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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098209 times)

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4815 on: February 08, 2017, 11:42:51 am »

We all laugh at Sweden because Sweden is a mirror unto our own worlds. When the Swedish government says Swedes have no culture, that Sweden does not belong to Swedes, that Swedes must integrate into migrants, we see what our countries are walking towards. A joke, the very best and tragic kind.
Spoiler alert: there are people here that are from countries that are definitely not walking towards this direction. One of them is, in fact, me.

Then again, I don't really laugh at Sweden, so you could still be technically correct!
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TempAcc

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On normal internet forums, threads devolve from content into trolling. On Bay12, it's the other way around.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4817 on: February 08, 2017, 01:59:49 pm »

While not quite that well related to the discussion, it is good to see that there may yet be a chance for the NOT MURDERING EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU camp.
Interesting. Can recommend watching.

EDIT: In other news, a pilot by the Dutch police, in which they used police bodycam footage to confront youth with their drunk behaviour in the weekend nightlife, seems to be an effective way of educating parents.

The footage is shown to the youngsters together with their parents.
Parents who participated in the pilot say that only when they saw the footage, of their children lying in a puddle of vomit, and assaulting the police officers or paramedics that tried helping them up, did they realize how serious the situation was, instead of some minor mischief not to worry about.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2017, 02:21:24 pm by martinuzz »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4818 on: February 08, 2017, 02:17:32 pm »

The burden of proof is on anyone trying to defend his actions.
If you have an argument, the burden of proof is on you. It should be obvious that all things must be proven, being left-wing is no substitute for facts; if your argument is obvious then it will be easy to prove and all will be in agreement

But never mind the Murkans, this is Europol -- how about British right-wingers, like you? You're the one who said that old people should be denied the right to free healthcare because muh taxes or something. Much tradition, such respect.
I am British right-wingers like Covenant and I hold slightly different opinions, it is too simplistic to simply portray your opponents as the devil trying to kill old people. The NHS is currently undergoing monumental strain, part of it is neolib attempts at privatisation, or immigration, but by far the largest is that the cost to cure sickness is being far outstripped by muh taxpayers. Part of it is the rising obesity of the country which is monumental, the worst in Europe, the other part is that old people get sick easier and there will be a point where there are more retired pensioners than affluent young taxpayers. Thus if the NHS is to survive, difficult choices will have to be made. I think it would be preferable even to land great debt upon future generations than to deliberately cut NHS service for old people, since growing old is not a choice, I would much rather see people who smoke or eat too much pay for their own healthcare, and if needs be pass the debt cost of caring for the old onto future generations. I once read a heartbreaking letter from a man who wrote to one of my local hospitals, he was completely upset his mother had gone blind for lack of treatment, placed at the back of the queue of smokers and obesity patients, who really should know better :|
Point being as is we have three options for funding. Pass the costs to future generations, cut NHS coverage or cut pensions. Maybe the future will provide nicer alternatives

I do sometimes feel as if I am feebly dangling on a tether rope trailing behind it. But I shall never let go.
Well I always say it's never too late for damage control

Just look at climate change. Humanity is way past the point of causing irreversible damage but it's better to start fixing things late than never

It is. Rehabilitation can, indeed, be taken too far, when the concerns for a perpetrator eclipse the concern for a victim. In general, it seems as if the idea of a sentencing being a punishment and deterrent has largely been discarded.
Nah it hasn't been discarded, it's just not in favour with elites. Even in the UK for example half the country still supports capital punishment whilst the entirety of the political, media and academic UK is largely against it - I would much like to see death penalty for repeat offenders, but not first time offenders. I do believe people should be allowed second chances, without taking liberties with the law, but I am yet to find any leaders in the west who agree.

Personally, I would like repeat criminals of this type to be exiled, without delay. It would be better for everyone, including those migrants that intend to, and do, behave.
It would be cruel however, to inflict upon home countries these repeat criminals - especially since they will transfer all the "skills"  and connections they learned in Europe to criminal gangs to their exile destination. Capital or life punishment minimizes their risk to domestic and international populaces, and genuinely there are some prisons abroad that are worse than death, things I would hesitate even to send repeat murderers to.

