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[Hiddenleafguy]

((Wait whut, the ads were online D:

Also, does my komodo dragon not count as trained now?))



Me: Spread word of the wisdom of the tortoise. (to help Hiddenleafguy's actions). Also, tell all criminals in the region that I freed them!

10 cultists: Free and recruit criminals.

52 lightly armed very well trained cultists go ASSAULT Inquisitors!

50 heavily armed trained cultists, go to Kinesis and help him with any inconveniences that may come from Bont da lifas (yes I know that if I roll a 1 I'll be giving these guys to Kinesis, but it's whatever. Take it as a sign of my goodwill, Kinesis!)

50 armed cultists and 50 heavily armed trained cultists make a deal with mercenaries to give them all of one of the rich guys money (should be at least 1 mil to 5 bil, right? Which is plenty.) if they also come help us.

50 other cultists go help Tax Goat's campaign.

10 other cultists attempt to summon me again.

Spoiler: For the Goat's eyes only! (click to show/hide)

Who do you want me to nuke?

Spoiler: For The Moonlit Shadow's eyes only (click to show/hide)

Sure, but I will have to throw you under the bus for it.

[carp]

ME: roll the orb of stalwart onto dry land using telkinesis and draggin the top of the orb (incompetence-B-gone charge 1)
cultists get out of the flaming ropeary and summon me (incompetence-B-gone charges 2 and 3)
so using the incompetence-B-gone's charges i should be summoned now right?

1: Pump comes out of water, water stops, cultists now under rock.

i consider that a success... errmm that's not my speech
this is mah speech
look at me i am cool i threw new york into the ocean i can throw you into the ocean (pick's up a mic through telekinesis and drops it)

[Hiddenleafguy]

((I be confused. Wat?))

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

((Sure, but I will have to blame you publicly, to keep face.))

[Hiddenleafguy]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But who?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My enemy, of course, the one with my kidnapped cultists.

[Evonix]

((Wait whut, the ads were online D:

Also, does my komodo dragon not count as trained now?))



Me: Spread word of the wisdom of the tortoise. (to help Hiddenleafguy's actions). Also, tell all criminals in the region that I freed them!

10 cultists: Free and recruit criminals.

52 lightly armed very well trained cultists go ASSAULT Inquisitors! I mean, their bases because all of them are at Inquisitor con.

50 heavily armed trained cultists, go to Kinesis and help him with any inconveniences that may come from Bont da lifas (yes I know that if I roll a 1 I'll be giving these guys to Kinesis, but it's whatever. Take it as a sign of my goodwill, Kinesis!)

50 armed cultists and 50 heavily armed trained cultists make a deal with mercenaries to give them all of one of the rich guys money (should be at least 1 mil to 5 bil, right? Which is plenty.) if they also come help us.

50 other cultists go help Tax Goat's campaign.

10 other cultists attempt to summon me again.

Spoiler: For the Goat's eyes only! (click to show/hide)

Who do you want me to nuke?

6: You do that, people build a small temple around it, occasionally they shall journey to the temple with an offering and an important question, they interpret the tortoise's ensuing silence as an answer of some kind and then leave, satisfied.
4: Some embezzlers seem keen and accept the offer, so do some miscellaneous overly angry people who just want to get out.
6: As none of the inquisitors have (intact) bases they utterly demolish the resurgent witch hunters base, as the witch hunters were in the base at the time they won't be coming after you.
6: They say stuff like "Kinisis reduces big city smog", "Kinisis is tackling the overpopulation problem, one idiotic blunder at a time" and "He's a nice guy all right?" as they said all these things while holding people at gunpoint it was very effective but mysteriously reverted after they left.
5: They find there IS more money in helping you.
6: They drown the comment boards and shout in the streets, they become quite a nuisance and nobody really listens to them anymore.
6: A slight relative velocity miscalculation sends you through the wall with a fairly impressive crash and dust cloud.
-tortus +tortoise temple +80 cultists +50 trained cultists +Merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists)[2] turns, Kinisis PR about the same, 50 heavily armed cultists ignored, summoned, heavily wounded, barn damaged

ME: roll the orb of stalwart onto dry land using telkinesis and draggin the top of the orb (incompetence-B-gone charge 1)
cultists get out of the flaming ropeary and summon me (incompetence-B-gone charges 2 and 3)
so using the incompetence-B-gone's charges i should be summoned now right?

