Looking around the store, you notice the clerk by the counter seems to be hastily hiding something under the counter. These guys are always acting so sketchy... But that's none of your business, you are here for a new chair.
You begin browsing the furniture section, deciding that you should probably choose an already-talking chair instead of one that starts talking later because of an experiment or whatnot. This way you can better choose their personality, as you need one that is loyal and likes pets.
Surveying the stock, you begin interviewing the chairs to find the ideal candidate.
"Hello chairs! I am here to buy one of you and take you back to my home. I am looking for one that will fit my requirements. First off, do any of you talk?""Oh, I do!" The red one says eagerly.
"Yeah, sure." Says the blue one.
"Alright, let's start with you." You nod to the red one.
"How loyal would you say you are?""Oh I'm real loyal! My previous owner used to be the leader of the baddest wizard gang around! I mean, before he was, um, 'removed' from his position by rival gangs. But I never betrayed him, not even once! I even gave him back massages!""Hmm, I see. And how are you with pets?""Oh I'm real good with pets! My previous owner used to keep quite a few pet humans around the house before sacrificing them for some dark nefarious ritual. It was always a hoot!""Hmm, okay. You seem fairly experienced, I'll get back to you. Next, you." You walk towards the blue chair.
Meanwhile, several homeless people enter the store and start whispering to one of the clerks. They each pass something to the clerk, who then gives them something in return...
You raise an eyebrow. This town seems to have a serious homeless problem. And what are they doing at a thrift store, anyway?...
As they continue their exchange, you catch a glimpse of the clerk giving one of them what looked like a particular pair of shades.
Wait, was that the same pair of shades that belonged to one of the hooligans from the bar yesterday?... No, it's gotta be just me being paranoid...With the homeless people finished with whatever 'business' they had with the clerk, they begin leaving the store. You soon return to the interview process, turning to the blue chair.
"Ehem, so, how loyal would you say you are?""Eh, pretty loyal.""Pretty loyal?""Yeah, what's it to you? You wanna go? You think you can afford me? You can't afford half my cushion!""Umm, okay... so, do you like pets?""Nah, man, I hate those things! You put me in a house with pets and I might have to go lumberjack on your ass!""Err, okay... well, that's all for the interviews."You deliberate between the candidates and soon come to a decision.
"You." You point to the red one.
"Yay!" It hops in glee.
You pick up the chair and walk to the counter to make the purchase.
"Ah, excellent choice. That'll be 40 gold pieces, please."You make the payment, happy with your new chair. You then leave the store, bumping into another homeless person on your way out.
Okay, time to head home. Nice thing about these sapient chairs is that you don't have to carry them, they can wobble around all by themselves, albeit a little slowly.
On your way home, you see one of the hobos in the thrift store earlier, the one who received the shades from the clerk, entering the cultic temple.
Huh, isn't that gang territory?... Well, whatever, still not really your business.
And you're back! You place your newly bought chair where Lord Woodenheim used to be as your other furnitures look with wonderment and intrigue at the new arrival.
Jess Bluethorn
Health: Good, slightly hung over
Equipment:
- Master Wizard's Hat
- Master Wizard's Robes
- Master Wizard's Wand
- Magic Watch
- Silken Shoes
Inventory:
- 80 Gold
- Bumbleton Arcane University Teacher's ID
- Finer Tastes Cult Insignia
- Magically Repaired Student Essays
Feel free to control any characters, create any events anywhere, or make any kinds of suggestions you want!