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[Jack A T]

"So what now? You'll take me to your HQ?"

He nods.

You remember that you still have that report that needs to be finished, and quickly.  The Deputy Minister's going to be coming by soon, and she wants that report ready when she arrives.

[Andres]

Go to HQ

[heydude6]

Grab the notepad we were definitely carrying on ourselves this whole time and write a report about how the best way to regulate gambling would be to make it so that anyone who manages to win at the casino eventually has to pay the money back in a few years. That will stop Gambling for sure!

If no notepad, just use a phone.

[FArgHalfnr]

Who cares about reports, we're going to be space mathematics wizards! And beside, we'll probably be able to control time itself by the end of it. We'll just have to go back in time, no problems!

[Jack A T]

Who cares about reports, we're going to be space mathematics wizards! And beside, we'll probably be able to control time itself by the end of it. We'll just have to go back in time, no problems!

Grab the notepad we were definitely carrying on ourselves this whole time and write a report about how the best way to regulate gambling would be to make it so that anyone who manages to win at the casino eventually has to pay the money back in a few years. That will stop Gambling for sure!
If no notepad, just use a phone.

Go to HQ

The man opens a portal, and the two of you enter, with you clutching your smartphone.  You start shivering as you end up in an icy, snowy, freezing, desolate, remote area, probably in the frozen north of your obscure North American monarchy.  In the distance, the far distance, you see a great fortress of stone and ice.

"Can't teleport any closer, unfortunately.  Defences.  Going to be a long walk."

As you walk, you shakily tap away at your smartphone, trying to write a harsh anti-gambling report.  Maybe, though, you'll get to control time with this "mathemagic" or whatever, so you don't work too hard on writing.

[Cheesecake]

Use dark and forbidden calculus to surround ourselves in warming but harmless fire.

[Jack A T]

Use dark and forbidden calculus to surround ourselves in warming but harmless fire.

If you knew the dark and forbidden calculus, you wouldn't be starting your apprenticeship now.

You keep walking, eventually reaching the gate of the fortress.  Two guards open it upon seeing the robed man, revealing darkness.

[Cheesecake]

Make mental addendum to learn dark calculus in our spare time. In the meantime, enter the fortress.

[Jack A T]

Make mental addendum to learn dark calculus in our spare time. In the meantime, enter the fortress.

You step through the gate.  Immediately, you feel much warmer, and your eyes slowly adjust to the low light in the entrance hall.  Grand staircases going up several floors.  Hallways in many, many directions.  A massive supercomputer, probably working on mathematical problems far beyond what a single mathemagician can handle.  The smell of finely roasted duck in the air, coming from somewhere to your left.

The robed man speaks.  "Welcome, Mr. Baker, to Fort Erdős, training ground for the new members of the Society!  Here, over the next few years, you will learn the basics of mathemagic!  First, though, you need the right graphing calculator..."

Your phone rings.  Caller ID says it's your manager from back in the office.  Probably wants an update on the report.

[Andres]

Take out the battery.

[Cheesecake]

+1 to above, then receive calculator. Preferably in staff-form.

[FallacyofUrist]

+1 to above, then receive calculator. Preferably in staff-form.

Aye!

[Jack A T]

Take out the battery.

+1 to above, then receive calculator. Preferably in staff-form.

Who needs a job when they're an awesome wizard?  You rip the battery out of your phone and fling it outside into the snow, hopefully blocking all efforts to contact you.  The Deputy Minister will not be happy, but what could she do against a mathemagician?

Anyway, you've got mathemagic to learn.  You follow the robed man over to a massive room where all the walls are covered with graphing calculators.  It looks like it would take hours to find the right one, but somehow you end up almost pulled towards one particular calculator: a hefty graphing calculator mounted on top of a long staff.  You grab it and it feels... right... in your hands.

The robed man smiles and says, "Now, I cannot teach you everything.  What do you want to be able to do with mathemagic?"

[Cheesecake]

To calculate the world's most efficient policies, that we can benefit the world in the most efficient way possible.

[Demonic Spoon]

The robed man smiles and says, "Now, I cannot teach you everything.  What do you want to be able to do with mathemagic?"[/i]

Bureaucracy