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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098353 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4845 on: February 12, 2017, 03:19:08 am »

Wow that nurse shortage is more urgent than I thought.
Beginning of 2016, there was a projected shortage of 1000 nurses / care workers.
Right now, there's a shortage of between 8000 and 10000. If after the elections we want to improve elderly care, as promised by quite a few parties, we even need 70000 more nurses and care workers.

70 thousand nurses short. On a population of 17 million. That's a lot of people we need to send to medical school fast :P
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4846 on: February 12, 2017, 06:50:23 am »

How is multiple cancer patients a good thing?....
The disease is called multiple myeloma. It's not as much a matter of having more of it being a good thing, as it is about this: I'd rather run a haemato-oncology consultation than the current general-haematology consultation I'm doing (in which I can't actually prescribe chemo because of the limitations of the place, and on top of that I get a lot of chaff that should be directed to internal medicine or gastroenterology but for some reason is sent to my turf instead). Therefore leaving is a better career opportunity than staying here.
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Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4847 on: February 12, 2017, 07:20:46 am »

Meanwile in Paris, a protest against police violence erupted into riots. A few hundred people smashed windows of government buildings and supermarkets, and set fire to cars and garbage bins.

The protests were organized by two school kids, after the police arrested 22-year old Théo, for refusing to show his ID. After being released straight into hospital, Théo accused the police of anal raping him with a baton. In hospital, bleeding wounds were found in his anus, as well as a ruptured beavis, and he had to undergo emergency surgery.
The arresting officer has been arrested and charged with rape, 3 other officers present have been charged with physical abuse.

At first the two scholars did try to prevent escalation, when about 2 thousand people showed up for their protest. They said "violence does not serve our cause. It makes us look feral, and no one will hear our righteous indignation anymore". Despite their efforts, at the end of the afternoon, things went ugly and riots started.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-38892302

EDIT: after reading the BBC article, apparently this was the second weekend that saw protests and riots. The riots I reported above the link are fresh, happened yesterday, according to the volks rant. The riots reported by the BBC article were last week.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2017, 07:31:38 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

da_nang

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"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
Future supplanter of humanity.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4849 on: February 14, 2017, 04:20:10 pm »

The Netherlands' largest employment agency, Randstad, has announced that they want to attract more immigrants, to be precise, they want 80 thousand more immigrants per year.
Director of Randstad, Jacques van den Broek says that even though the political climate is all about stopping immigration, shortages on the job market really need the 80 thousand immigrants, mostly to fill higher education vacancies, before our economic growth will be seriously damaged by the shortage of professionals.
"I plea for a pro-active immigration policy, which means we should actively search for educated workers", van den Broek says. "We know were they are. They are all over the world. In India, but also in Spain".

Van den Broek's plea finds support from our national welfare agency, UWV, which is responsible for paying temporary unemployment benefits, sickness benefits and disability benefits, as well as being responsible for reintegration of the unemployed.
"More and more employers are reporting they are having trouble filling vacancies."
The most affected are the ICT and technical sector, next to healthcare, cosntruction and education. For the technical sector, there is a shortage of electricians, plumbers, and maintnance mechanics. The ICT sector badly needs programmers. The construction sector needs professional masons and carpenters.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4850 on: February 14, 2017, 05:12:50 pm »

That sounds like a very reasonable idea. Who doesn't want educated, high-qualified immigration?
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4851 on: February 14, 2017, 05:28:42 pm »

The burocrats who have to go over the paperwork. I swear they go out of their way to make trouble.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4852 on: February 14, 2017, 07:51:10 pm »

That sounds like a very reasonable idea. Who doesn't want educated, high-qualified immigration?
Ideally you want your education system to be producing highly educated and qualified workers instead of people who can name 90 genders and orientations - the proposal is not to impose selective migration to have a regular flow of high-qualified immigration, the proposal is to increase the Netherlands' immigration to at least 80 thousand more per year. With no control on the qualifications or age of migrants, their proposal would merely compound their problem, they would do much better to select for aspirant students with good qualifications and adequate finances. Moreover, without an increase in the number and quality of technical schools, yet an increase in unskilled immigrants, they would have failed to remove the limiting factor to their skilled workforce. This will have come at a time where the Dutch are increasingly concerned with assimilating their migrant cultures into the Dutch one, which of course would be impossible with such a high rate of immigration, leading to much the same problems we've always been rattling on about.

