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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1106857 times)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7845 on: March 27, 2018, 03:13:28 pm »

German tribunals still have to make a decision.

I have the unpleasant impression that much of this has been talked behind the scenes.  The goverment has been acting surprisingly confidently//aggressively in many different fronts in the last few days. 
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7846 on: March 28, 2018, 04:58:42 am »

In UK news, it seems Corbyn's political career is kill
'No more' politicians serving bankers.' - Corbyn, last month
'In a speech that will send shivers through the banking industry, Mr Corbyn vowed that the next Labour government would be "the first in 40 years to stand up for the real economy" and combat the "financial wizardry" running through the City.' - Also Corbyn, threatening the finance wizards with his sorcerous control of Laor.
Of course if you search Corbyn now, all you will find are swathes of British, US and Israeli media attacking Corbyn for antisemitism, over a facebook post made 6 years ago in which he defended the destruction of an artist's mural. Hilariously, the Times of Israel offered fairer descriptions of the mural than even the BBC, Guardian, Telegraph, Times or Daily Mail, as the latter all simply describe it as an antisemitic mural, where the Times of Israel points out only some of the bankers in the mural are Jewish; all other outlets neglect to mention that on the monopoly board there are the Rothschilds, Rockefellers and Morgans, with only the majority being gentiles - but this is nevertheless, anti-semitic, because as our lobby groups say, being anti-banker is a code for anti-semite. Or worse still, that in the name of progressive socialism, Jewish bankers must be exempt from criticism when criticizing bankers! The lack of self-awareness is astounding, if you take the view that this is about anti-semitism. The commies here think it's a transparent attempt to take Corbyn down for his pro-Palestinian beliefs, and he's committed political suicide by apologizing to groups who are simply looking to drag him into the dirt before the local elections:

Quote
An Israeli embassy official who plotted to “take down” MPs regarded as hostile has also set up a number of political organisations in the UK that operated as though entirely independent.
Shai Masot was filmed covertly as he boasted about establishing several groups, at least one of which was intended to influence Labour party policy, while appearing to obscure their links to Israel.
At a meeting last July, Masot explains that he had the idea for a group called Young Conservative Friends of Israel in 2015, and wanted to set up a Young Labour Friends of Israel at that time. “When I tried to do the same in Labour they had a crisis back then with Corbyn. So instead of that I took a delegation to Israel … I took a Fabians group to Israel,” he says.
Masot also says in the footage of that meeting that he does not wish to see Jeremy Corbyn win the leadership contest with Owen Smith. During another meeting, he describes Corbyn as “a crazy leader”.
 “I would prefer that the party will not stay with Corbyn,” he says. Referring to a number of Labour MPs who had recently visited the West Bank, he adds: “Some of them are against Corbyn, so who knows?”
The UK government at the time accepted the Israeli government's apology that Shai Masot was acting independently, despite protests from UK MPs that it was transparently obvious he was acting under the authority of the Israeli government.

What a spicy meatball

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7847 on: March 28, 2018, 06:29:45 am »

please be real
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7848 on: March 28, 2018, 11:11:31 am »

Do you want Maoist guerilla insurgency, UK? Because this is how you get Maoist guerilla insurgency.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7849 on: March 28, 2018, 11:21:17 am »

Theres also the whole thing with Corbyn breaking from the rest of his party and going soft on Russia when they voted for condemnations or something against Russia for the ex-spy attempted assassination.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7850 on: March 28, 2018, 11:56:28 am »

No, the political side of his party just don’t like him and apparently will take any half-decent opportunity to tell people about it.

He didn’t quite condemn the Russians hard enough for their liking, and they like to fight each other instead of the opposition, so like, 19 of them signed a letter saying Theresa May’s course of action was good. Maybe more since then, not sure. She did what was basically expected of her, given the limited options she had.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7851 on: March 28, 2018, 12:59:10 pm »

Do you want Maoist guerilla insurgency, UK? Because this is how you get Maoist guerilla insurgency.
inb4 Jacorbyns storm the tower of London

Theres also the whole thing with Corbyn breaking from the rest of his party and going soft on Russia when they voted for condemnations or something against Russia for the ex-spy attempted assassination.
There's a couple of things which are miring Corbyn in so much shit he can't take a single step forwards
  • Antisemitism (as detailed above, but also part of a much larger series of antisemitism cases involving Corbyn and his associates)
  • The European Union (he sacked Owen Smith for breaking shadow cabinet consensus, calling for a secondrendum on leaving the European Union, after Owen Smith refused to resign).
  • Russia (as his request for May to prove Russia was behind the attack before launching sanctions against Russia sounded like defending Russia).

It's notable that after Theresa May's electoral Stalingrad, Jeremy Corbyn was unable to capitalize on anything because any success his part made lead to nowhere but more infighting and attempts to force his resignation. Corbyn saying he'd be PM by 2018 seems more and more distant, as Labour MPs have stood by their word they'd rather lose seats than lose the party. An interesting case to study imo about how a socialist in a socialist party can be undone for being socialist

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7852 on: March 28, 2018, 04:40:14 pm »

Russia now demands that the UK proves that they didn't poison Skripal and their daughter themselves, or they will 'hold the UK responsible for an attack on Russian civilians.
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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7853 on: March 28, 2018, 05:26:43 pm »

Russia now demands that the UK proves that they didn't poison Skripal and their daughter themselves, or they will 'hold the UK responsible for an attack on Russian civilians.
This statement is deliberately as prime dickheadish as possible on purpose: Putin is counting on Westerners to overreact and go on the offensive in response to being threatened to prove a negative or else. Why?

