"You are a worthless fuck. I will rip of your head and shit down your neck!"
"Everybody. Yes, all of you Grunts. 100$ to the one who makes this git suffer the most!"
"Just don't kill him."
The screams of pain last long into the night. In the morning, you say that the fun from beating up the Grunt was payment enough. Your minions agree. Completely.
"Now to other work..."
(5) The two agents you assigned to search for SCP-3 locate it easily. (you may act on a plan to capture SCP-3 again next turn)
(4) The two agents you assigned to search for SCP-4 report that it is easily available on all common online mobile applications stores. Anyone could download it. And it's bloody free(as in it costs nothing).
(4)(4) The two researchers you assigned to Elfa report that the biography one of them wrote about her is completely accurate(ask any question about her life and you'll get a true answer). The other Researcher determines that the phenomenon known as SCP-2 only occurs in an approximately 15km radius around her.
(5) The researcher you assigned to find ways to generate money from your SCPs reports:
"The simplest option is simply to try and sell SCPs on the black market or perhaps to governments. As you might imagine, that might have rather bad results. Other than that, I don't see any potential to earn money using the anomalies we have currently, though it should be noted we do not currently have much information on SCP-5."
With that, you hire 10 Agents for 5000$.
And you send them to get a loan for your amusement park plans. (3) They return an hour later with... the name of a man who invests in amusement parks.
(6) ((Part of the reason I run games is for the entertainment of my players. The other half is "because it's fun for me".))
((Now, before you continue reading, I want you to imagine the possibilities. Wait a moment. Now continue.))
You fall asleep for a few hours, tired from the day's work.
You are promptly awakened from your slumber by cheering. Cheering that is very loud. Suddenly a number of Grunts grab you and carry you outside of your office, outside of the bunker, where you find an amusement park. "The SCP Organization- Surprise, Celebrate, Powerup?"
Worse, there are PEOPLE strolling about. You- you- you are a tad bit confused now. The bunker seems to have been replaced by a funhouse, with the bunker's entrance hidden inside. Guests are entering the park and leaving via helicopter. Why is it that your Grunts are absolutely brilliant only when you don't want them to be? Why can't they just be normal minions? Why must their brains fail 1/6 of the time?
... and something's wrong.
You see. You see that somehow, the SCPs(some of them) have been converted into exhibits! There's a fountain with SCP-1 spewing water out of it... there's a billboard warning about the effects of SCP-2... SCP-4 is advertised in the fliers... the fliers... your mission has been PERVERTED.
And a mike just got thrust into your hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, conspiracy theorists and nutballs, behold the founder of The SCP Organization, Mr... VERCUNI!" Somehow you got led to a podium atop a stage while you were thinking. There are guests sitting on folding chairs in front of the stage. They clap.
A quick time event has been initiated. Time for a speech.
Also, the Grunts spent all your money and then some.
A small tear drips forth from your left eye. Most would call it a tear of joy.
You are not most.
"Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of the best fun house of all time! Now, to not hold you back from enjoying the park, I will only say this: from time to time we will bring in new attractions, so remember to come back! Have fun!"
You hand one of your Agents, acting as a bodyguard, the mic, and descend from the stage, more tears falling from your eyes.
Most would call those tears of joy.
Later, in your room- "WHYYYYYY??? WHY COULDN'T I JUST HAVE COMPETENT MINIONS!?" The tears flow full force down your cheeks.
Status:
0$
(35000$ in debt to the Mafia, must be paid off by turn 48.)
(4000$ in debt to... you're not exactly sure.)
(must write a bi-yearly report about the state of the operation, send it to Egyptian government)
Personalle:
Rinush Vercuni(healthy, dressed in
a bargain tuxedo, emotionally demolished)
39 Amusement Park Grunts(actually Grunts)(healthy)
4 Amusement Park Personalle(actually Agents)(healthy)
3 Amusement Park Supervisors(actually Researchers)(healthy)
Buildings:
SCP(Surprise, Celebrate, Powerup) Amusement Park
-Ultimate Funhouse
-Crummy Bunker(access by using secret passage from Ultimate Funhouse)
+First Floor
-(perfect containment chamber for SCP-1, does not contain SCP-1)
-(an old-fashioned jail cell, containing Elfa S. Loewes)
-(staircase downwards into unbuilt second floor, halfway built second floor)
-(hostile entity containment room)
SCP-1 Fountain
Various Other Amusement Park Stuffs and Billboards
Items:
A human book, made of bone and flesh.
A biography of Elfa S. Loewes.
SCPs:
SCP-1
SCP-2?
SCP-5
Information:
SCP-1SCP-2(note your knowledge of an elderly woman named Elfa S. Loewes who likely causes SCP-2 to happen?)
SCP-3SCP-4SCP-5Design for hostile entity containment room(cost 4000$, widely usable)