I know that I harp on it quite often, but wide open doors does not help anyone, and it is not the generous, enlightened act of humanity that it seems. Taking a modicum of responsibility for one's migration, even and particularly when it is hard, knotty and morally difficult, is better for everyone.
I never understood why open borders was taken to be an innate virtue, I found this especially amusing coming from wealthy gentry living in gated communities. In the UK it was portrayed as this false dichotomy that to retain our border control was to be isolationist, as if to retain locks on your doors was to be reclusive. A very confusing debate indeed

It it impossible to say how long a sentence actually will be, or how the appeal will be handled. However, their businesses and reputations have been soundly scuttled, so there is at least that.
"At least" is a killer phrase lol

Now then, from sex crime to Nazi terrorism: the group calling itself the Nordic Resistance Movement (Nordiska Motståndsrörelsen) has been up to quite a few tricks lately in and around the city of Gothenburg.
...
As a very unfortunate aside, this movement have also, at times, appeared at bath houses to act as sort of volunteer security guards (that is, to speak plainly, to keep the gropey Afghans in line), which has caused some quarrels here and there. However, since sexual harrassment incidents seem to become rather common in public baths, one wonders why nothing seems to be done to fill the gap that they are evidently trying to plug themselves. It is a very unfortunate affair when Nazi militias are, in effect, providing an important social service.
Speaking of, they are at least not as bone-idle as the chaps in the Soldier of Odin-gangs. What they are doing with their time, I do not know, but it does not seem to be patroling the streets and keeping them safe. If they wanted to do some good for the community, there are plenty of areas in the city centre where they could do some good.
How large are these paramilitary groups and is there a connection between the mass resignation of Sweden's police and the rise of these neo-nazi shocktroopers? You don't hear so much about these neo-fascists in detail in foreign news, they tend to slip under the radar where islamic machete men at least reach page 15 headlines

Spoiler alert: there are people here that are from countries that are definitely not walking towards this direction. One of them is, in fact, me.
Then again, I don't really laugh at Sweden, so you could still be technically correct!
Russia has progressive potential :^)

Also lol I love memri TV

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4819 on: February 08, 2017, 02:29:42 pm »

Spoiler alert: there are people here that are from countries that are definitely not walking towards this direction. One of them is, in fact, me.
Then again, I don't really laugh at Sweden, so you could still be technically correct!
Russia has progressive potential :^)
The four leading parties are all firmly against progressive ideology, and they represent the overwhelming total of Russian population. The word "progressive" itself is treated with wariness by the people. We are safe and secure from the tendrils of decadence, my friend!

Also lol I love memri TV
What's "memri TV"?
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TempAcc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4820 on: February 08, 2017, 02:32:48 pm »

The best thing to come out the middle east other then kebab and belly dancers.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4821 on: February 08, 2017, 02:39:23 pm »

The four leading parties are all firmly against progressive ideology, and they represent the overwhelming total of Russian population. The word "progressive" itself is treated with wariness by the people. We are safe and secure from the tendrils of decadence, my friend!
Immunized against one form, but you're defending against something inherently formless

Nah, both are about people from Muslim-majority country, not Muslims per se. One is against them permanently settling, the other (the Trump one) is about them even soiling your clean soil with their dirty muslim feet.
Missed this post, sorry. Muslim majority country is by nationality, whilst a Muslim ban is by religion. Unless we're going to pretend that every other religion on the planet does not exist in Muslim countries, which is ridiculous, especially with many deliberately fuddling their religious stats to give the impression of purity

As far as the death penalty goes, I find it's something I waver back and forth upon over the knife-edge of yes and no. I wish there were an alternative - a Phantom Zone, or a new, limitless Australia we could ship the serial rapists and murderers off to. In the end, I'm always left simply thankful such decisions aren't required of me. Perhaps that's cowardly.
What about the British Antarctic territory. Or the moon? Maybe even Mars
Actually fuck yeah Mars prison colony, that sounds fucking awesome. They could even stage their own rebellion and form a Mars nation

What's "memri TV"?
Memri provides a diverse array of news you wouldn't get on decadent western media
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

wat
Spoiler: This news is hilarious (click to show/hide)
How have I lived so long without this?
This is only made worsebetter because I keep reading it as "khemri tv"

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4822 on: February 08, 2017, 03:06:07 pm »

It seems the American people wanted a president who shits on everything and wipes his arse on the constitution, and they sure as hell got one. Sixty-two million flies can't be wrong: shit tastes good.
It is not a clever idea to call your enemies maggots taking wing as flies. Dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed
the ride never ends

