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[Sergarr]

Sergarr, according to my analysis you are the evil twin but Slyvester Stalone wishes to make the next Rocky Movie an autobiography of your life as the daughter of Ivan Drago and your transition from heel to face.

Yaaaaaay!

In other thread-related news, Trump is salty. Very, very salty. His twitter is filled with raeg twits. It appears that the DNC got to him.

As Clinton has said, "A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons".

[sluissa]

Here's the beauty of it though. You're all talking about the DNC in relation to Trump. He's still getting attention here even during the week that's supposed to be the DNC's big boost. They made a huge mistake focusing so much of their time on trying to take him down. There's no such thing as bad publicity.

[Orange Wizard]

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

Thanks

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

That's pretty clever, actually

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

HEY KID I NEED THAT KILLJAR

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

Stop poking holes in my wall, you bitch!

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

Fuck the tortoise, he knew the risks when he took the job

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

Pretty sure that's the plot of a doujinshi I was reading a few days ago

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

Obviously. Who the hell eats raw oyster? Shit looks like snot.

[mainiac]

Orange Wizard, you are trapped in a lucid dream.  You need to wake up now.  Your children need you.  You need to wake up now.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Don't listen to him, OW. He's just deceiving you with his devil skin. This is real. Put down the gun. Nothing is waiting on the other side.

[Rolepgeek]

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1) That was nice of them. Is it a good quality wallet, though? Like, I have to store a lot of stuff in my wallet. I'll keep it, mind, but I might not end up using it. Prob'ly react same way I do with any gift: polite gratitude.

2) Poor butterflies. I tell him to try and take photos, instead, if he can. You can't do much besides look at them, anyway. Use a high-def camera though, butterflies are pretty. They aren't moths, either.

3) Fucking hell! First moths, now wasps in the house? Goddamn. I blow on it. I've heard that gets bees and shit to go away without getting scared enough to sting.

4) I'll assume you meant girl is*, first off, but uh, I have no real idea what this girl looks like. I do apparently have a kinky relationship with my wife though. That's probably fun. Though the rug can't be that comfortable, not nude. Anyway, back to reading my weird magazine

5) SCIENCE

6) competence, mindfulness, love,

7) Okay. I don't know if you know what question means, sometimes. Only three of these are actually questions, in fact. I mean, my life sounds pretty shitty. I have a womb out of nowhere, my best friend ran off with a dude who seems rather irresponsible, and now I have to explain to the clinic that yes, I do need an abortion, no I'm not transgender, I just really don't want to try to give birth through my urethra.

8) I mean if you're gonna be choosing my opinions for me I'm not sure how I'm even supposed to respond. There isn't even technically a question to respond to here. I suppose the implied question is why, but you said that with the tortoise one so if you meant for it to be about that's what you'd say, I'm fairly sure. I supposed it's probably because honestly, oysters can give you food poisoning really easily, 'specially when raw, and boiled dog might not be too bad. I dunno. I'll try it. Doubt it was somebody's pet, after all.

If I have two cousins, five years apart in age, and the younger is a girl, what sex is the older?

Probabilistically, 51% likely to be female. You never even said they were siblings, after all. Maybe slightly lessthan 51% considering current gender norms concerning identity, but you said sex, not gender.

[mainiac]

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

6) competence, mindfulness, love,

According to my analysis you are a 36 year old woman with a PhD in International relations, living in Manhattan who gave birth to your second child 6 weeks ago.

[misko27]

There's only one way to find out.

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

Say thanks. Never use it (I already have one; unless its really nice, but I think I would still prefer what I have). Think about selling it maybe if it looks expensive. End up giving it away to someone else to win their favor.

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

Years of dealing with children with mental issues has prepared me for this. Be very polite and pretend to be engaged. Find this weirdos parents.

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

Instantly smack it. Instantly. Hard. It must die. I hate bugs, I hate when they crawl on me, and I hate getting stung.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug.

First, I think that is a somewhat odd decision by this hypothetical wife of mine. Secondly, I wonder for her health, and whether she is hiding something and/or revealing something about herself by this strange action. I wonder if it is something about me, or something about her. Also, I think that I would not like the sensation of bearskin. Probably itchy. I hate itchy.

