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[AoshimaMichio]

(Kamikaze into the mouth of the volcano.)

Right, so you turn the plane into suicidal dive into the caldera. Your minions who you brought with you are too attached to their lives so they rebel and try to stop you.
3. Your suicide landing is turned into non-lethal crash landing. Everybody suffers some minor lacerations but nobody died, somehow. The jet won't fly again, however.

Fine then.  Put in earplugs.  Then ponder Zalgo again.

5. You fish top quality earplugs from your pocket and start thinking. Zalgo starts singing the song that ends Earth. Sky darkens.

"Ą̘̮̳̳͖̼̞̆́ṽ̰̝̝͟͡ͅe̖̪̰͕̥̤̥̬͆̏̇̄͘͢ ̵̟̘̬̖͉̬̮̂ͬ̑͐͑̽͗ͅm̦͎̠̻̭͇̼̬͐ͮͤͮ̎̌̅͛͞a̺͚̻͈̲̥͍̦͊̃ͥr̸̘̱̦͔͈͙̋ͮͯ̊͂ͮ͑͂͘i͉͎͈̻̇ͩ͒̍^{a̷̢̢̙̣̙̘̮ͬ͂ͮ͑̔̎ͣ̇ả̻͍͙̭̬͈ͯ̀ͧą͔̬͐ͩ̆̽̚͡͝a̙ͫ̓ͨ̀a̼̹͖̜̰͔̱͑ͦ́͟ͅa̻̫̙̟̗̟̻ͥ͊̒̓́̔̔͊a̵̠̠̳̾̓̒ͭ̀̍ä͐̌̈́̆҉͙̭̜̰̱͕̯aͭ̍̏̎ͧ҉̪̯̩ą̥͉̩̟̱͋ͥ͗͑͂̐͞a̷̷̤̩̦̖̠̤ͧͦ}"

Song stops abruptly and sky returns to it normal state. On place of Zalgo is a small pool of red liquid and glowing Master's symbol. No ending Earth yet.

((Come to think of it, I don't think I put the gloves on.))


Pay the officers for their help with a shower of insults.

Well, in that case your handcuffs are golden now. As is the officer who put them on you.
1. You talk about their competence, appearance of their mothers, daughters and wives, how fast they found you and generally try to make them as angry as possible. But for some reason they don't get angry. Instead they smile and laugh, thanking you for your praise. They must be crazy...
Now that they have figured you have Midas Touch, they quite carefully carry you into their patrol car and have your arms tied up behind you in such manner that you can't move them at all. It's time to ride back to the city.

Split all 2s.
[reverse_psy]Make my solders hate me more![/reverse_psy]

3+1. You crack a bunch of crass jokes about soldier profession. It seems to hit their sense of dark humor quite well.

Do nothing. Split final 3.

You twiddle your thumbs and foresee more bad future.



TheBiggerFish:
  Rolls: 3 4 1 3 3 1 1 1
  POWER: Chaos Sorcerer
  LOCATION: Headquarters outdoors parking lot, now badly ruined
 
Salsacookies:
  Rolls: 2 2 1 1 1 1 4
  QUEST: Cause global anarchy
  ITEM: Lighter
  ITEM: Crashed private jet
  ENEMY: 2 chemists and engineers. Have total non-interference policy regarding Master's plans.
  LOCATION: At nearest volcano.
 
crazyabe:
  Rolls: 3 1 6 6 1 5 1 6 1 2
  ITEM: French fries
  ITEM: Private jet
  SKILL: Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology (+1)
  MINION: 5 man squad of good soldiers, possibly not loyal anymore.
  LOCATION: Outside, in private jet
 
Whisperling:
  Rolls: 3 3 1 2 1 4 1 6
  POWER: Midas Touch
  POWER: Very weak earth mage.
  ITEM: Golden gloves
  ITEM: Golden handcuffs.
  LOCATION: Out of the City, in police patrol car.
  STATUS: Arrested
  WANTED FOR NUMBER OF TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS, THEFT, VANDALISM AND MAGICAL MANSLAUGHTER * 2
 
Elephant Parade:
  Rolls: 1 1 1 2 6 6 6 1 2
  POWER: Sorcerer
  LOCATION: Some city somewhere.
 
Waiters:
  Dustan Hache
  Nunzillor
  Nakéen

Rules:

• Roll for your action is picked from your roll queue, using the leftmost number first. When a roll is used in this way, you automatically gain another to keep length of queue same.
• You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the dice permanently from your queue. So every free pick is one die less in your queue.
• Supernatural and impossible feats can be performed only by picking die with 5. Next roll determines its quality.
• More dice can be gained by splitting a die that's not 1 or 6. Lowest number takes place of the split dice and the other goes to end of the queue

[TheBiggerFish]

Split 3 into 1s, ruin parking lot and disperse Zalgo's blood.