Tell me, Cov: If western traditions are the most valuable thing there is, why is it that people in your camp apparently have zero respect for such traditions as constitutionalism, rule of law, separation of powers, democracy, civil rights, etc. etc.? Some traditions are worth preserving, but others have to be trampled down because... what? What "tradition" could possibly be more important than the fundamental institutions of democratic society? Hmm...  ???
In the UK, upon the ascent of Theresa May, one peculiar quote will always tickle my funny bone. It said: Theresa May stands for justice, not social justice, and this was supposed to be an indictment of her character.
Both camps see rule of law, separation of powers, democracy and civil rights worthy of upholding, but one camp has dehumanized the other as insectoid and being motivated by evil and stupidity. They represent traditions to be trampled down :/
Make that two camps and you've got a pretty realistic view of the situation. Except that doing away with democratic institutions really is a very shitty idea, and anyone who feels attracted to it is very much like a fly in that metaphorical sense.

The question stands in reverse. Why would anyone seek to preserve any traditions when they find the very concept of tradition hostile?
The concept of tradition is not inherently good or bad for anyone on either side of the political divide. There are many time-honored western traditions that modern right-wingers cannot stomach at all, and even the most ignorant and self-centered of SJWs feel the need to entertain some ideas of continuity with the struggles of previous generations. Cherry-picking is the name of the game with traditions, though, no matter who you are.

My last point is that all of the traditions you listed are good, but they are all wholly related to the administrative functions of government. Not a single thing you listed involved people's traditions, normal people who merely want to cultivate their own long line of customs, styles and beliefs from their progenitors to their successors. Perhaps just an accidental omission, perhaps not - but our camp of maggots, if they can be generalized, do not believe that the purpose of the nation is to uphold the state, but the purpose of the state is to uphold the nation, and the nation is the people united by their common descent, history and culture. Civic traditions are very valuable in the practical day to day running of things, but the question always at the end of the day is to be or not to be, and bureaucracy provides no such answer.
Well, yes, that's the stereotypical difference between liberal and conservative mindsets and their differing approaches to government and tradition: conservatives value kinship and local customs over civic traditions, and liberals value abstract liberties and institutions over things that strengthen communal unity. From a conservative point of view, liberals are cold-hearted elitist reptilians who want to impose arbitrary rules and regulations on their traditional way of life, and from a liberal point of view, conservatives are pigheaded imbeciles who simply refuse to understand that the institutions of democracy belong to everyone, conservatives included, and purposefully undermining them is the most self-defeating and stupid thing that a citizen of a democratic nation could do---regardless of whether said citizen already feels completely alienated from said institutions, as modern conservatives usually do. I understand the flaws of both caricatures, but I still believe that the liberal version is somewhat closer to "truth," if there is such a thing. The conservatives' alienation from the civic traditions is a lamentable problem, but it does not justify voting for an orange tin-pot dictator in protest. At least not if you want to keep on living in a democracy, and I know I do.

An open minded approach could perhaps better help you understand why these flies are as they are. A simple contest of "no you're hypocrites" does not get us anywhere, especially when our values are so different. This is only to your benefit; just look at the vast resources that were available to Remain and Clinton, and how both were defeated because their camps had no interest in learning how their opponents thought, except to denigrate them as cartoonish villains and low-information fools. We all know the Sun Tzu quote
Understanding can only take you so far until you bang your head against the brick wall of political antagonism: two contradictory truths, two irreconcilable versions of reality, absolutely nothing in between.
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4823 on: February 08, 2017, 03:10:05 pm »

The four leading parties are all firmly against progressive ideology, and they represent the overwhelming total of Russian population. The word "progressive" itself is treated with wariness by the people. We are safe and secure from the tendrils of decadence, my friend!
Immunized against one form, but you're defending against something inherently formless
What "other" forms there are?
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Silverthrone

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4824 on: February 08, 2017, 04:49:46 pm »

I once read a heartbreaking letter from a man who wrote to one of my local hospitals, he was completely upset his mother had gone blind for lack of treatment, placed at the back of the queue of smokers and obesity patients, who really should know better :|

I am a smoker, and I am quite prepared to let someone pass ahead of me in the queue if that does put me into need for healthcare. It just seems fair; it is a known risk. Of course, that is as long as I am not booted out of the rank entirely when I am there because of a broken knee or something other entirely unrelated.

