Have the 80 normal cultists do the summoning ritual, the best author among my cultists is to write a holy book for the Tax Goat, the five high places cultists are to put ad campaigns for the Tax Goat, and the Tax Goat shall Tax away a large underground bunker from some doomsday prepper.
1: You have 80 visitors.
1: While thinking of ideas for the book one of them mutters "Ya know, Tax Goat looks kind of like the devil, how to spin this, how to spin this..." as a priest passed within earshot, the book sold well and burnt wonderfully.
No roll: you aren't able to get within 50 feet or even a measly physical plane.
-PR, 80 cultists banished
I: attempt to Convince the Balrog to join my cult.
mafia underlings: "Borrow" skyies nuke, we wont return it.
K inquisitors: start assembling my helicopters... this will get messy...
100 Cultists: start looking for books of magic, particularly: Blood magic....
other 100: Get me doctors, STAT!
6: "Ok! can you fix the ceiling you broke through? And replace the gold plates and cutlery you melted down and sold? And fix the plumbing? The magma's tepid. And evict this tiny creepy squatter, he keeps rubbing and muttering to something, prolly a dead rat, or a live one...
3: they drag it for a minute or two then watch cat videos for the rest of the day, just like me and making updates.
6: HELICOPTERS!!!!!!!! SO MANY!! WRENCH! HYDROCUTTER!! PRODUCTIONLINE!!! BUILD! BUILD! BUILD!
2: They get a small tome that meticulously details how to apply a bandage, the fact that this counts as blood magic to your cultists probably means that you need some new ones, also the bandage the book refers to has already been used.
4: They get a friendly xenobiologist/nurse to treat the wounds, he got paid by being allowed to publish his findings.
No longer wounded, can recruit balrog(need to spend a few turns personally cleaning up), cars just fad, helicopters are here to stay, mafia underlings managing global personal helicopter empire.
ME: whisper into the minds of people with fanatical tendencies that "I the tortoise messiah have scoured the land through my psychic powers for the most righteous people to become my apostles and i have found you more virtuous than any other so come to the temple of the wise tortoise" (basically recruit some false chosen for the tortoise and his false cult i am trying to make)
cultists: errm unbrainwash yourself? maybe get some food...
" a used leaf blower" what a low down insult you should now that my uncle who was an eldritch used leaf blower died last week i always wanted to be different from him but now that he's dead i realise how much exquisite evil stuff he's done *sobs* YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
5: awareness of the tortoise rises dramatically overnight and without apparent cause.
1: They sort crawl around jibbering then start to rot then stop jibbering
No cultists, tortoise gained dedicated worship
(You skipped the 'loot helicopter' roll for crazyabe.)
Armor up my best and best armed guys.(not the merc's though).
NUKE!! Bont da lifas! Don't miss!. If I don't have a way to do it from afar, replace this action with: Nothing. (Or whatever that power was called)
Have as many people as needed do the wood ritual.
Me: Recruit cultists.
No roll: They slip the armor on
3: They do manage to drag it back to base
3: The rest of them carve a few wooden plates and helmets out of wood, it'll stop guns and such but it still can get through chinks, drowning's a problem, so's acid, heat is bad, cold to, and of course fire, the armor will be fine but the occupant will be charcoal, and finally just plain excessive force will kill the wearer however much the armor spreads the force.
6: You come off as needy and a bit desperate, some come help out of pity.
+50 armor +50 cultists, 50 cultists armored
Tax goatTMFollowers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists with you, 48 heavily armed cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood, purge ritual
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, bad PR
KinesisFollowers: *tumbleweed*
You: summoned
Items: Orb of Stalwart, Incompetence-B-gone [1] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion).
Haters: 80 inquisitors, ritual of banishment, purge ritual
PR: poor PR
Areas: NY crater, flaming Roperary
TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)
SkyiesFollowers: 9 cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, 80 cultists armed with flamethrowers/bombs, trained komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armored armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists), 50 lightly armed boring cultists, 50 cultists purge ritual
You: Summoned, in full body cast for the next [1] turns
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with Orb of stalwart 1 with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 2 light weapons, Training facility, Tactical nuke, Invincible wood rune, 50 armor
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places, 101 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal location
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.
Bont da lifasYou: Summoned
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 200 cultists, 25 hidden cultists.
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, big hole, attack helicopter(a thank you for the starting boost)
Misc.: Balrog unsure
Haters:
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[3] turns
WorldLocations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill (I should total up all the cultist and inquisitor deaths too)
Events:
Misc: "Inquisitor con" where inquisitors convene, helicopters have replaced cars