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

I don't think I would do this. If I did, it would probably be from boredom, and to distract myself from the fact that I hate deserts and hot weather. Also mostly to see whether or not the thing can eventually figure its way out of this mess.

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

Intelligent. Well-meaning. Perseverant. Academic. Ambitious. Devoted.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

As a man I find this pregnancy to be a terrifying prospect due to my lack of a womb. The abortion would be for health reasons first. That and I wouldn't want to have a child by a cheater like that. I wouldn't want to get into this situation in the first place, but abortion is my way out of it.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

I dislike all of these foods. I suppose at least the boiled dog is edible, while I've never once in my life enjoyed seafood. I don't have any real desire to eat dog, but I don't have any particular objection, while oysters are weird and gross.

[birdy51]

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Lovingly, but I wouldn't show that I have absolutely no use for that wallet. I already have one.

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Admire the collection, but quietly worry about the killing jar. That's a strange.

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.
FUCK WASPS. FUCK IT. DIE.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Quietly wonder about wife. Assuming this is the same wife we raised the butterfly killing monster with, there may be cause for concern here.

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
Presumably because I flipped it over in the first place, I wouldn't wish to undo the work I've done. It's too late to turn back now!

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Caring. Patient. Loving.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
Ponder life and it's many regrets.

One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Continue to ponder what the hell is up with those oysters that they catch my eye more than the dog. Ponder life and it's many regrets.

[NullForceOmega]

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1 )  Thank the giver for the considerate gift.

2 )  Ask him to explain the contents of his collection, the locations at which they were obtained, thank him for sharing his hobby with me.

3 )  Remain still until the wasp decides to take flight, rise, attempt to direct the wasp outdoors, if uncooperative, terminate with extreme prejudice.

4 )  Discuss artistic qualities of the full page-spread, discuss use of composition, framing, and light present in the image.

5 )  I am in the desert, food is not plentiful, the tortoise represents both food and fluids that I require to survive, this death serves a purpose.

6 )  Insightful, involved, organized

7 )  An unfortunate situation, without the support of the child's father I will be unable to provide an environment that is conducive to raising a child, due to my poor earning potential.

8 )  Destroy absolutely everything, no survivors, scorched earth policy.  Shitty play, poor service, and bad taste, this place had it coming.

[Max™]

According to my analysis you are a middle aged Russian woman.

Я думаю, что есть что. Я полагаю, я прочь, чтобы собрать немного водки тогда.

[martinuzz]

1) It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

  One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1) Organize a lynch mob with the rest of the birthday party and kill the heretic who sponsored the death of a holy cow. Auhm Baghwan Auhm.
2) Ask him how he broke free from the factory sweatshop I sold him to
3) Panic, scream and get stung multiple times
4) Beat her for being a heartless bear hunt supporter
5) Dreams are weird like that
6) Bears, vodka, Putin
7) I run around screaming and flapping my arms looking for my d*** that was still there only a few questions earlier.
  Raw oysters are disgusting, even fake stage oysters
[/absurdism]

[mainiac]

According to my analysis...

misko is a member of a crack commando squad sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.  These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

Birdy is a 62 year old black man in Alaska who is employed making sage announcements to white people feeling self doubt for the first time in their lives.

NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Martinezz is a 23 year old transgender male living in Qom currently employed at Starbucks.

[smjjames]

Well the thing is that if Hillary is going to ruin the country, it will be through rot.

If Trump ruins the country, it will be by fire.

See, that's debatable.
I'm not the only one here who feels that Hillary might just decide to burn anything resembling a bridge with Russia and start WW3, in fact someone posted something like this within the last few pages.

I still really don't get this. I get that Clinton is a lot more hawkish than average, and has criticised Russia in the past, but I really don't see how that translates into declaring war on Russia.

She wanted to declare a no-fly zone over Syria at some point in the recent past, for one. The only way to enforce that is to shoot down Russian planes.

The no-fly zone was specific to Syrian planes and helicopters, like how the no-fly zones over Iraq during the second gulf war only applied to Iraqi planes.

Anyway: http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/07/hillary-clinton-acceptance-speech-214120 I guess both Trumps and Hillary's speeches are WYSIWYG.

[SirQuiamus]

The quality of this thread has dramatically improved in the last 15 hours or so. I propose that the thread title be emended to "Dr mainiac's Voight-Kampff testing and American politics thread."