Mason/Mechanic survived because he just managed to get a door on the entrance, so his business for the next season was cutting 6 coffins, and burying his 6 long term friends at the door of the fortress.

So heres the creepy perspective. The first migrants arrive, find a single dwarf, busily digging out living space, who tells them a story of how the other six were murdered by a giant undead wolverine. Would you take his word for it?

Well they'll never know. In a years time a weremammoth appears on the map. He only manages one kill, the Mason/Mechanic. He gets up again, as he was on the part of the map that is terrifying and, it appears, reanimating. He charges the defenses and is cut down by the traps he laid all year.

So the secret of what truly happened on the 14 of Granite is known only to FloodedFrills: the giant undead wolverine, the Overseer, and Armok himself.

[Dunamisdeos]

Hang on. Went to sleep? Don't vampires never, ever sleep? Are you sure you don't have a perfectly normal hammerlord locked up in a box?

No, she was most certainly a vampire. The reason she rested was she was injured and went to the hospital to recuperate. She had never slept up to this point nor eaten anything but other dwarves. She spent years locked up without food or water and just her pet dogs and masterwork possessions to keep her company. This was an old fort, but I distinctly remember thinking how strange it was to see her resting in a bed. I thought it was kind of poetic that she got to dream for the first time in decades after saving her people from the burning troll scourge.

That fortress's greatest hero was a vampire pariah shunned by her own kind. Even after years of imprisonment without feeding she did her duty and went forth and fought off the fortress's enemies instead of succumbing to the her lust for dwarven blood. I figured letting her out was going to result in at least one dwarf getting drained, but despite not feeding for years she opted instead to brave the dragon fire to do her duty and single-handedly fought off a horde of the fortress's enemies.

Before the day of the dragon, back when she was the leader of the military, she had acquired quite a long list of victims before I had caught on to her so it was surprising that once free she didn't opt to add to that list. I thought for sure after the fighting was done she was making a B line into the fortress to feed on the closest legendary dwarf she could find, but instead she just went to the hospital and laid down for some well earned rest. She didn't even tantrum after losing her only friends in the fight, the pack of pet war dogs I had given her to keep her company in her prison. Truly a great dwarf, despite her cursed existence.

This is rad as hell. Thank you for the details.