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[Salsacookies]

Okay, ask Master how I may spread Chaos while simultaneously pleasing him

[Elephant Parade]

Select far-future 4; explain that one of my spells, Potato Analysis III, has informed me that the meal is, in fact, poisoned. Make it clear that I don't think the chefs poisoned it—rather, someone in charge of ingredient preparation did. Leave the mess hall.

[Whisperling]

Buy a pair of gloves with a golden rock or something. Accept change if it's offered, but otherwise don't bother.

[crazyabe]

grab five, gain a Degree in reverse psychology.

[AoshimaMichio]

Kill Zalgo already!
Preferably five seconds ago!
Then turn the lights back on!

6. There's no kill like overkill, right? Only "Open fire" and "I need to reload". You start blindly throwing horribly overpowered spells. Oops, that was your statue. Sorry! And there goes elevator into headquarters. When darkness finally lifts you find that Zalgo is still there, tanking your magic like a champ, though it seems it has gained few extra arms, mouths, eyes and tentacles. And is bigger than before.
The parking lot has changed drasticly. Trees made out of bones, skin, fat and eyeballs growing out of large flowers of steel, plastic and glass shooting sparks of electricity between each other. Grand. You feel like Master might not like this...
Zalgo returns the fire! Flesh trees grow teethy mouths, each of them shouting various horrible things about you and Master while worshipping Zalgo. Eyes grow black, split open and spit out massive streams of pure plasma at you. 6. You spin conductive forcefield around yourself, collecting all the plasma before releasing it all out. When ringing in your head clears you see that mountain side is carved with new charred canyons.

Okay, ask Master how I may spread Chaos while simultaneously pleasing him

4. You stroll back to the throne room, and exit a minute later. You don't exactly remember what happened there, but you know the answer for your question. Global anarchy. Elimination of all governments.
The entire headquarters shakes, which is notable event considering it is carved into a mountain.
(I almost feel bad for your queue)

Select far-future 4; explain that one of my spells, Potato Analysis III, has informed me that the meal is, in fact, poisoned. Make it clear that I don't think the chefs poisoned it—rather, someone in charge of ingredient preparation did. Leave the mess hall.

4. Oh. That's bad, but we may know who did this. At least enjoy these french fries.

Buy a pair of gloves with a golden rock or something. Accept change if it's offered, but otherwise don't bother.

6. Your shopping spree ends up like this: golden store door, golden gloves, golden clerk and arrest warrant. Though that last one might not be relevant because of explosion of plasma up where eldritch things were happening. The mountain side is carved with new canyons, one unpleasantly close to the city. Looks like you are not far enough yet.

grab five, gain a Degree in reverse psychology.

5. These online universities are really good. Within few minutes of study you already have Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology.



TheBiggerFish:
  Rolls: 1 5 3 4 1 3 3 1
  QUEST: Paint walls with Zalgo's brain
  POWER: Chaos Sorcerer
  ENEMY: Chaos Zalgo
  LOCATION: Headquarters outdoors parking lot
 
Salsacookies:
  Rolls: 3 2 4 5 2 1 1 1 1
  QUEST: Cause global anarchy
  ITEM: Lighter
  MINION: 2 chemists and engineers. Have total non-interference policy regarding Master's plans.
  LOCATION: Outside of Master's throne room
 
crazyabe:
  Rolls: 2 2 3 6 3 2 6 6
  ITEM: French fries
  SKILL: Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology
  MINION: 5 man squad of good soldiers
  LOCATION: Headquarters
 
Whisperling:
  Rolls: 2 1 6 1 3 3 1 2 5 1
  POWER: Midas Touch
  ITEM: Possibly stolen car (golden door and steering wheel)
  ITEM: Golden gloves
  LOCATION: City
  WANTED FOR THEFT, VANDALISM AND MAGICAL MANSLAUGHTER
 
Elephant Parade:
  Rolls: 3 4 1 1 1 2 5 6 6
  POWER: Sorcerer
  ITEM: French fries
  LOCATION: Headquarters
 
Waiters:
  Dustan Hache
  Nunzillor

Rules:

• Roll for your action is picked from your roll queue, using the leftmost number first. When a roll is used in this way, you automatically gain another to keep length of queue same.
• You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the dice permanently from your queue. So every free pick is one die less in your queue.
• Supernatural and impossible feats can be performed only by picking die with 5. Next roll determines its quality.
• More dice can be gained by splitting a die that's not 1 or 6. Lowest number takes place of the split dice and the other goes to end of the queue

[TheBiggerFish]

Try, uh, healing Zalgo.  Or something.  Hurting him isn't working.

[Salsacookies]

I grab a five. Go to the largest inert volcano, and make it erupt.

[crazyabe]

Split the 2 in front.
Avoid harming anyone who is not me that is on the list.

[Elephant Parade]

Eat the french fries.

[Whisperling]

Grab a five and become an earth mage. Who is immune to lava, obviously.

[AoshimaMichio]

Try, uh, healing Zalgo.  Or something.  Hurting him isn't working.

Healing your opponent? Sure, why now? Especially when you know things are about to go horribly wrong. But in this case wouldn't "horribly wrong" mean you actually succeed beyond belief? That would be pretty bad for you... Eh, whatever! Healing it is!
1. You start the process of reverting the changes your blind blasting of chaos magic did. Your magic is in confict. You told it to heal mutations, but it cannot discern what part of Zalgo is not a mutation. It goes work on blindly, chopping off arm here and mouth there trying to find what is healthy, but eventually it figures out this is lost cause and instead tries to find what was healthy origin. Being unable to discern this too, it throws in the towel, so to say, and simply crunches Zalgo into something that somewhat resembles healthy human.

