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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1068655 times)

Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7830 on: March 22, 2018, 07:18:35 pm »

After the war, the liberated countries and their allies realized all too well that making Germany pay war reparations would leave Germany a third world country,

And in typical German fashion they are now returning the favour by turning Greece into a third world country over debts. Go Germany!

Why do you say this when it was the EU that bailed out Greece with hundreds of billions of euros?
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You finish ripping the human corpse of Sigmund into pieces.
This raw flesh tastes delicious!

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7831 on: March 22, 2018, 09:14:01 pm »

After the war, the liberated countries and their allies realized all too well that making Germany pay war reparations would leave Germany a third world country,

And in typical German fashion they are now returning the favour by turning Greece into a third world country over debts. Go Germany!

Why do you say this when it was the EU that bailed out Greece with hundreds of billions of euros?

With caveats that they basically have to stop helping their people out with the shock of an exploded economy by implementing ridiculous austerity measures. People won elections there on campaign promises of telling the EU to fuck off.

Edit: in other news, 3 months back, the some UK politicians creamed their pants when the UK announced that blue passports would be returning. This was big news, despite the fact the EU had no great influence on the decision to make the change to the current burgundy one.

Today, the company that makes the burgundy ones is going to appeal the decision to award the manufacturing contract for the blue passports to a French-Dutch company.

Let’s make a show of taking back our independence and sovereignty by giving money to the foreigners we’re in the process of taking back that independence and sovereignty from. You know, the ones that forced us to throw open the contract to EU companies in the first place.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2018, 09:41:37 pm by hector13 »
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7832 on: March 22, 2018, 09:55:04 pm »

Make it in America instead! lol :)

(not actually being serious, the shipping costs wouldn't be worth it anyway)
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7833 on: March 23, 2018, 03:42:42 am »

After being pressed by May to do so, the EU withdrew their ambassador from Russia, in reaction to the Skripal chemical attack.
Past saturday, May had asked that, but Greece, Bulgary and Hungary refused to point fingers of blame at Russia.

Apparently the other EU members have now managed to convince those three countries that the EU should do so.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7834 on: March 23, 2018, 06:59:10 am »

In Trébes, France, a hostage situation is ongoing in a supermarket.
An armed man entered the supermarket and took 8 people hostage, while swearing allegiance to IS.

According to the mayor of Trébes, there are 2 casualties. It is unclear if they are dead or injured.
Furthermore, all hostages are said to have left the building, leaving only a single police officer and the hostage taker inside.

The building is surrounded by police, and the hostage taker is said to be still armed.

French authorities are treating it as a terrorist attack.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 07:00:55 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7835 on: March 23, 2018, 10:49:27 am »

The assailant has been killed by the police. Three innocent people were killed, 2 in the supermarket, and one before the hostage situation, the driver of a car that was stolen by the terrorist on his way to the supermarket. Three people were wounded, amongst whom 1 police officer.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7836 on: March 23, 2018, 04:05:58 pm »

With caveats that they basically have to stop helping their people out with the shock of an exploded economy by implementing ridiculous austerity measures. People won elections there on campaign promises of telling the EU to fuck off.
Yeah it was a pretty poisonous deal, pushing Greece further into debt, liquidating their assets to repay their debts and making it legally impossible for their situation to improve so they can get out of debt

Edit: in other news, 3 months back, the some UK politicians creamed their pants when the UK announced that blue passports would be returning. This was big news, despite the fact the EU had no great influence on the decision to make the change to the current burgundy one.

Today, the company that makes the burgundy ones is going to appeal the decision to award the manufacturing contract for the blue passports to a French-Dutch company.