1: Pump comes out of water, water stops, cultists now under rock.

i consider that a success... errmm that's not my speech
this is mah speech
look at me i am cool i threw new york into the ocean i can throw you into the ocean (pick's up a mic through telekinesis and drops it)

4: You roll it onto the ground without incident.
2: (Reroll) 4: As the orb was inside the flaming Roaperary the cultists access it without issue. Then summon you in an almost supernaturally dull way.

Send my 15 leadership men to do their own speeches, passing out flyers of all the stupid things Bont, has done, including several things that didn't happen.

Publicly denounce (Through the tortoise, three cultists, and the slime) Bont Da Lifas for causing the event, including to mention the fact that he has kidnapped 50 people from the town of Belford, and that they must be freed, or I, will throw the full force of my funding against him.

5: Your smear campaign rakes him through the mud
5: They convince Bont's jailers to release your cultists
-Bont da lifas PR, cultists freed

My Speech: Which of the four Candidates would you like to have, The Mind controlling Goat That is Attacking my Reputation? I Believe it is an insane mutant with no regard for earth! Then There is Kinesis, he drowns his own people and claims that it's an Accident over E-Book, He is as incompetent as they come, he even Flooded New York After setting up a massive Flaming Roperary around his cult as an insult to stupidity! And finally you have Skyles, he drove local law enforcement insane in his stupidity!! I have gathered many people to follow me and they are almost all alive! I Am also the only one that is actually here! So which one of us do you want?

(Since I probably can do both at the same time, If not, Just do the Speech instead of the action.)
My action: I change the biome of Kinesis's Pontoon base to "Arctic".

Cultists: Serve the Decanter of endless kool-aid to everyone that is not a part of this cult so they vote for me!

Mafia Underlings: Rig the votes in my favor!

Inquisitors: Give out papers that point out all the stupid things Kinesis, Skyles, and the Taxgoat have done, to anyone and everyone that shows up to inquisitor con.

1: The fire and ice balance neatly, although Kinisis's cultists can still get lost it's no longer fatal
6: the pump-and-rune contraption they set up floods everywhere
2: Not enough time, they would have needed to change stuff while the voting system was still being planned.
5: They are newly aggravated, they shall be a bit more vicious from now on.
Base flooded, Roaperary traversable


Inquisitor Con!
Dislikers of the occult gather from all round and trade horror stories, grumble about things and occasionally get things done.
Relax and plan
Try and recover research
discuss if inquisitors would do better in different groups
2: They get the relax part down.
4: Skyies inquisitors write down what they remember of the purge ritual, although it is not the complete ritual by a long shot and the devices necessary to keep the ingredients stable were destroyed in the fire finding the ritual again will be much easier for them all
1: Suggesting cooperation! The shear GALL of that guy! Onto the stake with him!
And so inquisitor con ends


Election!
Tax Goat gets 2 from a good campaign and one more just from running so 3.
Kinisis only has 1 point and poor PR, as it's just poor and not bad I will roll to see if it's -1 (1-3 for -1, 4-6 for 0) and it's 6! he gets a chance. Although destroying a city is generally not good speech material he gets a point for audacity so in all 2.
Skies is fairly neutral in the public eye, those starting voters are all he has to go on so 1.
Bont Da Lifas's bad PR cancels out his starting voters yet his good speech and that "almost all are alive" is a vast improvement over previous presidents and the other candidates gets him 2 points of support

1-3 Tax goat. 4-5 Kinisis. 6 Skyies. 7-8 Bont Da Lifas. 19-20 reroll
and The Roll!: 18... It's just a tad of an anticlimax, Joe Dullson gets the presidency




Tax goat^TM
Followers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists, 48 heavily armed cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood.
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, The voting public like your one platform campaign.

