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[FArgHalfnr]

CRAP. Get out through the window/wall depending which one is easier to pass through.

[Jack A T]

CRAP. Get out through the window/wall depending which one is easier to pass through.

You get on the toilet, relieve yourself, and flush, and then look at the wall and window.  The window might just be big enough, so you open it and crawl through, falling outside in the grass by the sidewalk.  Your suit is now stained with grass, and you hear screaming inside the building.

[Andres]

Car. Drive. Home.

[Jack A T]

Car. Drive. Home.

You walk just over to the back door and get in to your car.  Unfortunately, you seem to have dropped your car keys somewhere.

[Andres]

Walk home.

[FArgHalfnr]

Run home. We are being chased by our coffee overlords, no time to walk!

[Andres]

Run home. We are being chased by our coffee overlords, no time to walk!

+1. Caffeine boost should keep us going.

[Jack A T]

Run home. We are being chased by our coffee overlords, no time to walk!

Walk home.

Energized by caffeine, you start running home.  A few seconds in, you hear a yell of "It's him!" behind you.  They're on your tail.

Unfortunately, caffeine doesn't prevent you from getting tired out by trying to run for several kilometres, and eventually you give up and just walk.  The CoffeeCafe security team seems oddly unfazed, though, and is catching up... then everything slows down.  With a flash of light, a tall old man in a fine black robe appears in front of you, holding a graphing calculator.  Despite everything else around seeming slowed down (including you), he moves at normal speed.

"Adam Baker, your application has been received.  Your apprenticeship is to begin now.  Welcome... to the Society of Mathemagicians."

With a few taps on his calculator, the CoffeeCafe security agents start to slowly fall over.  A few more taps and the world returns to normal speed.

[Andres]

"lolwut?"

[Jack A T]

"lolwut?"

You respond with a simple "Lolwut?"

"We tracked your search for the deeper secrets of calculus.  We know how you fixed the coffee maker.  You showed promise.  Then you passed the test."

You notice the CoffeeCafe security team seems to be... melting?  Into what, you can't really tell from here.

[Andres]

"If I drink the security will I gain their powers?"

[Jack A T]

"If I drink the security will I gain their powers?"

You ask such a simple question of the man.  He responds, "Lolwut?"

[Andres]

"If I drink what's left of the security guards will I gain the skills and abilities of a security guard?"

[Jack A T]

"If I drink what's left of the security guards will I gain the skills and abilities of a security guard?"

He looks sort of disgusted.  "I have no idea what that stuff even is!  Corpses don't normally melt, you know..."

[Andres]

"So what now? You'll take me to your HQ?"