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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1106510 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7860 on: April 07, 2018, 10:46:08 am »

Crap. Van hit pedestrians in Münster, unknown number of confirmed dead, and at least 30 wounded. The driver commited suicide. Police say they are treating it as a terror attack.

EDIT: 4 people dead, van drove into a café's front terrace.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2018, 11:23:49 am by martinuzz »
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7861 on: April 07, 2018, 03:51:37 pm »

The WW2 memorial committee in the Hague has banned fat people from being member of the honorary guard during the national memorial service on the 4th of may, because 'buttons jumping off uniforms distract the public too much from the ceremony.'

Volunteers that were allowed the honorary duty before, but have been demoted to catering service now beause they are fat are outraged.
"In the Netherlands you are not allowed to discriminate", says the wife of one disappointed volunteer. "But on the 4th of may, the day that we remember our war heroes that fought for our freedom, the memorial committee discriminates against people that they believe have a slightly too big belly? What's next, ban people with big noses?"

More outrage likely to follow when people read the news in the morning.

Why not actually fit them for uniforms? If uniforms are so one-size as it implies, then I bet there have been people who were on the honorary guard whose uniforms were clearly too big for them.

Also, the reason they gave sounds like something that'd happen in the Three Stooges or other comedies.
Much easier to just replace them with volunteers who aren't obese; War Memorials should not be about earning village prestige for yourself, it is about honouring the fallen. It is perhaps a sign of the impotence of the West, that it can no longer find fit volunteers for even its memorial services :(
Ah yes, it is of course vitally important to reject any overweight people from being allowed to honour the memory of the dead. Only fit and healthy people should be permitted to show respect for their heritage and the fallen, and everyone else should be thrown out and alienated. This is totally a good thing which will not drain the ever-shrinking pools of people willing to dedicate their time to the past for free, or contribute to a lack of pride in their country which is the sort of thing you’re usually up in arms over dirty europoor youth too busy with halo to care about their nation
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7862 on: April 07, 2018, 04:54:17 pm »

There have been found no links to terrorism for the 48 year old German van driver. According to regional news broadcasting services NDR and WDR, the man was known to have psychiatric problems, but authorities have not confirmed that. His house is being searched for explosives.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7863 on: April 08, 2018, 03:15:32 pm »

Ah yes, it is of course vitally important to reject any overweight people from being allowed to honour the memory of the dead. Only fit and healthy people should be permitted to show respect for their heritage and the fallen, and everyone else should be thrown out and alienated. This is totally a good thing which will not drain the ever-shrinking pools of people willing to dedicate their time to the past for free, or contribute to a lack of pride in their country which is the sort of thing you’re usually up in arms over dirty europoor youth too busy with halo to care about their nation
I do not care for the most shallow pride in one's country, the idiotic patriotism which tells you that you are exceptional for being a part of it, even if your only contribution to it has been to keep an artificially preserved party alive. Needless to say, when I endorse keeping a nation close to the heart, a McNation Meal clogged in the heart is not my intention. Everyone is allowed to honour the memory of the dead, the Netherlands is no different from the UK in keeping its memorial services open when terrorist season has died down. These folk are not protesting access to the memorial service, they are protesting rejection from the honourary guard. I do not know how much this honourary guard differs from an honour guard, but considering you traditionally send your most elite and well-drilled units to the honour guard, I believe the WWII memorial committee, even with its much lower standards - has its limits.
If they have a sincere and solemn reverence for their ancestors, they will still be there, either as catering staff or participant. If the only thing keeping them there was a desire to parade in uniform, no love has been lost. If they sincerely believed the only way to honour their ancestors was through parade, then they will choose temperance and fast past the sunday roast, rather than miss out on next year's service. There is nothing surprising in, nor is there any reason to condemn the public who are disinterested in, a nation they have no reasons to take pride in. While you and I may disagree, my viewpoint is such that I would much rather have a smaller group of people who actually care over a disinterested mass of many whose only focus is how the event looks upon them. Thus from my point of view, those arbiters of greater fulfillment who continually relax their standards to draw in mass appeal, will find they follow the path of commercialized Church in finding neither: hollowing their every principle, standard and meaning to appeal to people disinterested in their doctrines, leaving behind a cosmopolitan cafe disinteresting to a genuine congregation, leaving behind a decrepit waste followed by no one.
Basically I am of the opinion that if you must bribe your own ever-shrinking pool of people into honouring their dead, it is much better to let dead thing lie, as you are at that point just pretending to still value the morality you discarded long ago. Much better to instead focus on cultivating the future, so that one day people will again care for everything.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7864 on: April 08, 2018, 03:22:37 pm »