Kinesis
Followers: 50 impoverished cultists. 25 cultists.
You: summoned
Items: Pontoon base, Orb of Stalwart 3 on fountain spout, Dragons blood, Incompetence-B-gone [3] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion).
Haters: 80 inquisitors, ritual of banishment.
PR: poor PR
Areas: NY crater(filled with water), slightly flaming Roperary^TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)

Skyies
Followers: 9 cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, 101 cultists, trained komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists)[2] turns, 50 boring cultists
You: Summoned, heavily wounded
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with Orb of stalwart 1 with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 52 light weapons, 100 Flamethrowers/bombs, Training facility, Wooden glyph of warding, Tactical nuke.
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places, 101 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal location
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.

Bont da lifas
You: Summoned
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 200 cultists, 200 armed mafia underlings, 25 hidden cultists
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, 50 kidnapped hidden Tax goat cultists.
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[3] turns

World
Locations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill
Events: elections now, 19-20 on the votey die shall result in a reroll.
Misc: inquisitor con, where inquisitors convene

[crazyabe]

Now lets do some more damage...
I Change the Biome of Kinesis's base as much as I can, in the direction of causing it to start Erupting into a new Volcano.

Kinesis Inquisitors: Spam Kinesis's Cult with Messages to Join MY Cult.

Mafia Underlings: "Procure" A Helicopter, We'l Need it soon...

50 Cultists: Drain the Kool-aid out of the temple, and Stop it from refilling.

Other 150 Cultists: Start digging out a Bunker Under the Temple to the music of "Diggy Diggy Hole" if the first 50 Cultists do there job right.

[Hiddenleafguy]

((I'm demand a chance at vice president, or the chance to lie about me going for Secretary of Treasury.))

[carp]

ME: hmm what to do with enough power to turn a state into a wasteland hmmmmmm.... I KNOW float the tortoise a few feet above the ground so people think he's the tortoise messiah
culists make one of the pontoon how's into a large shrine for me to live in.

[Evonix]

Goat? you going?

[Hiddenleafguy]

Goat? you going?

Whisper into the minds of the U.S government that they must vote the president out of office.

[Evonix]

Goat? you going?

Whisper into the minds of the U.S government that they must vote the president out of office.

4: They vote out the pres and enstate the vice prez, or will in a few weeks when the paperwork is sorted out.

ME: hmm what to do with enough power to turn a state into a wasteland hmmmmmm.... I KNOW float the tortoise a few feet above the ground so people think he's the tortoise messiah
cultists make one of the pontoon how's into a large shrine for me to live in.

5: Somebody was asking whether apples or oranges were better when it floated up with a low background ohmmmm. He took this as a sign that it was nether and bananas were clearly the superior fruit.
4: They make a small tasteful shrine painted in a color that kinisis shows up well against, such a nice ssshrine, shame if sssomething were to happen to it...
+shrine, tortoise levitated

This is it.

Actually no.

Perform wood ritual with 100 normal cultists, 50 boring cultists, and 50 trained cultists.

Send a messenger to Kinesis with the following message:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nope. Not putting it in here. Instead I'll request the ability to PM Kinesis for 1 turn.

The messenger will a normal cultist.

9 rich cultists: Get more reinforcing metals/materials, as well as military grade body armor.

200 mercs: Try and find more heavy weapons, these guys are mercs they should have connections, right? Also, offer 1 billion dollars over a year, compared to 1 million a day, if they agree to the contract. It's a better deal! A year of 1 million a day is 365 million, while a billion a year is, a billion a year!

100 heavily armed trained cultists repair the base. With the materials I obtained this turn. Else, use the tungsten and graphene*.

Arm everyone not currently armed with any available weapons. Arm them from the order of most trained to least trained.

Ask everyone if they were a vet/retired field medic/doctor/nurse. See if they can help me.

Train everyone not doing something else. Keep them away from anything important that they might break. Train the unarmed ones in hand-to-hand, invent a new style of fighting called Sakila.

Me: Rest and try to heal my wounds. Recruit some boys(z) with surveillance drones (and know how to use them), as well as their families.

