I'm dealing with a flood of humanities majors applying for residency at my fort. Every few minutes (I'm not kidding) I get a new petition for some long-haired wastrel who wants a free room so he can spend all day hanging around in the bar, singing, dancing, telling asinine poems that don't even rhyme, and playing that stupid music the kids all listen to now days. How can they even listen to that crap? All this they want, and they don't even want to have to do any real work at all. The trading caravan pulls in, and do they jump up and grab stuff to take to the depot? Oh no, it's not in their contract! All they want to do is sing and dance and other artsy-fartsy crap like that.
Well, from now on, my policy is this: Either you've got a degree in a real science or engineering major so you can contribute in the library (and I expect you to publish on a regular basis, not just teach two classes a week and then hang around talking about the research you're going to do someday), or else you'd better be willing to put your butt on the line when the greenskins come to town. It's "publish or perish" or "fight or die" from now on if you want to be a long term resident in my fort. If all you've got is "song and dance", you can stick around for a week or two, then hit the road.
Edit: In the time it took to write the above, four more of these bums have put in their petitions for long term residency, all for the purpose of "entertaining citizens and visitors." Oh, wait, one of the applications is for an entire group, "The Smiles of Relieving." Well, I got news for them, I'll be the one smiling, when they'll be leaving.
Petition Denied.
Petition Denied.
Petition Denied.
Petition Denied.
Hit the road, losers!