[Whisperling]

Point out to the officers that I paid in full (in fact, in solid gold!) for the gloves, and that vandalism isn't really vandalism if I'm turning things into precious metals.

[crazyabe]

Ok, now lets get a move on, we need to take over the world!

[AoshimaMichio]

Split 3 into 1s, ruin parking lot and disperse Zalgo's blood.

1. The parking lot is already ruined, so why not ruin it a bit more? For example merge your feet into stone, grow legs on those plasma spitting flesh trees and anger them. That's solid plan. 10/10.

Point out to the officers that I paid in full (in fact, in solid gold!) for the gloves, and that vandalism isn't really vandalism if I'm turning things into precious metals.

3. That's a good point, but gold is not accepted form of currency in most stores. And gold is rather heavy, in case you have not noticed, it makes doors unpleasantly difficult to open. Granted, it makes replacing vandalized parts very profitable since the parts are literally worth of their weight in gold. Shopkeepers still have to replace those doors. Who knows, perhaps it will be considered as mitigation.
Anyway, it was nice chatting with you, but it is now time to get into cell and wait for your lawyer. Meanwhile, could you... could you perhaps turn this wrist watch golden?

Ok, now lets get a move on, we need to take over the world!

3. Good idea. But where you will start from?

Spoiler: Playah (click to show/hide)

TheBiggerFish:
  Rolls: 4 1 3 3 1 1 1 2 3
  POWER: Chaos Sorcerer
  ENEMY: Plasma spitting flesh trees growing from massive mobile metal/plastic/glass flowers.
  STATUS: Merged with ground
  LOCATION: Headquarters outdoors parking lot, now badly ruined
 
Salsacookies:
  Rolls: 2 2 1 1 1 1 4
  QUEST: Cause global anarchy
  ITEM: Lighter
  ITEM: Crashed private jet
  ENEMY: 2 chemists and engineers. Have total non-interference policy regarding Master's plans.
  LOCATION: At nearest volcano.
 
crazyabe:
  Rolls: 1 6 6 1 5 1 6 1 2 3
  ITEM: French fries
  ITEM: Private jet
  SKILL: Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology (+1)
  MINION: 5 man squad of good soldiers, possibly not loyal anymore.
  LOCATION: Outside, in private jet
 
Whisperling:
  Rolls: 3 1 2 1 4 1 6 6
  POWER: Midas Touch
  POWER: Very weak earth mage.
  ITEM: Golden gloves
  ITEM: Golden handcuffs.
  LOCATION: Prison cell, police station, the City.
  STATUS: Arrested
  WANTED FOR NUMBER OF TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS, THEFT, VANDALISM AND MAGICAL MANSLAUGHTER * 2
 
Elephant Parade:
  Rolls: 1 1 1 2 6 6 6 1 2
  POWER: Sorcerer
  LOCATION: Some city somewhere.
 
Waiters:
  Dustan Hache
  Nunzillor
  Nakéen

Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)

• Roll for your action is picked from your roll queue, using the leftmost number first. When a roll is used in this way, you automatically gain another to keep length of queue same.
• You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the dice permanently from your queue. So every free pick is one die less in your queue.
• Supernatural and impossible feats can be performed only by picking die with 5. Next roll determines its quality.
• More dice can be gained by splitting a die that's not 1 or 6. Lowest number takes place of the split dice and the other goes to end of the queue

[Salsacookies]

I split a 2. attempt to call for help

[TheBiggerFish]

Subsume the plasma spitting flesh trees into myself.  Also, as I am now the planet because I'm merged with it, test my senses.

[Whisperling]

Touch the watch, of course. It doesn't hurt to be nice.

When the officers leave, do a few jumping jacks in the cell, just to pass the time.

[crazyabe]

Grab 3: Lets start in Vegas!

[Elephant Parade]

Sit down.

[AoshimaMichio]

I split a 2. attempt to call for help

1. Having no one helpfull in earshot and you hostile ex-minions licking their wounds, you figure it would be best to salvage radio from the wreck. As you try to do so, a random spark ignites the jet fuel.
2. Jet fuel burns bright and hot. Wrecked cockpit becomes an room from nightmares as it fills with hot smoke and toxic gasses. There, in caldera of dormant volcano, you inhale too much of toxic gasses, pass out and burn to death.

NEXT TEST SUBJECT! Dustan Hache! You're in headquarters.