I do sometimes feel as if I am feebly dangling on a tether rope trailing behind it. But I shall never let go.
Well I always say it's never too late for damage control

Just look at climate change. Humanity is way past the point of causing irreversible damage but it's better to start fixing things late than never

Of course. It is never too hopeless to do what one can. And in my case, where would I even go? Not to mention, there are some reassuring signs that things are changing for the better, albeit slowly.

It is. Rehabilitation can, indeed, be taken too far, when the concerns for a perpetrator eclipse the concern for a victim. In general, it seems as if the idea of a sentencing being a punishment and deterrent has largely been discarded.
Nah it hasn't been discarded, it's just not in favour with elites. Even in the UK for example half the country still supports capital punishment whilst the entirety of the political, media and academic UK is largely against it - I would much like to see death penalty for repeat offenders, but not first time offenders. I do believe people should be allowed second chances, without taking liberties with the law, but I am yet to find any leaders in the west who agree.

I am, all together, in favour of the death penalty. There are times where it is best. Criminals of exceptional cruelty and inhumanity, for instance, the sort that cannot, should not, ever be released. The guillotine is the most dignified thing to employ in such cases, I believe. It is not something I demand very loudly, but I would not be unhappy to see it return as an option. Mr. Anders Eklund can take the maiden voyage, as it were. Save his fellow prisoners the bother of beating him when they get a chance.


Personally, I would like repeat criminals of this type to be exiled, without delay. It would be better for everyone, including those migrants that intend to, and do, behave.
It would be cruel however, to inflict upon home countries these repeat criminals - especially since they will transfer all the "skills"  and connections they learned in Europe to criminal gangs to their exile destination. Capital or life punishment minimizes their risk to domestic and international populaces, and genuinely there are some prisons abroad that are worse than death, things I would hesitate even to send repeat murderers to.

That is true, I suppose, but that sort of life-long detention carries troubles of its own. However, there has been some development today, in that the German and Swedish governments have finally managed to persuade the Moroccan government to accept an arrangement where Moroccan street children (if that term is appropriate is a discussion of its own) are accepted back into the country, and into a treatment program. I do grumble somewhat, that the Moroccans would not accept their own citizens back until Swedish-German funds to arrange orphanages for them came through, but it is, indeed, something.
It is, after all, rather difficult to send away someone to a homeland that will not have them, and it would either be an arrangement like this or sneaking them back in with submarines in the dead of night, I suppose.

It it impossible to say how long a sentence actually will be, or how the appeal will be handled. However, their businesses and reputations have been soundly scuttled, so there is at least that.
"At least" is a killer phrase lol

Well, true. It is simply quite a relief to see a case where their crimes carry real consequence. These people lived on their reputation and standing, as a pair of swell chaps with connections and money. This particular kind of creature (venue owners that uses their influence and ownership to do sex crime) have a tendency to slip off the hook far too lightly, even accounting for the dreadful standards on the matter, so this is a very welcome change of course.


Now then, from sex crime to Nazi terrorism: the group calling itself the Nordic Resistance Movement (Nordiska Motståndsrörelsen) has been up to quite a few tricks lately in and around the city of Gothenburg.
...
As a very unfortunate aside, this movement have also, at times, appeared at bath houses to act as sort of volunteer security guards (that is, to speak plainly, to keep the gropey Afghans in line), which has caused some quarrels here and there. However, since sexual harrassment incidents seem to become rather common in public baths, one wonders why nothing seems to be done to fill the gap that they are evidently trying to plug themselves. It is a very unfortunate affair when Nazi militias are, in effect, providing an important social service.
Speaking of, they are at least not as bone-idle as the chaps in the Soldier of Odin-gangs. What they are doing with their time, I do not know, but it does not seem to be patroling the streets and keeping them safe. If they wanted to do some good for the community, there are plenty of areas in the city centre where they could do some good.
How large are these paramilitary groups and is there a connection between the mass resignation of Sweden's police and the rise of these neo-nazi shocktroopers? You don't hear so much about these neo-fascists in detail in foreign news, they tend to slip under the radar where islamic machete men at least reach page 15 headlines


I am unsure of how large they are, statistics tend to be rather inconclusive and I have been rather out of the loop until they rather recently went "Surprise! Fail Shitler!" again. But it is not a particularly large group, I would be surprised if the NMR could number more than about twenty thousand, in alles. They are, however, motivated and quite well organised, which is what sets them apart from most earlier Nazi groups in the country. They are, by and large, far fever than the various left-wing activist that they are feuding with. Particularly if you count in the Antifa-kids (Which evidently have a chapter in America these days).
They are, luckily, not particularly para-military yet. They no doubt do have access to firearms and evidently to explosives, but they are not militias in the sense of The Troubles, for instance.