What a load of pretentious drivel.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7865 on: April 08, 2018, 03:32:43 pm »

What a load of pretentious drivel.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7866 on: April 08, 2018, 04:29:04 pm »

Ah yes, it is of course vitally important to reject any overweight people from being allowed to honour the memory of the dead. Only fit and healthy people should be permitted to show respect for their heritage and the fallen, and everyone else should be thrown out and alienated. This is totally a good thing which will not drain the ever-shrinking pools of people willing to dedicate their time to the past for free, or contribute to a lack of pride in their country which is the sort of thing you’re usually up in arms over dirty europoor youth too busy with halo to care about their nation
I do not care for the most shallow pride in one's country, the idiotic patriotism which tells you that you are exceptional for being a part of it, even if your only contribution to it has been to keep an artificially preserved party alive. Needless to say, when I endorse keeping a nation close to the heart, a McNation Meal clogged in the heart is not my intention. Everyone is allowed to honour the memory of the dead, the Netherlands is no different from the UK in keeping its memorial services open when terrorist season has died down. These folk are not protesting access to the memorial service, they are protesting rejection from the honourary guard. I do not know how much this honourary guard differs from an honour guard, but considering you traditionally send your most elite and well-drilled units to the honour guard, I believe the WWII memorial committee, even with its much lower standards - has its limits.
If they have a sincere and solemn reverence for their ancestors, they will still be there, either as catering staff or participant. If the only thing keeping them there was a desire to parade in uniform, no love has been lost. If they sincerely believed the only way to honour their ancestors was through parade, then they will choose temperance and fast past the sunday roast, rather than miss out on next year's service. There is nothing surprising in, nor is there any reason to condemn the public who are disinterested in, a nation they have no reasons to take pride in. While you and I may disagree, my viewpoint is such that I would much rather have a smaller group of people who actually care over a disinterested mass of many whose only focus is how the event looks upon them. Thus from my point of view, those arbiters of greater fulfillment who continually relax their standards to draw in mass appeal, will find they follow the path of commercialized Church in finding neither: hollowing their every principle, standard and meaning to appeal to people disinterested in their doctrines, leaving behind a cosmopolitan cafe disinteresting to a genuine congregation, leaving behind a decrepit waste followed by no one.
Basically I am of the opinion that if you must bribe your own ever-shrinking pool of people into honouring their dead, it is much better to let dead thing lie, as you are at that point just pretending to still value the morality you discarded long ago. Much better to instead focus on cultivating the future, so that one day people will again care for everything.
The Honourary Guard was traditionally composed of members of the Dutch Resistance, and later their children, and now their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
So you're saying that if you happen be a fat great grandchild of resistance hero, you should just accept that you're demoted to making hamburgers for the good of the ceremony, or lose weight? What if you can't lose weight because of a medical condition?
The UK was never occupied, so I guess you have a different tradition.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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redwallzyl

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7867 on: April 08, 2018, 04:48:35 pm »

The Honourary Guard was traditionally composed of members of the Dutch Resistance, and later their children, and now their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
So you're saying that if you happen be a fat great grandchild of resistance hero, you should just accept that you're demoted to making hamburgers for the good of the ceremony, or lose weight? What if you can't lose weight because of a medical condition?
The UK was never occupied, so I guess you have a different tradition.
That sounds ridiculous. As the decedent of one such person, dutch resistance, I would certainty be pissed of they denied me the chance to honor the heroism of my great grandfather in a ceremony because I did not meet arbitrary size standards.
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7868 on: April 08, 2018, 05:23:34 pm »

When the fat parader responds to "you can't march, you're too big." with "....emmm, what?" , he's not saying "cast the spotlight on me again!". It has become a personal slight, one which should by rights not have been made. These are people who want to honour the fallen, but by being denied the chance their dignity has also been impinged. Nor do I think it's fair to say that this makes them disrespectful.