Subsume the plasma spitting flesh trees into myself.  Also, as I am now the planet because I'm merged with it, test my senses.

Planet? No, you simply fused your legs to stone. That doesn't make you a planet yet.
4. Before the trees can spit anything at you, you pull them to you, merging all flesh, metal, plastic and glass together into a single entity. You are now a flesh monster. Too many eyes, mouths, legs and other body parts. Too many brains too. Each screaming at you in terror or rage.

Touch the watch, of course. It doesn't hurt to be nice.

When the officers leave, do a few jumping jacks in the cell, just to pass the time.

You turn around and officer touches your hand with the watch. Thanks!
3. It is very hard to keep balance when your arms are tied tightly behind your back. After few jumps you figure this is not working very well for you.

Grab 3: Lets start in Vegas!

3. Sounds nice. It's a bit too far without refueling. The jet lands at Lisbon Portela Airport, Portugal. All you need is to pay for refuel and fly over Atlantic. Hopefully you bought your passport and wallet.

Sit down.

Trying to bypass your 1's? Nah, mate, when life gives you lemons, it squeezes the juice into your wounds!
1. You sit down by nearby alley that everybody seems to be avoiding. That's good, you don't exactly need company right now. A moment later a hornet buzzes by. Then another. Three. Ten. The whole god damn swarm!
1. And oh good lord of magic how they sting! Within moments you're hyperventilating, your heart beat irregular, throbbing headache. Then you are running away, pointlessly swatting hornets away. Oh right, you're a sorcerer! Burn the motherfuckers!
1. You burn yourself while mysteriously granting all wasps in world fire resistance borderlining immunity.

NEXT TEST SUBJECT! Nunzillor!

Spoiler: Playah (click to show/hide)

TheBiggerFish:
  Rolls: 4 1 3 3 1 1 1 2 3
  POWER: Chaos Sorcerer
  ENEMY: Plasma spitting flesh trees growing from massive mobile metal/plastic/glass flowers.
  STATUS: Flesh monster. Screams in mind.
  LOCATION: Headquarters outdoors parking lot, now badly ruined
 
Dustan Hache:
  Rolls: 6 1 4 5 4 2 5 1 4 5
  LOCATION: Headquarters
 
crazyabe:
  Rolls: 1 6 6 1 5 1 6 1 2
  ITEM: French fries
  ITEM: Private jet
  SKILL: Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology (+1)
  MINION: 5 man squad of good soldiers, possibly not loyal anymore.
  LOCATION: Lisbon Portela Airport, Portugal.
 
Whisperling:
  Rolls: 1 2 1 4 1 6 6 6
  POWER: Midas Touch
  POWER: Very weak earth mage.
  ITEM: Golden gloves
  ITEM: Golden handcuffs.
  LOCATION: Prison cell, police station, the City.
  STATUS: Arrested
  WANTED FOR NUMBER OF TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS, THEFT, VANDALISM AND MAGICAL MANSLAUGHTER * 2
 
Nunzillor:
  Rolls: 1 2 1 4 5 6 6 1 5 1
  LOCATION: Headquarters.
 
Waiters:
  Nakéen

Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)

• Roll for your action is picked from your roll queue, using the leftmost number first. When a roll is used in this way, you automatically gain another to keep length of queue same.
• You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the dice permanently from your queue. So every free pick is one die less in your queue.
• Supernatural and impossible feats can be performed only by picking die with 5. Next roll determines its quality.
• More dice can be gained by splitting a die that's not 1 or 6. Lowest number takes place of the split dice and the other goes to end of the queue

Hint: Don't let too many 1's group together.

[crazyabe]

grab my 5, grab Dustan Hache's last 5: Access the universal player inventory and stat editer for myself.
((yep, that is technicly a legal thing to do, want to know what I mean? I shall quote...

You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the die permenently from your queue. so every free pick is one die less in your queue.

...the underlined part is the most important part, It makes it so anyone can use any rolls, but they won't be used up by anyone else do to that rule's wording... Literal interpertations for the win!))

[Whisperling]

Hum a dirge, insult whoever is watching the security camera feed.

[Dustan Hache]

Become a necromancer. Use a 5 to Become a Lich.

[AoshimaMichio]

grab my 5, grab Dustan Hache's last 5: Access the universal player inventory and stat editer for myself.
((yep, that is technicly a legal thing to do, want to know what I mean? I shall quote...

You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the die permenently from your queue. so every free pick is one die less in your queue.

...the underlined part is the most important part, It makes it so anyone can use any rolls, but they won't be used up by anyone else do to that rule's wording... Literal interpertations for the win!))

Do you see that? Right over there? Looks like a bunch of 1's.  Nice catch!