You are a Janitor on board the USSS (United States Space Ship) Lexington. You were in the middle of mopping the floor of the kitchen when alarms rang throughout the ship, battering your ears with noise. As a non-combatant, in a situation like this, you are supposed to report to the escape pod section to prepare them for emergency evacuation. Right as you start running, the arteficial gravity turns off and you start floating through the hallway, but you have been trained for this. You Grab handles on the walls and pull yourself along with excelent form, as military personell float the other direction. You make it to the last set of airlocks between you and the escape pods. You punch the key to open it, and the door opens, but right as you do so, the inner airlock door, the one you hadn't opened yet, explodes. You are blown back by the explosion, and then almost immediately pulled back with the torrent of air leaving the hallway for what must be the vacuum of space. There must be a breach! As you struggle to find a handhold, you grab your emergency resperator and attach it to your mouth. You grab a handle on the wall when you look back towards the open airlock and see 3 enemy marines clambering through, with full titanium armor and gauss autocannons. They see you and take aim.
This is a storytelling game where the protagonist is a complete and utter badass. Every action the character does will be performed flawlessly, no matter how improbable or ridiculous. The story as of now has almost no plot, I will make up the plot as the story progresses based on your decisions.
Rules:
-Your suggestions can be extremely improbable and ridiculous, but not anything that is impossible for a human to do. For example, "throw a rock right through soldier one's open mouth, ripping through and striking the other soldier two in the head" Is perfect, but "Summon a phoenix to kill everything" Will not be accepted.
-Try to keep your suggestions interesting and unique. Don't use the same action over and over again, or say "kill everything." It will make it more entertaining if you are more specific and creative with your suggestions.
-Do not manipulate the environment. Instead, give suggestions for how the character can deal with the current situation. No matter what action you suggest, the character won't die.
-Don't be a troll. Suggestions like, "kill yourself." Will not be accepted.
-More rules as needed.