Cut or reduce tuition fees/fund bursars for STEM subjects and Technical schools, there you go, that instantly makes the subjects 100% more attractive for those who don't want to cut off an arm to pay for their education. More importantly, it directs students away from subjects that are bloated with graduates and into fields where there are always shortages, to that end Western nations are incredibly retarded. You get the same people saying that bursars for prospecting female students into STEM works in increasing the attractiveness of the field, then turning around and saying that investing in STEM will not work because we need less border control lol

Doing a brief look at the attractiveness of Dutch unis, I noticed they're not in as high demand as English speaking Unis to international students. Probably an unfair reputation given that the Dutch mostly all speak English anyways, so maybe some good advertising of that simple fact could dispel the myth to international students. To financial concerns good maintenance loans or grants, lower tuition fees and the promise of work placement/extended visas upon completion of education (the last is probably the most important) would drastically increase the popular draw of Dutch unis, and moreover ensure that migrants they educate don't just fly over to the USA upon graduation for example. Have a flexible housing policy so you don't deter fundamentalist students, which is a serious concern for atheist Dutch who don't understand why strict Sunnis don't want to live on campus surrounded by drugs, booze and partying.
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"I plea for a pro-active immigration policy, which means we should actively search for educated workers", van den Broek says. "We know were they are. They are all over the world. In India, but also in Spain".
This bit is very agreeable in particular. People don't really think "oh I want to move to Netherlands" but if you bump into some international ambassadors from a Dutch Uni capable of selling you some image of world class technical training in a European Uni with subsequent employment in cutting edge companies, well, that sounds so much better doesn't it?

But yeah, from Randstad, gen z and millennials are the most ambitious and commercially minded generation, but feel they are unprepared for the modern labour market with the education they have. Europeans don't see how they could obviously kill two birds with one stone by teaching their kids and actually looking out for their future instead of responding to everything with "fuck borders and laws and shit". There is also a curious discordance between Westerners and their desire to have eternal economic growth driven by population growth, and their revulsion to actually founding families and growing their population, one that never makes sense without a total embrace of the self as most important. To say nothing of their leaders lel. Imo community is always more important than commerce, even though one hopes never to need choose :]

Capitalism. Capitalism never changes.
Capitalism always changes, just as quickly as one spends loose change
One even fears that the future shall be little more than a conflict to see which capitalism reigns supreme. But that would be ludicrous

Vilanat

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4853 on: February 15, 2017, 12:49:05 am »

Maybe it's the cynical in me, but everytime i see those claims i automaticaly translates it as "We need more lower paid proffesionals to cut our expenses so i could grant myself a bigger paycheck."
« Last Edit: February 15, 2017, 02:30:03 am by Vilanat »
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4854 on: February 15, 2017, 01:22:27 am »

Maybe it's the cynical in me, but everytime i see those claims i automaticaly transates that as "We need more lower paid proffesionals to cut our expenses so i could grant myself a bigger paycheck."
Well, that IS capitalism. Always good to remember a company's primary objective is to generate money.
Well, profit. Which is the difference between your income and expenses, and it's a lot easier to control your expenses than your income...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4855 on: February 15, 2017, 01:47:23 pm »

Maybe it's the cynical in me, but everytime i see those claims i automaticaly transates that as "We need more lower paid proffesionals to cut our expenses so i could grant myself a bigger paycheck."
Well, that IS capitalism. Always good to remember a company's primary objective is to generate money.
Hector's nailed it, cos if it was just about generating money then we'd just keep printing money until zimbabwe

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4856 on: February 15, 2017, 04:09:33 pm »

Maybe it's the cynical in me, but everytime i see those claims i automaticaly transates that as "We need more lower paid proffesionals to cut our expenses so i could grant myself a bigger paycheck."
Well, that IS capitalism. Always good to remember a company's primary objective is to generate money.
Hector's nailed it, cos if it was just about generating money then we'd just keep printing money until zimbabwe

Good thing companies can't print infinite money. Plus, if you want to maximize your profit on paper, inflating your currency also works: you can make BILLIONS in your business, with which you might be able to buy a used sandwich.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4857 on: February 15, 2017, 07:41:30 pm »

Sadly where companies can't print infinite money, banks can

Quantitatively Ease my sandwich savings into oblivion

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4858 on: February 16, 2017, 07:46:37 am »

Sadly where companies can't print infinite money, banks can

Quantitatively Ease my sandwich savings into oblivion

Well, QE is Central Banks, not any bank. And while bank can create money, they're usually limited to a multiple of the deposits they own. Plus the way they create it is by creating loans, they can't just add zeroes to their revenues for lulz.
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Culise

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4859 on: February 16, 2017, 08:30:55 am »

Indeed, though, there's a certainly a reason that they don't have the power to print unlimited currency or promissory notes.  It rarely ends well.
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