"Y͓͖̬ͪ̇ͦͦ̈́o̕u̟̰͈̺̻̮̬͋̒ͩͪ͊.̹̫̫̈́͋͘ͅ.͓͍͍̗͊̓͊̓̂͢.̟̤̩̙ͨͦ̐̑̑̆̚͝ͅ ͎ͤ̑̔̍̈Ṱ̩̑ͤͪ͆̿ͥ͌͠h͓̪͙̾̉̾̍͒̾̚ē̦͙̙͡ ̨̩́͐t̒̓̃̌̃̅̾iͤ̓̽͏̥̟̫̫̻͔m͓̞̻͙͐̔̉͗͂̏̾e͓͖̬̮̖̳̒ ̜̃̉͂͆̍͜i̵͓̹̯͕ͥ̑͐s̙̹̦͓͕̅̈ͅ ̛̩͖̗̝͈̓̊̿̚n̻͚ͣ̅̃͐͒̽̾ȏ̹̖͇̞̅ͯ̋̉w̷̖͇̼͔̜͙̉͐͌ͯͥͩ̚.̢̎͑͆ ̵̖̤͇͉̗͕̝͌ͭ̒I̅́ͩ͛̓ ̹̤͖͌ͣ͐ͯ̓̑́ŵ̙͉͖̪̺̩̂̑̃ͮi̶͊̃ͧl͍̗̣͇̩̙̣̎ͨ͌̄l̵̾ ̮̓̋̒͜s͖͇̹̺̠̑͜i̬̟̤ͪ̓͌ͣͪͫṋ͈̹̘̊͝g̷̬͎̠͕̝̭̓ͥ.͉̠̒͘"

I grab a five. Go to the largest inert volcano, and make it erupt.

5. Nearest volcano? That's a good distance away, but you arrange yourself a first class ticket to internal metro and authority to use one of the private jets meant to top executives. This succeeds only because you have actually task given from Master.
Metro ride to airstrip is thankfully uneventfull and the plane takes off without a hitch. Now, you have some time before you arrive. Do you have any ideas how to actually make a volcano erupt?

Split the 2 in front.
Avoid harming anyone who is not me that is on the list.

1. What? Let's try to deconstruct that. "Avoid harming anyone who is not me" meaning you are only one who can be harmed. Sounds clear. "That is on the list." meaning you and the four others. Summed together "Avoid harming the other four players but I'm fine with me being hurt". Filtered through your degree of reserve psychology it means "Avoid harming myself, but I'm totally fine with others being hurt." Ah, I see.
Let's see. One is fighting an Eldritch horror on outside. Too far. Second just took off with a jet. No chances to get him. Third went somewhere a good while ago. No idea where he is. Fourth... Oh here he is! Eating fries! You walk to him briskly and kick him on nuts, though he dodges it easily.
Your soldier buddies hesitate. Should we really be attacking our on people...?

Eat the french fries.

3. Yeah, fries are tasty. Not too much salt or oil. Good mix, clearly professional job. Then a guy comes and tries to kick you on nuts. 4. Of course getting your family jewels damaged would be bad, so you jump backwards. What a bastard.

Grab a five and become an earth mage. Who is immune to lava, obviously.

5. 2. Magic responds to your call, earth cracks in front of you, stone rises from cracks and forms a small stone doll. Hmm. You suspect your lava immunity might not be worth of testing out without medics nearby.






TheBiggerFish:
  Rolls: 5 3 4 1 3 3 1 1
  QUEST: Paint walls with Zalgo's brain
  POWER: Chaos Sorcerer
  ENEMY: Zalgo?
  LOCATION: Headquarters outdoors parking lot, now badly ruined
 
Salsacookies:
  Rolls: 3 2 4 2 1 1 1 1
  QUEST: Cause global anarchy
  ITEM: Lighter
  MINION: 2 chemists and engineers. Have total non-interference policy regarding Master's plans.
  LOCATION: Private jet, going to nearest volcano
 
crazyabe:
  Rolls: 2 3 6 3 2 6 6 1 5
  ITEM: French fries
  SKILL: Master's Degree in Reverse Psychology
  MINION: 5 man squad of good soldiers
  LOCATION: Headquarters
 
Whisperling:
  Rolls: 1 6 1 3 3 1 2 1 4
  POWER: Midas Touch
  POWER: Very weak earth mage.
  ITEM: Possibly stolen car (golden door and steering wheel)
  ITEM: Golden gloves
  LOCATION: City
  WANTED FOR THEFT, VANDALISM AND MAGICAL MANSLAUGHTER
 
Elephant Parade:
  Rolls: 1 1 1 2 5 6 6 6 3
  POWER: Sorcerer
  ITEM: French fries
  LOCATION: Headquarters
 
Waiters:
  Dustan Hache
  Nunzillor

Rules:

• Roll for your action is picked from your roll queue, using the leftmost number first. When a roll is used in this way, you automatically gain another to keep length of queue same.
• You can pick any roll at anytime, but will lose the dice permanently from your queue. So every free pick is one die less in your queue.
• Supernatural and impossible feats can be performed only by picking die with 5. Next roll determines its quality.
• More dice can be gained by splitting a die that's not 1 or 6. Lowest number takes place of the split dice and the other goes to end of the queue

[Salsacookies]

Grab a four. Drop a large bomb into the volcano

[Whisperling]

Jump up and down.

Actually grab 6 and get away from the nearest volcano.

[TheBiggerFish]

[no action yet] [but possibly earplugs are in order]

[crazyabe]

Grab 6: Run For the Hills Before He can react Some more!