Quote
Protesters held banners reading “Bribes kill children” and “We demand a real investigation”, and some chanted “Down with the cowardly regime!”, “Putin - resign!”, “What did the children die for?” and “We are sick and tired of him”, meaning Putin.
“It was the regime that caused the deaths ... The criminal regime should resign,” said 43-year-old Innokentii, who works in the financial sector.
“The most awful thing is that no one is going to be really punished for this,” said Kirill, 28. “We’ve had that many times before.”
He wants Westerners to distract Russians for him.
Best thing the West can do, the UK especially, is continue calmly with the investigation and counter Russia with as little media fanfare as possible. Keep things simple and allow Russians to dwell on Putin's ability to reform or rot Russia. In simpler terms: Tell Boris Johnson to go on holiday for the next two weeks.

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7854 on: March 28, 2018, 08:17:58 pm »

Was going to say he’s KGB and that’s why he’s doing this figurative sleight of hand nonsense, but the same argument could be made about politicians.

I would quite like Theresa May to just say “well, we gain nothing from his death considering he was essentially given to us in a spy trade, and we gain nothing from trying to blame it on Russia ‘cause you’re already being hammered by sanctions over Crimea.”

Only issue is hems good at this game, so he’d have answers ready. Just go completely mad then “sure, we did it, do you have a problem bruv?”
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7855 on: April 05, 2018, 01:56:21 pm »

Dutch hospitals and insurance companies join forces to combat excessive medicine pricing by big pharma.
The Academic Medical Centre of Amsterdam has replicated a drug (CDCA) for an extremely rare disease (hereditary metabolism disorder CTX), of which the price was recently increased by the manufacturer to 160 thousand euros per patient per year.
By using cheap raw materials imported from CHina, the AMC managed to reproduce the drug for only 1/8th of the price, bringing it down to 20 thousand euros per patient per year.

Insurance companies have now decided that they will only pay for the cheap version of the drug.

The drug in question has already been used to treat CTX for forty years, but because it was originally registered as a drug for bladder stones , and not CTX, and has not been used to treat those for a long time because there are better drugs for it, pharma company Leadiant saw the opportunity to register CDCA as an 'orphan drug' with the EU drug authority EMA. With this new status for an ancient drug, Leadiant acquired monopoly for ten years, meaning other producers are not allowed to sell the drug for that particular disease. With the new status in their pocket, Leadiant raised the price from 40 thousand to 160 thousand euros.

The case hit the media and public outrage ensued. Now, with the blessing of our parliament and government, hospitals and academical medical centres were given carte blanche to disregard the monopoly and produce the drug themselves.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7856 on: April 05, 2018, 04:29:24 pm »

based euro social healthcare

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7857 on: April 06, 2018, 08:10:49 pm »

The WW2 memorial committee in the Hague has banned fat people from being member of the honorary guard during the national memorial service on the 4th of may, because 'buttons jumping off uniforms distract the public too much from the ceremony.'

Volunteers that were allowed the honorary duty before, but have been demoted to catering service now beause they are fat are outraged.
"In the Netherlands you are not allowed to discriminate", says the wife of one disappointed volunteer. "But on the 4th of may, the day that we remember our war heroes that fought for our freedom, the memorial committee discriminates against people that they believe have a slightly too big belly? What's next, ban people with big noses?"

More outrage likely to follow when people read the news in the morning.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7858 on: April 06, 2018, 08:28:30 pm »

The WW2 memorial committee in the Hague has banned fat people from being member of the honorary guard during the national memorial service on the 4th of may, because 'buttons jumping off uniforms distract the public too much from the ceremony.'

Volunteers that were allowed the honorary duty before, but have been demoted to catering service now beause they are fat are outraged.
"In the Netherlands you are not allowed to discriminate", says the wife of one disappointed volunteer. "But on the 4th of may, the day that we remember our war heroes that fought for our freedom, the memorial committee discriminates against people that they believe have a slightly too big belly? What's next, ban people with big noses?"

More outrage likely to follow when people read the news in the morning.

Why not actually fit them for uniforms? If uniforms are so one-size as it implies, then I bet there have been people who were on the honorary guard whose uniforms were clearly too big for them.

Also, the reason they gave sounds like something that'd happen in the Three Stooges or other comedies.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7859 on: April 07, 2018, 07:49:31 am »

The WW2 memorial committee in the Hague has banned fat people from being member of the honorary guard during the national memorial service on the 4th of may, because 'buttons jumping off uniforms distract the public too much from the ceremony.'

Volunteers that were allowed the honorary duty before, but have been demoted to catering service now beause they are fat are outraged.
"In the Netherlands you are not allowed to discriminate", says the wife of one disappointed volunteer. "But on the 4th of may, the day that we remember our war heroes that fought for our freedom, the memorial committee discriminates against people that they believe have a slightly too big belly? What's next, ban people with big noses?"

More outrage likely to follow when people read the news in the morning.

Why not actually fit them for uniforms? If uniforms are so one-size as it implies, then I bet there have been people who were on the honorary guard whose uniforms were clearly too big for them.

Also, the reason they gave sounds like something that'd happen in the Three Stooges or other comedies.
Much easier to just replace them with volunteers who aren't obese; War Memorials should not be about earning village prestige for yourself, it is about honouring the fallen. It is perhaps a sign of the impotence of the West, that it can no longer find fit volunteers for even its memorial services :(
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