I'm used to Remembrance Parades, and Orangemen Parades. There are some big people in both. Especially where I am from, they have risked life and limb simply to march along the street to protect their principles and remember the sacrifice given. I would be disgusted if any of them were refused the right to march based on some arbitrary reason such as a uniform size - get a bigger uniform, honour the dead and protect the honour of the living.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7869 on: April 08, 2018, 05:43:16 pm »

The Honourary Guard was traditionally composed of members of the Dutch Resistance, and later their children, and now their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
So you're saying that if you happen be a fat great grandchild of resistance hero, you should just accept that you're demoted to making hamburgers for the good of the ceremony, or lose weight? What if you can't lose weight because of a medical condition?
The UK was never occupied, so I guess you have a different tradition.
To the first, yes. Though I would not be so rude as to disparage catering staff, their job is important and their work is not dishonourable, even if well-off people are loathe to be seen doing it. If they find catering too disagreeable, there is always the option of attending the memorial service like everyone else, unless I am mistaken and this is exclusive to their descendants. There exists no person unable to lose weight, it is physically impossible for you to gain weight if you do not eat more than your body uses. While I do not run the Dutch Memorial Committee, for those whom it is exceedingly difficult to lose weight because they are medically incapable, it would be up to them to make the accommodations to assist disabled honourary guard perform their ceremony, or advise if it would not be preferable to participate in the audience instead. If the occupation of Netherlands had something to do with the difference in opinion, I'd doubt it. It is not the UK placing weight standards upon honourary guards; it is the Netherlands.

That sounds ridiculous. As the decedent of one such person, dutch resistance, I would certainty be pissed of they denied me the chance to honor the heroism of my great grandfather in a ceremony because I did not meet arbitrary size standards.
I too would be crestfallen. Yet the loss of this privilege would be no obstacle to honouring the sacrifices of our predecessors, there would be nothing to stop one from showing up and honouring them, even without receiving honours for the self. It is clear that the protests are not of any denied access to memorials, for no such denials have been made. Unless it really was the case, that honouring one's heroic predecessors was impossible without dressing like them? If you genuinely are moved to such piety, nothing will stop you from showing up, even with the apparently insufferable indignity of being an ordinary member of the public in the audience with everyone else.

*EDIT
I have sought for the source of this news so that I may learn more about it, but the closest thing I have found online is the website of the committee. It seems clearer now the reasoning behind the memorial committee, as the memorial committee of the Netherlands is placed under the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sports.
Subsequently they are also thinking of setting health standards.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2018, 06:03:29 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7870 on: April 08, 2018, 08:36:50 pm »

In different news, Orban expected to win 66.83% of Hungary's seats in landslide victory
Reminds me of an article I read a while back in the internationalist, where they commented in 2017 of the worrying trend of how there were no more healthy democracies left, where money was all that mattered and countries like Russia and China were increasingly seen as role models to follow by European governments. Truly this timeline worsens, that our last democratic choice is to pick the Russian or Chinese model

misko27

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7871 on: April 08, 2018, 10:16:09 pm »

It's definitely been a tendency throughout Eastern Europe. I remember another article arguing that Europe was too quick to sign off on integration without asking for reform; not economically (that argument has been discussed to death), but politically as well: now the east is plagued with unstable countries turning to the New Russian Model, to coin a phrase. Granted, there are some major exceptions which test that argument (Austria in particular), but it's interesting nonetheless.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7872 on: April 09, 2018, 01:57:36 am »

I'm worried about back home, as both our main conservative party (the PP) and their rivals (Cs) are pretty much this.
... though TBH I lost hope in national politics a while ago.  In my home region both those parties are residual, and we have constitutionally protected devolved authority. So I kind of prefer to ignore whatever happens south of the river Ebro insofar as I can, as to avoid darkness induced apathy.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7874 on: April 12, 2018, 08:29:10 am »

The OPCW just confirmed from their own investigation that the agent used to poison Skripal and his daughter was indeed a novitsjok agent. Thye have tested the Skripals' blood, and samples obtained from the places they visited, in 4 different labs, one of their own, and 3 independant ones.
They conclude that the agent used was 'of very pure quality', and share the conclusion of Scotland Yard that it most likely was manufactured in a military laboratory.

Meanwhile, the Russian authorities have demanded access to Julia Skripal, but she has made known that she is not interested in that, nor does she approve of Russia trying to speak on her behalf.
Russia now accuses the UK of holding Julia Skripal against her will.

Julia Skripal awoke from artificial coma about 2 weeks ago, and has recovered enough to be dismissed. She has been placed in protective custody. Her father is no longer in critical condition, but still hospitalized.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2018, 08:33:29 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

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