As for the police involvement, I am also unsure. There are a few, no doubt. But by and large, the sort of person who becomes a policeman is usually not the same "type" that sympathise with Nazism and joins that sort of groups. The resignations are mainly due to poor leadership and organisation, along with a staggering work-load, rather than an alienation towards the state. Not to mention, it is unclear if the NMR would generally accept former policemen as recruits in most cases. The piggies and the rozzers generally do not get along, and the police still have a particular grudge towards Nazi organisations, following a murder in 1999 (Very brief summary: three men involved in various Nazi movements joined together to rob a bank. Two policemen where murdered during their escape. They were eventually caught, and are serving life sentences.) Cop killers are not popular, be it Chicago or Mjölby, and 18 years are likely not enough to digest that sentiment.

While the NMR are, obviously, quite dangerous, running about with explosives and what-not, they are still not particularly fearsome as a directly political force. They still (amusingly) rely on the police to protect their rallies and marches from the left-wing activists (and the police are called Nazi-enablers and swines and bastards and what-not for their trouble), and have very little actual control of the situation. While there no doubt has been more recruits these last years, they are still outnumbered, distrusted and disrespected. And with more of this bombing business, they might very well be outlawed, too. They might rally, grow and claw themselves some influence, but Nazism in Sweden does not seem to have a particularly bright future. And that is at least something to be happy about.
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Vilanat

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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4826 on: February 08, 2017, 05:59:04 pm »

Spoiler: Tl;dr (click to show/hide)

How have I lived so long without this?
This is only made worsebetter because I keep reading it as "khemri tv"
I can finally understand why Mossad steals their shoes
Spoiler: Meanwhile at IDF HQ (click to show/hide)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4827 on: February 08, 2017, 06:05:15 pm »

As for the police involvement, I am also unsure. There are a few, no doubt. But by and large, the sort of person who becomes a policeman is usually not the same "type" that sympathise with Nazism and joins that sort of groups. The resignations are mainly due to poor leadership and organisation, along with a staggering work-load, rather than an alienation towards the state. Not to mention, it is unclear if the NMR would generally accept former policemen as recruits in most cases. The piggies and the rozzers generally do not get along, and the police still have a particular grudge towards Nazi organisations, following a murder in 1999 (Very brief summary: three men involved in various Nazi movements joined together to rob a bank. Two policemen where murdered during their escape. They were eventually caught, and are serving life sentences.) Cop killers are not popular, be it Chicago or Mjölby, and 18 years are likely not enough to digest that sentiment.
Nah, I wasn't implying they're recruiting the police, I'm wondering if they're recruiting in the absence of police. You get examples in the UK, Japan, Italy and so on where in the absence of law enforcement by state actors, you get the emergence of organized crime acting as a cross between an extortion racket and a vigilante group in the power vacuum
Pay money or you don't get protection etc.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4828 on: February 08, 2017, 06:07:25 pm »

What "other" forms there are?
Fuck if I know what form the formless takes, that's like trying to categorize what random finnish memelords will make next. It's impossible
Pffft. A formless enemy is an enemy without discipline, without hierarchy. In other words, it a weak enemy that will surely be crushed by an organized might of Russia! Ura, comrades! Gip-gip - ura! Gip-gip - ura! Gip-gip - uraaaaaa!
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4829 on: February 08, 2017, 06:47:44 pm »

What "other" forms there are?
Fuck if I know what form the formless takes, that's like trying to categorize what random finnish memelords will make next. It's impossible
Pffft. A formless enemy is an enemy without discipline, without hierarchy. In other words, it a weak enemy that will surely be crushed by an organized might of Russia! Ura, comrades! Gip-gip - ura! Gip-gip - ura! Gip-gip - uraaaaaa!
You guys of all should know how ideological subversion works
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