Update of unknown dankitude incoming!!!( )
(Well, time to have Mike do what an ordinary 6th grader would do in this situation)
After finishing up in the bathroom, hold my head in shame and sneak out of the mansion without telling anyone. Return home, go to bed, and cry myself to sleep.
[6] You run out of the front door screaming like a nervous wreck all the way home. There is a brown stain on your soggy pants. You get back home and cry your smelly self to sleep.
GUEST ELIMINATEDHide active stink-bombs in all bathrooms of the house, then go to the food tables. Wait until people leave the food tables because I stink like diarrhea, then put powdered laxatives in all the food.
Janet swiftly removes you from her lap. Without a word, you go to the first floor bathroom and brush past Mike as he screams hysterically.
[5] You successfully plant stink bombs in the first floor bathroom and head upstairs.
[4] You break into Stan's room and plant a stink bomb there as well.
[6] Feeling confident in your sapper skills, you try Rex's door. As soon as you touch the door, it immediately opens. Before you stands Rex clad in blue robes.
"Ah, yes," he says,
"Just what we needed. The flesh of the innocent!"[2] Before you can react, he grabs you and pulls you in, shutting the door behind you. In the room you see at least six other cult members, all with pale skin and pimpley faces. Rex hands you to two of the bigger cultists and they relieve you of your backpack and your clothes. With you down to your underwear, the cultists tie up your hands and feet.
"Prepare the summoning symbol!" Rex barks to his followers.
"Gather the rest of the things we have collected and arrange them as we discussed. The Midnight Devil will be pleased with our devotion. This plucky young boy," Rex says as he twists your nipple,
"will be especially pleasing to our dark lord."You see them gather plants, herbs, a leg of goat, two rubix cubes, and a CD labeled "Tales of a Young Thug: Hottest Mixtape of 2017." They are arranged around an ornate pentagram that has at least three penises drawn into it. The cultists hoist you onto their shoulders as they begin chanting in an unknown language.
((I must ask, are the stink bombs time activated or remote controlled or what? What is the mechanism for activating the stink bombs?))
"Wha-hu-re-wh?Bu-Bah! I have places to be, insane pc 'master race'! Off with you!"
Go to the Kitchen, I REALLY NEED THOSE TOPINGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW
DODDOD
[5] Urist McRichard does not bother you as you assume possession of
the crate. Instead, he picks up a "shield" made of cardboard and prays to his god for protection in his heroic feats. You exit the room and spy Connor being pulled into Rex's room. More concerned with your own plans, you head on down to the kitchen and begin adding toppings to your pizza. In the kitchen, you encounter Mr. Dudley drunk off his ass trying to put pizza in his liquor and muttering about how it will be "the best invention ever."
"Excuse me?"
Remove the guy from my lap.
[4] You push the dookie-smelling Connor off of you and continue playing E.T. Steven shows up right behind you yelling "LEL, much dank," "What're thooooose," "U FOCKING WOT M8," "Get Shrekt," and other similar phrases. You can feel the cancer.
Well crap, go find Janet and play video games.
[6] Without a word to Stan, you bolt out of there and go to the home theater. You see Connor go into the first floor bathroom, probably to wash his pants. You find Janet and start shouting "dank MLG memes" at her as she struggles to make E.T. do game.