6: The vast and elaborate carving they produced around the barn takes a hundred to operate but can turn wood entirely indestructible.
1: The cultist calls him "A discount leafblower".
4: They got some bullet resistant kevlar vests, suitable for resisting handguns.
5: You promise to give them a billion dollars if they work for you for the foreseeable future, for some reason they believe you have that much money.
2: No.
No roll You give your dull cultists the well trained guys hand me downs and the others the flamelobbers/'nades
6: They doctor you up real gud.
+Invincible wood rune +50 armor, Kinisis insulted, mercs hired long term, 130 cultists equipped, In full body cast for next 2 turns

Now lets do some more damage...
I Change the Biome of Kinesis's base as much as I can, in the direction of causing it to start Erupting into a new Volcano.

Kinesis Inquisitors: Spam Kinesis's Cult with Messages to Join MY Cult.

Mafia Underlings: "Procure" A Helicopter, We'll Need it soon...

50 Cultists: Drain the Kool-aid out of the temple, and Stop it from refilling.

Other 150 Cultists: Start digging out a Bunker Under the Temple to the music of "Diggy Diggy Hole" if the first 50 Cultists do there job right.

1 power is not going to cut it, 3 would be a place to start for spontaneous volcano generation 6: The lake boils, you get caught in the blast, although kinisis cultists survived, they got some burns and a few broken bones from the fall, his base did not, full stop.
6: Adoration fills their eyes, they try to run over to you, on broken legs.
2: Less kool-aid? they don't quite grasp your point.
6: they delve too deep and greedily...
6: They waylay a helicopter supply shipment
Wounded +balrog +big hole +bunch of helicopter parts shipments, kinisis cultists heavily wounded and brainwashed



Tax goat^TM
Followers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists, 48 heavily armed cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood, purge ritual
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, The voting public like your one platform campaign.

Kinesis
Followers: 50 impoverished cultists. 25 cultists. All heavily wounded and brainwashed by bont
You: summoned
Items: Pontoon base, Orb of Stalwart 3 on fountain spout, Dragons blood, Incompetence-B-gone [1] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion).
Haters: 80 inquisitors, ritual of banishment, purge ritual
PR: poor PR
Areas: NY crater, flaming Roperary^TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)

Skyies
Followers: 9 cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, 80 cultists armed with flamethrowers/bombs, trained komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists), 50 lightly armed boring cultists, purge ritual
You: Summoned, in full body cast for the next [2] turns
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with Orb of stalwart 1 with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 52 light weapons, Training facility, Tactical nuke, Invincible wood rune, 50 armor
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places, 101 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal location
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.

Bont da lifas
You: Summoned, wounded
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 200 cultists, 200 armed mafia underlings, 25 hidden cultists
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, big hole, bunch of helicopter parts shipments
Haters: Balrog
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[3] turns

World
Locations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill (I should total up all the cultist and inquisitor deaths too)
Events:
Misc: inquisitor con, where inquisitors convene
[/quote]

Prolly missed something

[carp]

ME: whisper into the minds of people with fanatical tendencies that "I the tortoise messiah have scoured the land through my psychic powers for the most righteous people to become my apostles  and i have found you more virtuos than any other so come to the temple of the wise tortoise" (basically recruit some false chosen for the tortoise and his false cult i am trying to make)
cultists: errm unbrainwash yourself? maybe get some food...

 " a used leaf blower" what a low down insult you should now that my uncle who was an eldritch used leaf blower died last week i always wanted to be diffrent from him but now that he's dead i realise how much exquisite evil stuff he's done *sobs* YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
 "

[crazyabe]

I: attempt to Convince the Balrog to join my cult.
mafia underlings: "Borrow" skyies nuke, we wont return it.
K inquisiters: start assembling my helicopters... this will get messy...
100 Cultists: start looking for books of magic, particulaly: Blood magic....
other 100: Get me doctors, STAT!

[crazyabe]

((I Am Assuming THIS is what he meant with the LOTR reference... So ya if  i get it I get a Nigh immortal Monster.))

[Hiddenleafguy]

Have the 80 normal cultists do the summoning ritual, the best author among my cultists is to write a holy book for the Tax Goat, the five high places cultists are to put ad campaigns for the Tax Goat, and the Tax Goat shall Tax away a large underground bunker from some doomsday preper.