((Wait whut, the ads were online D:
Also, does my komodo dragon not count as trained now?))
Me: Spread word of the wisdom of the tortoise. (to help Hiddenleafguy's actions). Also, tell all criminals in the region that I freed them!
10 cultists: Free and recruit criminals.
52 lightly armed very well trained cultists go ASSAULT Inquisitors! I mean, their bases because all of them are at Inquisitor con.
50 heavily armed trained cultists, go to Kinesis and help him with any inconveniences that may come from Bont da lifas (yes I know that if I roll a 1 I'll be giving these guys to Kinesis, but it's whatever. Take it as a sign of my goodwill, Kinesis!)
50 armed cultists and 50 heavily armed trained cultists make a deal with mercenaries to give them all of one of the rich guys money (should be at least 1 mil to 5 bil, right? Which is plenty.) if they also come help us.
50 other cultists go help Tax Goat's campaign.
10 other cultists attempt to summon me again.
Who do you want me to nuke?
6: You do that, people build a small temple around it, occasionally they shall journey to the temple with an offering and an important question, they interpret the tortoise's ensuing silence as an answer of some kind and then leave, satisfied.
4: Some embezzlers seem keen and accept the offer, so do some miscellaneous overly angry people who just want to get out.
6: As none of the inquisitors have (intact) bases they utterly demolish the resurgent witch hunters base, as the witch hunters were in the base at the time they won't be coming after you.
6: They say stuff like "Kinisis reduces big city smog", "Kinisis is tackling the overpopulation problem, one idiotic blunder at a time" and "He's a nice guy all right?" as they said all these things while holding people at gunpoint it was very effective but mysteriously reverted after they left.
5: They find there IS more money in helping you.
6: They drown the comment boards and shout in the streets, they become quite a nuisance and nobody really listens to them anymore.
6: A slight relative velocity miscalculation sends you through the wall with a fairly impressive crash and dust cloud.
-tortus +tortoise temple +80 cultists +50 trained cultists +Merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists)[2] turns, Kinisis PR about the same, 50 heavily armed cultists ignored, summoned, heavily wounded, barn damaged
ME: roll the orb of stalwart onto dry land using telkinesis and draggin the top of the orb (incompetence-B-gone charge 1)
cultists get out of the flaming ropeary and summon me (incompetence-B-gone charges 2 and 3)
so using the incompetence-B-gone's charges i should be summoned now right?
1: Pump comes out of water, water stops, cultists now under rock.
i consider that a success... errmm that's not my speech
this is mah speech
look at me i am cool i threw new york into the ocean i can throw you into the ocean (pick's up a mic through telekinesis and drops it)
4: You roll it onto the ground without incident.
2: (Reroll)
4: As the orb was inside the flaming Roaperary the cultists access it without issue. Then summon you in an almost supernaturally dull way.
Send my 15 leadership men to do their own speeches, passing out flyers of all the stupid things Bont, has done, including several things that didn't happen.
Publicly denounce (Through the tortoise, three cultists, and the slime) Bont Da Lifas for causing the event, including to mention the fact that he has kidnapped 50 people from the town of Belford, and that they must be freed, or I, will throw the full force of my funding against him.
5: Your smear campaign rakes him through the mud
5: They convince Bont's jailers to release your cultists
-Bont da lifas PR, cultists freed
My Speech: Which of the four Candidates would you like to have, The Mind controlling Goat That is Attacking my Reputation? I Believe it is an insane mutant with no regard for earth! Then There is Kinesis, he drowns his own people and claims that it's an Accident over E-Book, He is as incompetent as they come, he even Flooded New York After setting up a massive Flaming Roperary around his cult as an insult to stupidity! And finally you have Skyles, he drove local law enforcement insane in his stupidity!! I have gathered many people to follow me and they are almost all alive! I Am also the only one that is actually here! So which one of us do you want?
(Since I probably can do both at the same time, If not, Just do the Speech instead of the action.)
My action: I change the biome of Kinesis's Pontoon base to "Arctic".
Cultists: Serve the Decanter of endless kool-aid to everyone that is not a part of this cult so they vote for me!
Mafia Underlings: Rig the votes in my favor!
Inquisitors: Give out papers that point out all the stupid things Kinesis, Skyles, and the Taxgoat have done, to anyone and everyone that shows up to inquisitor con.
1: The fire and ice balance neatly, although Kinisis's cultists can still get lost it's no longer fatal
6: the pump-and-rune contraption they set up floods everywhere
2: Not enough time, they would have needed to change stuff while the voting system was still being planned.
5: They are newly aggravated, they shall be a bit more vicious from now on.
Base flooded, Roaperary traversable
Inquisitor Con!
Dislikers of the occult gather from all round and trade horror stories, grumble about things and occasionally get things done.
Relax and plan
Try and recover research
discuss if inquisitors would do better in different groups2: They get the relax part down.
4: Skyies inquisitors write down what they remember of the purge ritual, although it is not the complete ritual by a long shot and the devices necessary to keep the ingredients stable were destroyed in the fire finding the ritual again will be much easier for them all
1: Suggesting cooperation! The shear GALL of that guy! Onto the stake with him!
And so inquisitor con ends
Election!
Tax Goat gets 2 from a good campaign and one more just from running so 3.
Kinisis only has 1 point and poor PR, as it's just poor and not bad I will roll to see if it's -1 (1-3 for -1, 4-6 for 0) and it's 6! he gets a chance. Although destroying a city is generally not good speech material he gets a point for audacity so in all 2.
Skies is fairly neutral in the public eye, those starting voters are all he has to go on so 1.
Bont Da Lifas's bad PR cancels out his starting voters yet his good speech and that "almost all are alive" is a vast improvement over previous presidents and the other candidates gets him 2 points of support
1-3 Tax goat. 4-5 Kinisis. 6 Skyies. 7-8 Bont Da Lifas. 19-20 reroll
and The Roll!: 18... It's just a tad of an anticlimax, Joe Dullson gets the presidency
Tax goatTMFollowers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists, 48 heavily armed cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood.
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, The voting public like your one platform campaign.
KinesisFollowers: 50 impoverished cultists. 25 cultists.
You: summoned
Items: Pontoon base, Orb of Stalwart 3 on fountain spout, Dragons blood, Incompetence-B-gone [3] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion).
Haters: 80 inquisitors, ritual of banishment.
PR: poor PR
Areas: NY crater(filled with water), slightly flaming Roperary
TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)
SkyiesFollowers: 9 cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, 101 cultists, trained komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists)[2] turns, 50 boring cultists
You: Summoned, heavily wounded
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with Orb of stalwart 1 with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 52 light weapons, 100 Flamethrowers/bombs, Training facility, Wooden glyph of warding, Tactical nuke.
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places, 101 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal location
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.
Bont da lifasYou: Summoned
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 200 cultists, 200 armed mafia underlings, 25 hidden cultists
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, 50 kidnapped hidden Tax goat cultists.
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[3] turns
WorldLocations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill
Events: elections now, 19-20 on the votey die shall result in a reroll.
Misc: inquisitor con, where inquisitors convene