Let’s make a show of taking back our independence and sovereignty by giving money to the foreigners we’re in the process of taking back that independence and sovereignty from. You know, the ones that forced us to throw open the contract to EU companies in the first place.
I'd rather have a good reality than make a show out our nation. The Olympics was fucking dismal, I don't want Olympic brexit, a sensible sense of order is much more preferable. Actual independence, actual sovereignty - all these things I would prefer over a show of independence, a show of sovereignty. Nothing wrong with the French doing our passports, they won it fair and square offering the UK taxpayer £120M in savings, and despite all the claims that Leave voters want to strategic bomb the European continent, I rather think it is not so, and Europeans remain popular in the UK.
This of course belies Theresa May believing a show of brexit will satisfy the UK populace instead of action, in the same way you'd dangle keys in front of an easily distracted toddler. "I know we should've left the EU last year and Germany will probably leave the EU before the UK does, but look - blue passports, new sterling notes! How British, vote for me."
It's the most shallow tokens of competence she could've offered.
Also if you want tokens of cynical symbolism of sovereignty over actual sovereignty, forget passports - see the Westminster government talk of "global Britain" whilst deleting her global capabilities. They're even willing to cut the Royal Marines' amphibious capabilities, completely missing the fucking point of an amphibious unit. Hence why you can see I am not too bothered by saving money in unimportant symbols, where actual capability is being atrophied in favour of "hurr durr we put the Queen on our money vote for us we're so British btw fuck the British." Corbyn & Mogg look sexier by the second

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7837 on: March 24, 2018, 03:14:47 am »

The assailant has been killed by the police. Three innocent people were killed, 2 in the supermarket, and one before the hostage situation, the driver of a car that was stolen by the terrorist on his way to the supermarket. Three people were wounded, amongst whom 1 police officer.


Fourth victime, Arnaud Beltrame, a 44-year old French police officer that offered to swap himself for one of the hostage and was killed by the terrorist. He had let his phone on, tje bullets that injured him started the police assault.

You have to admire guys like that, I'm getting really strong St. Maximilian Kolbe vibe here. This is what a hero looks like.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7838 on: March 24, 2018, 05:31:10 am »

Sad. I hope the French state will provide well for his bereaved. True hero.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7839 on: March 24, 2018, 08:28:09 pm »

*barges in with American Politics related thing* (lol)

Question here, for gun laws, do other countries do it patchwork with states (or equivalent, like provinces, adminstrative regions, etc) and more local like we do in the US or are they more whole country?
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7840 on: March 24, 2018, 08:57:36 pm »

Well, the Dunblane massacre in Scotland fucked up gun rights in the UK (fcking lol) in the mid-90s, so at least in the UK it’s a colonies-wide thing.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7841 on: March 25, 2018, 04:28:23 am »

*barges in with American Politics related thing* (lol)

Question here, for gun laws, do other countries do it patchwork with states (or equivalent, like provinces, adminstrative regions, etc) and more local like we do in the US or are they more whole country?

Nah, AFAIK it's always country-wide.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7842 on: March 25, 2018, 06:38:11 am »

Puigdemont has been arrested at the German-Danish border. German police is not thinking what they should do witrh him, since Spain has issued an EU-wide order for his arrest.

Last week, Spain decided to prosecute Puigdemont and about 20 other politicians for rebellion, instead of the milder incitement. They are all facing 30 years in prison.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7843 on: March 27, 2018, 01:40:46 pm »

In rare good news from the Swedish legal system, today two brothers was declared innocent of the 20-year old murder of a 4-year-old. The brothers, who were 7 and 5 at the time of the murder, where basically coerced into admission through very harsh interrogations, including keeping them in a room for many hours and not letting their parents be with them.
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Love, scriver~

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7844 on: March 27, 2018, 01:51:34 pm »

Puigdemont has been arrested at the German-Danish border. German police is not thinking what they should do witrh him, since Spain has issued an EU-wide order for his arrest.

Last week, Spain decided to prosecute Puigdemont and about 20 other politicians for rebellion, instead of the milder incitement. They are all facing 30 years in prison.
Has Germany decided it Catalan man will be given a fair trial in Spain?
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